


clock gears and cogs

by AxZi



Category: Heart no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country of Hearts
Genre: Brief Mentions Of Alice, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Friendships, F/M, Faceless, Multi, Polyamory, Psychological Drama, Some Eventual Smoochings, Soul-Searching, The Hatter Mansion, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 23:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 44,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12330645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxZi/pseuds/AxZi
Summary: Homeless now for a good three months, Lucy alights on an opportunity to do some good for once and seizes it, only to regret it when she's pushed down the manhole by two murder happy twins.It figured.Then, while said murderous twins open up to her about their adoring affection for her, some (poorly) suppressed feelings bubble up in her again which makes accepting the former almost impossible. But in the end, going together like clock gears and cogs: the twins are brutal, Wonderland is full of terrors, and she may actually belong here?All she can be sure of is, it's going to be one heck of a ride.





	1. Tweedle Dee and Dum

### Chapter one: Dee and Dum

Time is a difficult thing to parse. It makes no sense, it can go slower or faster, or it can stop spinning at all. Time was complex.

Now, in Wonderland, resigned, disgraced, and for all of that thankfully no longer homeless, Lucy wished that either way, consequence hadn't catched up to her. That was truly what made time so hellish, consequence. It was really the one thing that, no matter what time it was, it stayed with you. And it was what had led her to here.

And what had led up to here?

Synchronised laughter in the wind, and the wish of a homeless woman to finally do a good deed.

It began here.

\----

"Laughter?"

Wiping the drool from her face, Lucy sat up from the park bench she'd been using as bed for the past few days. The creepily in synchronised laughter started up again, and she twisted to look at the bushes behind the bench. She saw them shake as if by a harsh wind, before two boys (they looked identical. Twins?) crawled out from under them.

They were indeed children, probably had just entered middle school. With identical short hair cuts and rounds cheeks of baby fat, the only way she could keep them apart was their unmatched clothing. A red tunic for the one on the right, and a blue tunic for the left one.

"Yes!" Two twin high voices chorused as one. They quickly joined her on the bench, sitting on their knees on either side of Lucy.

"I'm Dum," began the red one, "And I'm Dee," the other finished. "Who are you? Why are you sleeping on this bench?"  
  
"Aren't you cold?" The blue one added.

Lucy looked at them discomforted. How was she supposed to tell them about the horrors of being homeless? Should she even, was that a thing she should do to children?

She put her thoughts in order. "I am cold. But what are you two doing here? Where are your parents?"

And were people going to use the park again? On second thought, that was most pressing.

The two shared a look, mischief sharpening the corners of their pointy faces. The red one spoke, "We don't have any."

"Well," the blue one finished, "We have Blood." He made a so-so gesture.

What did blood have to do with it? Lucy shook her head in confusion, and then a cold hand was pressed into her own. 

"Blood Dupre. He's like an uncle," the children chimed in. Smiling, the child named Dee said, "Hey, are you here because you don't have any parents?"

The words were said with the cruel ignorance of a child, maybe. But Lucy felt herself flush in humiliation never the less. Because the truth of the matter was, he'd struck gold. His guess was exactly right. 

"So you don't have a home," the one named Dum commented softly. A child's pity flashed like a beacon in his eyes and Lucy swallowed the brick in her throat, uncomfortably aware of the child's hand still in her own. Was she weak enough to rely on something as nebulous as this?

She immediately let go of it, Dee making a wounded sound of protest. She smothered the split second guilt in it's cradle and instead stood up, turned around and crossed her arms.

Lucy stood imperiously in front of them, her strong front repatched. "Go home, you two. Don't go hanging about with people like me, it'll leave you with bad habits. Not many like me are that harmless."

Ignoring her completely, Dum rolled over on the bench where she'd sat and soaked in the heat the wood had leeched from her body. Her eyebrows took an upside down curve. _These children..._ She couldn't even finish the sentence. 

"You see, drooly sis, we don't _want_ to go home," Dee explained over the top of his brother's head, who he was now resting his cheek on.

"Don't want to," Dum affirmed, sprawling out bonelessly over Lucy's bench. She smothered the jealousy too. It was silly getting envious about a child using up a park bench.

Besides, she was more preoccupied about the discomforting feeling spreading through her body and making her feel sick. An "like an" uncle named something as omious as blood. Children out in the dark on their own. Lucy wasn't always so into herself she couldn't notice when something was up, and for sure, here there was.

But even as she thought this, Dee and Dum were still talking.

"We're always made to guard the front of the house," Dee said, sticking his little tongue out in disgust.

"We're never allowed to play. Elliot always knows," Dum scoffed in support. 

Then their complaints started to gain momentum, like domino tiles falling over themselves.

"Sis doesn't way to play with us anymore, anyway."

"And we're always short changed. Blood treats the chicky rabbit much better!"

"Even after all we do! And that Ace bastard--!"

"We hate them!" they chorused.

Guard the front entrance of the house? Ace? "Does... does he make you two do that for time outs?" Lucy couldn't figure out any other reason.

"Haven't had a time out in my life," Said Dee with a careless wave of his hand.

She pursed her lips together and frowned, before with a sigh, decided to do something about this curiosity of hers. "Scoot over please, I'm coming to sit there again."

"Okay!" With smooth and agile movements, the two shimmied onto the back of the bench and Lucy sat in the middle of them again.

She inhaled sharply, gathering up her courage, before meeting the twin's inquisive eyes. "Whatever your caretaker is doing to you both...I need to know about it."

Their lips curved into a smirk. "We thought you'd never ask."

As it was approaching darkness, she was reminded of their age and said, "You two have anywhere to stay?" It should be their bed time after all.   
  
The two exchanged looks. "We don't want to go back yet," Their voices pitched childishly high.   
  
"Well, I would let you stay here for the night, but..." She gestured at the park around her. The singular bench, the pond behind the bushes and the trees surrounding it all. "I don't exactly have any place to spare. Or, you know, anything to feed you two when you get up."   
  
Dee tapped his chin thoughtfully. "That's right." Dum nodded along. Dee threw away a twig from where he'd been crouched and sat up. "Then that's decided! Drooly sis, you'll go with us, won't you?"   
  
"Whoa wow wow, what are you saying?" She waved her hands in the air in front of her in a warding off gesture. "I can't go with you two to your house." She swallowed her tongue before she could say "what would your parents think" remembering the fact they were orphans. Orphans, or something like it.  
  
"Awww, come on!" Dee reached out from the seat next to her to grab her hand, putting on his puppy dog eyes. "We're children, after all! And it's dark--should we really walk back home alone?"   
  
And then there was that. Could Lucy really trust that the two wild children she'd come to know would be okay getting back home? She could imagine them falling into trouble. It was a bit frightening how easily she could.   
  
She let out a sigh of defeat, to which the two menaces cheered knowing they'd won.   
  
Dee joined Dum in front of her and the two of them wrapped her arms around her elbows. "Then let's go!" They cheered.   
  
"Right right." She let them drag her to her foot, and looked over to the path that led to the entrance of the park. "Which way?" Lucy didn't think it'd be far, considering the boys respective ages.   
  
Dee tugged onto her arm, insistent while his brother pointed towards the street. "That way."  
  
Lucy hobbled along, her eyebrows raised at their sudden eagerness.   
  
The two brothers pulled her round the street corner with an open manhole in the centre. They moved closer towards it.   
  
"Watch out," she said, seeing they were crossing it's path.   
  
"It's alright," the two assured her off, before with a hop and a skip they moved right past it, pulling her by her forearms along--   
  
"--got you," Dee whispered, and put his entire weight behind him, shoving her into the manhole.   
  
She fell.

The scream _ripped_ straight from her vocal cords, "AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Nothing but the black insides of the manhole accompanying her—well, that wasn't completely true.

"This is fun, isn't it?" One of the twins, she didn't know which one, called out merrily. Dee had fallen with her when he'd pushed her in, but by the warmth of a hand on her other forearm she presumed Dum had been dragged along as well.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO ACCOMPANY YOU TWO IN A MURDER SUICIDE! DID YOU TWO DO THIS ON PURPOSE?"

Lucy felt like such an _idiot._ She'd thought the twins' backstory was iffy, and their boldness in approaching her alarming, but she'd let herself get her hopes up and thought she could actually be useful for once in her life. And now her wish to help had, for the second time, brought her nothing but grief. _"_ AYAAAAAHHH!" _Curse my soft, pathetic heart! "_ AAAAAHHHH--!"   
  
"What are you talking about, drooly sis!?" One of the kids yelled back at her jovially. "Brother and I are just giving you what you wanted! We're letting you walk us back home!"  
  
She got the impression he'd only raised his voice to be heard above her screams.   
  
"Brother is right!" The other twin laughed, sounding remarkably sane for the unhinged sense they were making. "You need to see our room, drooly sis! So you need to come with us to Wonderland!"  
  
"Was," her teeth were chattering; _she was going to die, oh god,_ "that a polite euphemism for the underworld, you brats!?"  
  
Twin laughs were the only response they gave her, the innocent joy of two children up to some mischief, and Lucy's stomach churned like she'd eaten something rotten. She couldn't help her yell, "I, I don't WANT TO DIEEEEEEEE----!"   
  
They fell. Everything went tipsy topsy curvy, and she didn't know whether up was up anymore, or if it'd moved. Lucy had enough of her wits to simply know not to touch the walls, so she had to keep herself as small as possible. ...How had their fall not yet been broken? It shouldn't be possible that a manhole was this deep.  
  
"Yay, we've caught drooly sis, Dee and me, Bloody Twins--"  
  
And the twin's singing didn't help matters either.   
  
"On a journey~ a journey~ wonderful wonder land! With my brother and me!"   
  
_It didn't make sense._ They were going to die! _Die die die diediedie!_  
  
It busted from her lips, a clipped plea, "STOP! SINGI--"

_Thump._

The word caught in her throat.

_Tap, click._

"....Huh." The words leaving her completely, her feet found solid ground. She hadn't turned into human mush, and didn't know what to say.   
  
"...e...uh.."  
  
It was strange. Ignoring the twins completely, the denim of Lucy's trousers shifting, she crouched to her knees and tested the earth with her fingerpads. Dry, and as she found out when she rubbed her fingers together, crumbly. She'd fallen. Down a street road. Into a forest?   
  
"u..u..gh?" _You have to be joking me._ But even Lucy couldn't deny what met her eyes. _  
  
"_ We're here!"  
  
The cheery voice caught her attention, and Lucy lifted her eyes while two large hands-- _wait, large?--_ latched onto her own. She let her eyes naturally connecting with the adult besides her.   
  
"....It's... a giant."  
  
Dee was tall. In fact, he was now two entire heads bigger than her. Lucy was quite the tall girl herself, reaching 5'11, but these two were taller than her. She knew they still had to be the twins, no matter how their shoulders had broadened to acceptable level for men, because the mischievious looks they shot her were the same. Dum had latched onto her arm from her other side. _  
  
_ They looked to have grown from thirteen years olds right into their middle twenties. So they were somewhat older than she was right now, if Lucy had guesstimated it correctly.   
_  
_ Absently she wondered whether she hadn't just been given a concussion with the fall, nevermind her not hitting her head. These things _didn't_ happen. _(Not to her.)_  
  
Whatever her thoughts, one of the twins moved her wrist up and bowing his head laid a butterfly kiss on it. "You know, drooly sis, I'll introduce myself again. I'm Dee, and that's Dum. And this..." He pushed away from her to move in a circle in his spot, the grass breaking beneath his boots. "Is Wonderland."   
  
There was a tilted smile on Dum's lips. "Welcome home."   
  
Lucy could only gaze at the handsome faces gazing back at her, full of (perhaps?) ill intent. She couldn't move her limbs--they felt weighted down like solid granite. She couldn't remove herself from Dum, who was still holding onto her. She could speak, so she parted her numb lips and whispered, "How?"  
  
Her head was spinning, spinning, and suddenly Lucy felt ill. Her knees wobbled, _snap,_ her unsteady feet crushing plant growth.   
  
Dee answer was simply, "You wanted to walk us home." Underneath his uncaring gaze, she felt like a butterfly pinned to a corkboard.   
  
"But that's not bad you know?" Dum suddenly piped up, and wrapped his arm more securely around her to counteract her unsteadiness. "Brother and I chose you out of soo many others. Because we wanted to show you our room."  
  
The blue-eyed twin was nodding along with him, a shine to his eyes which was almost cryptic--almost, since it'd been the exact same they'd faced her with since they'd landed. "Sooo many others, drooly sis. But none of them were fun, you know? Because in middle school, you___"  
  
A rushing sound, like fast running water filled her ears, and Lucy winced at the uncomfortable feeling, lifting her hands to tenderly rub them.   
  
"Sorry, did you say something?"  
  
Dum's grin sharpened like his axe. "Just a sound check."   
  
Lucy quirked a bushy eyebrow at him but he remained mum. Dee didn't say anything as well.   
  
 He changed topics, "But we can't talk right now. We have to go, because this is where Ace often shows up."  
  
"The Ace you talked about before?" she asked, while the two brothers started moving hurriedly away from here. She followed sedately after, not being able to stop herself from sharpening her ears for sounds out of the ordinary.   
  
There were the ordinary nature calls, birds communicating back and forwards and crickets calling. There was the snap crunch of their feet shuffling through the dead fall of the forest.   
  
Dee made a face as if he was biting into something sour. "Yes, Ace." "He's scary," His brother added, "You never know what he'll do."   
  
It was weird for her to hear them speak in the same venicular as before. It had been cute when they were children, but now just seemed out of place. One thing she just didn't get. "You say he's scary, but what does he do?" She sent an inquiring eyebrow raise at the brothers, though they didn't look back to see it. Waste of an eyebrow, in other words.   
  
"Glad you asked!" Said Dee. He threw his arms into the air in agitation, and began stomping too. "Ace always comes over to our house, even though he should be doing his job!"  
  
"And then he picks a fight with us, except we don't have a choice, not like normal," his brother commiserated. "It's just sport for him. He corners us, like cats in a trap," he added with a nose wrinkle.   
  
"And with fighting, you mean..." Lucy trailed off, hopping over a cut down tree log.   
  
"With swords, of course!"  
  
It should be illegal to sound that delighted talking about bladed weapons, Lucy thought. Another frission of fear went crackling down her spine, but this time she ignored it. Her eyes popped open instead in incredulity. "Live weapons? Who would do that with poor innocent chil--" She cut herself off before she could complete that sentence and sighed inwardly. Right, they weren't children. They were something she didn't know, for all she knew, fighting like that was normal.   
  
Carefree sounding laughter startled her out of her revelry, and she looked before her to see the blue-eyed not child smile in her direction, stiffling giggles. "Innocent," He chortled. Kicking a peddle into the distance, Lucy looked away out of embarrassment.   
  
"Don't worry," Dum cajoled, "We'll be there soon. To the mansion."   
  
She had to ask, "And what will happen with _me_ then?"   
  
The other brother pouted, which looked weird on his adult face. "You don't think we'll let you leave? But drooly sis, why would we do anything to you?"   
  
That was her question too, but they hadn't given her the answer to yet.   
  
"But you're right," The first brother said, the air sobering. He turned around, walking backwards forwards. "It'll be very difficult for drooly sis to get back home without any help. So since we did this, we should help her, right brother?"   
  
"Right, for drooly sis, brother," his brother went accord, a smile still noticeable in the lines of his jaw. Not going to try even looking sympathetic, Lucy thought.   
His and his brother's hasty pace slowed down before the both of them drew to a stop.   
  
"And that's our mansion right there." His hand positioned in a claw and his brown hair windswept, Dee gestured at the building in the distance.   
  
It was, like they'd said, a mansion. With a flat roof, and what she could already see to be many rooms from the windows, and the foyer she could see through the glass entrance doors, whoever owned it had spared no expenses indeed.

The chill she'd been trying to ward off crystalized her blood, and she was frozen stiff again.

But the brothers saw that, had perhaps, calculated that. And they cheerfully hooked their arms underneath hers again and dragged her off to the entrance mat.   
  
Despite what she'd half expected, there was no bell going off when they swept inside the building.  
  
"Welcome back, Dee, Dum. And this lady is?" A tall stranger wearing a floor sweeping waistcoat and a top hat said, smooth black hair spilling out from under the rim.   
  
And it is here she got her first look of Blood Dupre, their "sort of uncle." They do not look alike, her first thought being as she stared unashamedly at the man barring their way.   
  
Dee suddenly moved his hand down her arm before it claspsed with hers. "This," He said, and let a tell of silence pass for maximum reaction, "Is a foreigner, Lucy."   
  
From the open look of shock on the man's sharp face, Lucy guessed this was something out of the ordinary. She gave a dumb wave back at him.   
  
The tall man straightened himself up to his fullest extent right after, looking strictly down at Dee and Dum. "Tell me you didn't kidnap a foreigner." His sluggish baritone came out long suffering, the linguistic equivalent of a face palm.   
  
"Okay," said Dee obediently, though his grip on her hand tightened by degrees. "We didn't kidnap a foreigner into Wonderland...not!" He laughed afterwards, a child unaware of consequences.   
  
"So I'm officially kidnapped then."  
  
Lucy's words came out numbly, her lungs inflating and deflating ordinarily. Was this what shock felt like?   
  
"What? No." Dum shook his head in a wild shake of denial. "We found you. Finder's keepers."   
  
A good enough excuse for a child, but the brothers weren't children. Lucy looked down at her and Dee's claspsed hands. She couldn't see them as anything other than restraints now; shackles. She gave an experimental tug, but Dee's fingers gripped on like metal.   
  
Blood Dupre sighed. "If that's so, we have a room you can use, until these two can get you back home." He sent a stern look over the tops of the brothers' heads, but they stayed mum. Actually, she got a palpable air of smugness from the two. They had gotten their way, and despite Lucy's obvious suffering and their uncle's disapproval, they felt no regrets.

Her shoulders twitched, but she obediently trailed after the brothers as they led her to her room for the night.   
  
The room itself wasn't awful. About as huge as expected from a mansion this size, though she wouldn't have expected the austere wallpaper for such a place. There were a couple of pieces of furniture, like a vanity, a bed, and naturally a closet but nothing else.   
  
"I want to go to sleep," she sullenly told the two brothers as she sat down over the edge of the bed, playing with the fabric from the covers. They exchanged looks, giving her a good glimpse again of the sharp line of their cheekbones.  
  
Then Dee said, pointing at her, "Before anything else, drink your bottle."   
  
Lucy raised an eyebrow at his advice. "What bottle?" she asked, and Dum patted his own pockets in example. She skeptically searched her own, and was confused to come out with a cylinder bottle with a heart shaped cap. "When did you two hand me this..."  
  
"Somewhere," Dee's bony shoulders came up in a vague shrug before he crossed the distance and plopped himself down next to her. The bed dipping underneath his weight and Dum's, as he joined but from her other side.  
  
Lucy finally voiced what was bothering her. "Why?" _Why me? Why out of all those people you spoke about? Why did you choose_ me?   
  
She looked down at her twiddling thumbs, the print on the sheet covers wrinkled between her knuckles.   
  
Dee bumped his shoulders with hers, a spot of warmth at her side. Dum took the bottle from her, popping open the lid when it was obvious she'd drag this out. She was shocked when she saw Dum inhale the bottle--though her worries about it being poison were abated.  
  
That is, before his hand reached up and clamped down her collar. She immediately shoved at him, but couldn't stop the mouth from descending to her own. What was this sudden genre twist!?   
  
"It's because ___," she heard the other brother croon as the liquid from the bottle trickled down in her throat, the kiss forced on her all for this. Her blood started thundering through her veins, defrosting the leftover chill.   
  
"Let go off me!" She tried spitting out the liquid, but Dum pinched her nose instead. His elbows was digging into her hip, it was very uncomfortable, but she just struggled all the more. Hitting and kicking and bucking for all she was worth.   
  
Then, once Lucy had swallowed the mouthful, Dum finally removed himself from her body, the bottle swinging between his fingers. There was only a trickle inside off it; only a drop, when there should be more. She hadn't drunken that much, and spitting it out hadn't worked.   
  
"Magic?"   
  
"Yes," Dee said, and didn't move closer while she shoved herself the total opposite end of the bed. His face was one of mature understanding and she wanted to collide into it with her fist. "Now you can't leave. This bottle will keep you here, so you'll never leave."   
  
His brother, his clothes disheveled from the struggle, dangled the bottle between his fingers. The look in his eyes chilled her to her spine as he observed it. "Again and again. It's a rule."  
  
With that, the atmosphere in the room relaxed again and Dee gave her the bottle as "a momento", sending her off with an uniformed woman with instructions to give her a room.  
  
Lucy breathed her relief at no longer being in the same room as them and sedately followed behind her. One last thought was in her mind, a conclusion drawn from much evidence. __  
  
Children, my ass. She practically collapsed before her head even hit her pillow.

The next day, Lucy hugged closer to the cornerstone, sharpening her ears for footsteps. Nobody was walking the hallway at the moment. Apparently the servants were involved in other work (as mafia, she had no doubt their work was something sordid) and there was no sign of Dee and Dum.

So far so good.

Taking her first cautious step around the corner, she began prowling in inches her way across the darkly wine coloured carpet, her body tense like a tightrope so if she saw anyone she’d be able to make a clean getaway in moments.

Lucy hadn’t been told to stay in her room until the twins wanted to see her, but she hadn’t needed to be told. It was obvious that whatever the twins wanted to do, their boss was on their side and not hers.

This was her first escape attempt. Hopefully the last.

The mansion was actually bigger than she’d expected. And dumber, in its selection of decorations. Seriously, hat wallpaper? The mafia family may be called the hatter, but that didn’t mean hat logos had to be printed on just about everything owned.

Since the maid who’d escorted her had led her to a room pretty deep inside the mansion, she was finding it difficult to navigate her way out again. Oh, or that just may be her deplorable sense of direction at large again. Still, though, she’d only spent about five minutes prowling, so more likely she was just being impatient.

Lucy grimaced. _Especially with this snail’s pace._ Couldn’t be helped, since she had to make her utter best sure the coast was clear before she could move on from the spot.

Sending the hallway a sharp glance, taking meticulous care to scrutinize the closed doors (fancy mahogany ones too. How classy for a mafia base) and the twists and turns in the distance, she scuttled half way down the floor. This repeated a couple of times, until when turning the corner---

Lucy swore,“..SON OF A—“

“It’s drooly sis!”

“Drooly sis drooly sis!”

Stopping what they had been doing (holding a person without a face— _what—_ up by his collar and sticking their axes in said face) the two kids turned to her.

 _They were children again,_ she noted in the back of her mind. The front was too busy spewing out all the swearwords in the world that she hadn’t done like earlier and hid behind the cornerstone before going further in, _like a dumbass._ Her breathing was picking up and with it came the adrenaline spike that made her knees so wobbly.

Dum threw himself at her still holding onto the pole of his axe and she squeezed her eyes shut. The joined impact with Dee strew the three of them against the carpeted floor. Lucy blinked her eyes open again, noting _at least I’m not dead._ She’d been half convinced that had been her death sentence, but it seemed it wasn’t going to be as easy as that. _Is it bad that I’m somewhat looking forwards to it?_

At least it would put her out of her misery.

“Hey hey, did you have a good sleep?” Dee asked her, the demon child not bothered with their position on the floor. Sensing this was his chance, the turtlenecked man without a face picked himself up and rushed away, turning his back on them in the process.

Without even looking, Dum pitched his axe into the man’s direction and it cleaved through the air, spinning hypnotically. _Twack--_

_“YAAAAHHHH!”_

\---the axe hit it’s target.

Lucy felt cold sweat trickle down her neck. _The man’s leg...the man’s leg---!_

 _“_ Hey,” Dum pouted, pushing at her clothes, “Pay attention to us, not that man.”

A scowl sliced across Dee’s face too, and he mimicked his brother. “Correct, brother. We’re right in front of you, sis. Don’t look at something that’s not us when we’re right here.”

“.... _my_ _leg....I, I’m...losing so much blood!”_

The two devils continued smiling innocently at her in the backdrop of the man’s trauma.

“Brother and I even stopped what we we’re doing...even though we like it so much.”

Dee nodded fervently in agreement with his brother’s words.

For some reason, Lucy was reminded of that little song they’d been singing right before they’d landed. The Bloody Twins. Looking at the aftermath of the brother’s mess, for all they hadn’t gotten blood on their clothes, she could very much believe it.

The man’s knee was red like liquorice, butchered from the knee downwards. The axe still pinned him in place, and he was letting out pained cries like a lamb in a slaughterhouse. It was a disgusting but surprisingly vivid image. She could even see something white in the midst of all that flesh. _Bone._

Dee sighed. “You really won’t be able to pay attention. How borin~g.”

Drawing the last sentence out, he tipped his head back and shared a look with his brother, before the both of them flicked their hands at her dismissively.

“.....um?” _They were letting her go...no, right?_ Not these crazy brothers.

“Brother and I are busy right now....let’s play later on, okay?”

Her muscles almost instantly jellified in her relief, and before they could change their minds, she crawled to a stand and legit ran from them down the hallway.

Distantly, she heard a hum which could be from either brother. . “...Now what should we do to have you make it up for us? Oh, I know—“

She turned the corner, and the sound thankfully became too remote for her to hear. Her limbs losing all their power, she crumpled to the floor. Right at the twins’ mafia boss’s feet. Lucy didn’t even bother moving this time.

Blood said politely, “Good morning, young miss.” He tipped his hat at the crumpled mess at his feet, and Lucy had the distinct feeling the man’s greeting was sarcasm.

“Yes, and a good morning to you..” she repeated back weakly, before her beaten and battered survival instinct dragged her to a stand. She smoothed down the creases she was slowly accumulating in her top.

An abrupt question left her lips before she could snare it, “Is there some way I could leave?”

Like a magical potion, or a prayer to recite, or maybe a pair of magical heels she’d have to click twice. Anything was fine. _Anything._

“Of course, miss. Just walk out the door.” Saying so, the man turned on his heels and pointed where he’d come from. And indeed, to her salvation, like angels trumpeting in heaven, she could see an entrance that was familiar to her from when she’d first been escorted in.

“....That, wasn’t actually what I meant though.”

Of course, she wasn’t disatisfied. She had wanted to leave this mansion— _especially now I know what true psychos those twins are,_ she thought to herself offhand and met the mafia boss’s eyes. But even if she left this mansion, she didn’t know where she was. And if this world was filled by people like the twins, she would end up defenseless. _For all their flaws, the twins seem to like me._ Like a child likes its toys.

“But I’m not ungrateful,” she finished. “Thank you for showing me the exit.” _It means he’ll let me leave._

“Before you go,” the boss voiced, velvety soft, “Don’t you want to know what the outside world is like, young miss?”

_Annnnd there’s the catch._

She sent him a scrutinizing look, which he endured patiently. His expression didn’t even twitch. “Okay,” she finally said, “That would be nice of you to do, thanks.”

From there, she got an more thorough explanation about the world the twins were trapping her in. Apparently the world was a game, and as a game it had rules. He didn’t go into much detail about the rules, except say they can sometimes be broken, which made sense since even rules weren’t always black and white in her own world. The game he, or the hatter mansion played, was the game of territory, which two other territories (a castle’s queen and an amusement park owner) were in combat over with.

Since she’d ended up here, he said, she was an outsider. An outsider is not part of the game of territory but plays a separate game. It’s the game about whether to stay or not.

She latched onto that immediately, saying excitedly, “I can go home? I can!?”

“Our gatekeepers informed me you didn’t have a home. You still want to go back?” He asked her, affecting surprise. She felt it was too probing to be honest interest, though.

She let out a breath and run a hand down her bobbed hair. “For all that it was shitty, at least there aren’t devil children there who,” she sucked in a breath, “Butcher people casually like that. So yeah, I do believe I prefer my home to _this_.”

He smiled without lowering his eyebrows. “I think you’ll find you’ll grow to like this world once a suitable time has passed. And understand that for however rambuctious our gatekeepers are, they don’t truly mean you any harm, young miss.”

Her own eyebrows flew to her forehead. “You say that when they kidnapped me?”

“They gave you a home. One you’re perfectly welcome to walk in and out off.”

She understood he was referring to how he’d so casually pointed out the exit for her. And if he’d been there, probably also at how easily Dum and Dee had let her off the hook when she’d been so scared in the hallway.

She had a lot to think about, she decided, and nodded her head curteously at the mafia boss. “Thank you.” For all his lethargy, to think he’d be willing to alley her fears like this. He was more dependable than he seemed.

“It was no trouble.”

He tipped his hat with that parting shot, and left round the corner.

He still could’ve put in the effort not to sound like every word he drew from his lips with painstacking effort. Lucy herself would never be able to achieve such a sluggish way of speaking, it was too out there.

Nevertheless, without her conscious notice, he’d somehow calmed her down. Really, what a dependable boss.

That morning....

Wakey-wakey!" Said a voice as bright and blinding as her room was with the curtains thrown open. So it would seem that for all Blood had hinted at freedom, her room could still be stormed if that was what her kidnappers truly wanted, huh..?

Lucy turned around in her bed, confident her kidnappers wouldn't be able to see anything with her night dress on, and grumbled something.

"We're going to go shopping," one of the terror twins called out theatrically before jumping knee forwards onto her bed.

Her voice an unfriendly pitch, she growled, "Out," and kicked at him from beneath the covers.

"Ha ha ha ha!" The blue-eyed twin she thought was named Dee laughed as he evaded them, eventually landing on the ground. - good, that went as she'd planned -He bowed to signal the end of the show.

Lucy smoothed back her matted hair. "What's the reason you two want me to come with shopping, exactly?"

"You just came here as you are, drooly sis. You need to get clothes and other items."

"Clothes aren't as much a necessity though," Dee observed. "Wonderland cleans and repairs your things every few time changes."

Lucy sat up, running another hand through her hair. "Uh, before that. You guys..have a bathroom, right?"

They shared a conspiring look.

The bathroom, when she arrived there, was less of one and more of a sauna. Or if she wanted to be Japanese, a hot springs. It looked downright luxurious, and after sleeping out in the rough for so long, Lucy was itching to try it.

Only the fact that she was burning daylight prevented her from doing so. After all, with Wonderland as it was, there was no certainty the sky would stay that doughy shade of cinnamon banana. She'd rather shop during the daylight, thank you very much.

Instead, she took a quick shower at the stalls at the edges of the room and then walked with the twins outside.

On her way, she cropped up the courage to finally ask something shed been wondering about. "About that man who you axed-is he alright?" He's not dead, is he?

"Hm? Oh him. There's already a replacement for him," Dee replied, a sugar won't melt in my mouth look on his face. Don't try and be so innocent, she narrowed her eyes at him. I know who you are.

Besides-replacement? Lucy wasn't going to jump to conclusions, but it sounded sinister.

Dum, at her other side, removed his hand from the back of his head to flap it dismissively. "Yeah, replacement. Don't worry. He's as good as new like all our other playmates."

She did not let up from her stare, trying to prick holes into the boys' story. But just like hers, their looks-of angelic innocence-did not fade.

Finally she had to look away and look down at her moving feet. "Okay, fine. Whatever." Maybe she didn't want to know what that meant, and maybe that's why she was giving in so easily, but Lucy liked the idea of plausible deniability. So she acted like she no longer cared.

The town the brothers led her to was relatively humble in size. There was a market-place--nonchalantly ignored by the brothers as they brought her to one of the clothe stores at the sides of the street instead--and the citizens out and about the street were up and large staring at them with knifes in their eyes.

Lucy guessed a reason for it. "Is this a town your boss only recently added to your territory?" She asked.

"Not at all, its one of the better defended ones. Why?" Replied Dee, visibly enjoying himself.

Then the people had no excuse for the fear and resentment in their wide eyed gazes, she didn't say. No reason to notify them if they didn't notice.

She rolled her shoulders back in a faux nonchalant shrug and said, "No reason."

Dees intense blue eyes stayed on her before she could sense him discarding his care and flicking them away.

Lucy almost slumped forwards in relief.

She resumed flicking through the carts for clothes to choose instead.

These were some of her favorite things: Skirts, tunics, low falling short sleeve shirts and shorts to accompany them. Since they were paying, she bought them all. Then socks, underwear, towels, bed sheets and toiletries joined the list.

"You think we'd put guests in dirty bed sheets," Dum complained while peeking over her shoulder at what she was buying. She has to admit, that was likely not the case, but individualizing her bedroom lit up a warm glow in the centre of her chest. So she was doing it anyway. 

Lucy afterwards went to investigate the other territories, and see whether they were all as violent and terrifying as the Hatter’s.

If they weren’t, maybe she could find shelter elsewhere? After all, even if the twins didn’t personally have it out for her as they did others, she still didn’t think staying was a good idea. They _had_ taken her from her own world without permission, even if what she’d had wasn’t exactly a home.

Thinking back to her old park bench, she let her face warp into a grimace. Shaking her head, she continued down the path from the mansion.

The countryside held buildings at the side of the footpath, making it easy for the occupants to walk up to the mansion, or reach the end of the Hatter’s territory. She didn’t know exactly when she crossed into the amusement park until the park’s entrance caught her eye. Whimsically coloured and shaped weirdly, the entrance gave of a playful appeal. Lucy’s eyes trailed especially over the pink markings on the side of the gate. They made it look almost like candy.

A stream of people were walking in and out, attracting her attention. Lucy absently looked over them, wondering whether she’d need a ticket to enter the amusement park, when—

“....uh, what?”

There were no faces. None of them had any faces. Not even one. Lucy let her gaze zoom in to a boy wearing a capped hat, holding securely onto his father’s hand, and saw lines which were the beginnings of a nose, a mouth, eyes. But those were the only descriptions she saw. If she were to actually elaborate on the face, she wouldn’t know where to start.

Like the servants at the Hatter’s mansion, these people didn’t have faces.

A blink. She saw the man holding the boy, his face fuzzy to her eyes. A blink. She saw a couple walking hand in hands, faces indistinguishable. Blink. A snapshot of yet another faceless. Blink. The whole group, faces stolen.

Blink blink blink, shutter, snap. Lucy felt heavy. Heavy. Her feet were glued to the concrete, so she couldn’t flee either. Shivers ran up and down her back, and quivering she clasped her hands together and rubbed them firmly to get rid of the chill. Heavy. Her thoughts were going slow, like they were stuck in tar.

_Scary. I’m scared._

Round and round in circles. She couldn’t think.

_So scary...._

“...Oya oya, what’re you doing freaking out over here?”

Suddenly, a voice? The bush beside her rustled like someone moved there, and when Lucy craned her neck to look, she saw that was the case. A boyish looking teen sat crouched next to her, the soft lines of his face turned inquiring at her.

Two cat ears twitched on top of his head, pierced with golden ornaments which resembled fish and other cat like features. His outfit taste was outlandish, including a blank tanktop and skirt, both with pink accents, and to top it all off, he wore a poofy pink boa over his shoulders. Golden shackles went down from his collar, attaching to his wrists. And finally, a swishing dark purple tail.

The cat boy smirked underneath her regard, almost preening, before continuing where he left off. “You have fun at the amusement park, not cower in terror. Won’t you come out behind these bushes? I won’t bite.”

With a twinkle in his eye, the cat boy reached out for her hand.

“....”

Mutely, Lucy let him help her up.

_I don’t even know anymore._

Again, she let her eyes feast over his face. _A face. A face?_ But why did he have a face, when so many others didn’t?

A face with angular features, a small nose, and wide almost compelling eyes. She could see it clearly.

As he tugged her along into the amusement park gate, Lucy continued pondering.

 _Now that I think of it,_ Blood also had a face, as did the twins. It went without saying that she herself also had a face. She’d seen it reflected in the mirror before, hadn’t she?

Even in this world, she was still herself.

Listening to him excitedly talk about the new attractions open to the public, she thought to herself, _then what’s the problem?_

She already knew this place didn’t run on her old world logic. Otherwise, the twins wouldn’t have chosen her out of who many people to kidnap. Since it was her, after all. Also, Blood wouldn’t have so easily allowed her stay inside his mansion. People just didn’t do that; there was a _reason_ she’d been living on a park bench for all this time.

Moreover, she thought, looking at her companion’s twitching cat ears: people also weren’t part animal back in her own world, exempting cosplay. _I have a feeling those are real, though._ Her fingers itched with the desire to test them out, but she stopped herself with a harsh reminder, _this is a stranger—personal space._

Even if he was someone she knew, touching someone else so intimately like that wasn’t done except if you had permission. So she’d definitely not touch those ears. _Hhh, I really want to, though._

Thankfully, the cat boy cut her of before she could lament it much, “Now that I think of it, I haven’t introduced myself yet have I? My name is Boris. I’m the Cheshire Cat.”

Lucy tilted her head to the side, a lock of red hair falling onto her shoulder from her ponytail. “Lucy is my name. What does being a Cheshire Cat mean?”

Nimbly evading the other people on the footpath, Boris boasted, “A Cheshire Cat is a very unique thing, you know? There’s a lot of people who beg me to help them with my skills as a Cheshire Cat. But I don’t accept everyone’s requests~ Only those I want to since I don’t have much spare time, so many people asking me for help!”

Lucy made sure to keep her attention on him and hum in agreement throughout the speech. _If I look around, I’ll notice them again._ The faceless people.

“Does that mean that, as a Cheshire Cat, you’re very high ranked? In the game, I mean...”

Sounding almost insulted, he quickly agreed that this was the case.

Trying to sound casual, Lucy voiced, “High enough that it wouldn’t really be any sweat on your back to take on a freeloader, maybe?” His doubting look made her hurry on, “out of charity, I mean. Like, if this person happened to have been dragged into this world by two psychotic brothers...?” _Haha,_ _I’m not talking about me now. Purely hypothetical! But, hypothetially?_ She finished in her mind, not daring to say it out loud.

Boris’s wide eyes had become fixed upon her in her own speech, much like hers had his earlier. _But did my eyes really look that...positively mischievious?_ The pupils in his purple eyes elongating to fill the iris, she felt like she was under surveillance by a predator. Which was a ridiculous and mean thought, especially since he’d tried cheering her up so much, _after he found me in the bushes like that.._

Finally, he reacted. “....pffft.”

Lucy cocked her head. _He’s laughing?_

“Pfft, puhahaha! Hahaha! That’s too hilarious, ah, my sides.” Indeed, like he’d said, he was bent over forwards, holding onto his sides. “Haha! Too funny! You really don’t know.” He snorted, and slowly she started to frown.

_Am I being made a fool of?_

Merrily, the Cheshire Cat continued laughing, and Lucy turned to look whether people were watching them. But nobody spared them a glance, which was good, because she’d almost forgotten that she was avoiding their faces.

 _Forgotten?_ After her breakdown earlier on?

_I’d somehow forgotten?_

_Isn’t that very strange?_

Still laughing, but less harshly, Boris wiped at his eyes with the bottom of the palm of his hands.

“You do know that I’m nothing but a freeloader myself? I live freely, wandering where ever and whenever I want to, and play around a lot. That’s basically all I do. Ah! But don’t forget that I am the Chesire Cat, okay? That wasn’t a lie.”

Boris grinned friendly at her, like acknowledging a fellow leech on society.

“....”

Sighing loudly, Lucy resisted valiantly the urge to face-palm. Truly, she was the hero the amusement park had, not the hero it needed. Then she resisted the urge to face-palm herself at that reference. _I really am going crazy._

Boris continued grinning at her, not put off by her continued silence. “But hey, it does look like you don’t know anything that’s common sense to this place. Could it be....”

She gulped. Had she already somehow unmasked her foreigner status?

“...This is your first visit to the amusement park?”

“....”

Once again, Lucy was struck mute. _That’s good...I guess._ Then why did she feel disappointed?

Enough chit-chatting around. She had to ask him, for the sake of her continued existence. She turned to face him head-on.

He commented on her change in demeanor, “What’s with that serious face? I was wrong?”

She nodded strongly. “Actually, I didn’t really want to say this, but...” _Your behaviour somehow puts me at ease. Are you magic?_ No, that wasn’t what she wanted to say, _though true._ He patiently waited for her to come to the point.

“What I really wanted to say...was...” Lucy repeated herself, doubt stirring up in her heart again. _This person is just a stranger. Trusting strangers led you in this predicament to begin with. Can you really do this?_

“I get it.” The cat boy’s rough voice gentled. “You wanted to say you’re an outsider, right? I fooled around too much I think. Sorry.”

“....so you did know!”

The murmuring of the crowd nothing but static, he repeated himself. “Sorry. You just look very fun to pester, so I couldn’t help it.”

 _I see._ So he’d known she was an outsider from the very start. That being the reason he’d helped her from the bushes. Because she was an outsider, for that reason.

Her own voice roughened at the realization, “...Are outsiders really that interesting?” To the point where Dee and Dum had felt the need to kidnap her from her own world, rather than take some other girl from this place. She doubted it’d been that easy for them to get to her world after all.

“If we’re speaking outsiders in general? A myth goes around this place that outsiders are always very fun, so it’s said. Enough that anyone who meets them falls straight into love, no exceptions.”

Absentmindly, the cat boy explained.

Lucy scraped her shoe against the concrete. _That still doesn’t explain Dee and Dum’s actions._ Like they’d said, they showed up in her world, so they could’ve easily taken with them any other girl. (Or boy, if it was just the fact that they were outsiders which was important).

Instead, they’d chosen someone like Lucy. And knowing the bit she knew about their personalities, they weren’t for charity, so just because she had no home wasn’t the reason they’d taken her.

“....”

Lucy shut her eyes, moving her hands to the sides of her head. _Hurts._

Thinking so much like this was hurting, like someone’d taken a cattle prod and was scrambling her brains with it. _If you don’t understand it, you should just accept it. Aren’t you here right now? If you can’t leave, then there’s nothing to do_ but _accept,_ said her mind.

 _That’s right._ If she couldn’t leave anyway, than did it matter what Dee and Dum’s intentions for bringing her were? _Don’t think._ Knowing them wouldn’t change anything, so she could just live like this, without thinking.

“Lucy?”

Boris’s concerned voice brought her back into the moment. Lucy blinked at the space behind Boris. Somehow, while she’d been busy internalizing, the sky had turned...dark?

When she mentioned it to Boris, he shrugged his shoulders. “Oh that? That’s normal. You really don’t know when the surrounding area will turn dark or even light.” He winked at her. “Darkness is the best though. Isn’t the park pretty all lit up like this?”

At his words, she took in her surroundings. The stalls which still lined the footpaths, the attractions whose beeping lights now stood out even next to the outlandish buildings.

“...pretty. “

Boris purred, his eyes curving upwards happily at the word.

A world where children who kidnapped outsiders could turn into adults, where cat boys frolicked in amusement parks filled with people with no faces, and were time itself was all winky wonky. That was this world: Wonderland.

Lucy wondered absently to herself, _can I really get used to some place like this?_ Looking in the face of the Cheshire Cat who’d taken such delight in making her a fool, and thinking of Blood who’d so kindly lent his house to her, Lucy found her own lips curving.

 _Either way,_ she felt a premonition rise. _It sure is going to be one heck of a ride._

End.


	2. Clamont

### Chapter two: Accept it.  


When she went back, Blood was coincidentally also at the door.

“Oh, so the young miss did come back.” Saying so, not even one muscle in Blood face twitched, showing he wasn’t actually surprised.

Lucy felt a bit sheepish all of a sudden and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. “W, well....I didn’t say I was definitely going right?” And muttered underneath her breath, “Also, the friend I made is already a freeloader of his place. I can’t exactly insist on staying with him.”

“That description sounds familiar.. You wouldn’t be talking about the Cheshire Cat, by any chance?” Blood inquired politely.

Lucy scratched the back of her hair. “So you guessed I went to the amusement park. Or is it you knew I’d not want anything to do with.” She paused here, lowering her gaze, and not finishing her sentence. _It feels discriminatory, saying I didn’t want to be in the presence of those people without faces._

She looked over the hat wallpapered space of the corridor for any servants. _Come to think of it, the people here, exempting Blood and his lot, were also faceless._

Blood smiled curtly underneath his hat. “Nobody else is at that place who meets that description.” Face mock earnest, he went on, “I didn’t say that before?”

_He’s giving me an out, isn’t he._

In that case, why not graciously accept? “That’s right, you did.”

Tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear, she mirrored the mafia bosses’ smile. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

With a nod of her head, she went to squeeze past the gap in between the wall and Blood’s shoulder.

“Ask Elliot in the garden were the kitchens are,” Blood called after her and she waved at him to show she understood. Turning on her heel, Lucy hurried on down the labyrinthic corridors.

She slowed down once she got to the garden’s entrance, and peeked out of the glass door. An orange-haired (bunny eared?) man was munching greedily at the orange coloured tart in front of him. Unlike Blood, this man actually looked like a proper mobster: he had the lean, muscled body and rough dressing style of a thug.

Lucy made a face and moved her hands from the glass. She’d almost rather ask a servant, but she hadn’t come across any on her way here, so she felt they were probably busy with other things.

But she was hungry after doing all that walking and playing with Boris. _Nothing to it._ Placing her hand on the door knob, she opened the way to the outside.

The excited voice of the bunny-eared mobster met her there.

“Blood!” he called out, “You did want the orange tart after all? I knew you did, come over and eat your fi—iiiil?”

He ended up stopping mid-sentence, taking in the fact that it wasn’t Blood, but a woman, standing in the doorframe. The woman who was not Blood, _obviously._

Waving at him, grass snapping underneath her flats, she walked over.

Firstly, she apologised for her existence, “Sorry to disappoint. I’m just Lucy, who your gatekeepers dragged here from my world. Blood sent me to ask you were the kitchens were?” _Even though he could have easily directed me himself, now that I think of it._

“That can’t be. I couldn’t have mixed Blood up with someone else. That can’t be!” the man cried at those words. “If I can’t even do that for Blood, what sort of second in command am I!?”

She watched on as the man’s rabbit ears drooped and a gloomy aura gathered thickly around him, shattering her impression of him as a scary mobster.

 _I can’t believe it._ She side-eyed him. _Were the twins really the only scary people here?_ Then there were also the faceless, almost bringing her into a mental breakdown back at the amusement park.

The man wailed, “Blood!” and “Forgive me!” and other assorted effusive demands for forgiveness.

She was struck with a sudden understanding. _Perhaps that’s why Blood wanted me to come here? So I could see for myself that this place isn’t as scary as it seems?_ Elliot, if that was this rabbit’s name, really didn’t give of an intimidating aura. She returned her gaze to the yellow ammo belt wrapped around his shoulder. _Even if he’s wearing ammo, for example, he’s not wearing a gun, and neither did he aim it at me even after mistaking me for his boss._

Even though this was obviously harshly impacting on him. Watching him like that, Lucy felt a softening of her heart.

She let it carry over to her next move.

“Wrap the tarts up.”

The man’s head jerked upwards and his eyes focused on her.

She smiled friendly at him and walked over to stand next to the round tea table. “You obviously like these tarts a lot. So since you like them, you want to share them with the person you like, right? I don’t know when Blood gets back, but I’m sure he’ll be absolutely delighted to return to a table filled with your charity.”

“...! You...” His eyes grew suspiciously shiny, his ears perking upwards in readiment. “You’re so kind...!”

She was dumbfounded at the bunny’s words and stepped back. _Wa-wa-what? Stop looking at me like that._

His shiny purple eyes looked at her like she was something to be treasured, just because she had suggested a common sense thing.

“Even though you could’ve eaten some of these cakes yourself, instead, you talked about saving some for Blood!”

His voice trembled with emotion, but she only trembled with a complete lack of understanding.

“Y-yes. I, I’m also not going to tell Blood you mistook me for him so you can let me of the hook?”

His quivering eyes were now plainly worshipful. “So- kind-!”

_Please let me of the hook! That look in your face is unfitting and plainly disturbing! Turn it on someone else!_

But as he continued gazing dazzingly at her in his joy, Lucy somehow knew she’d made a very, very critical mistake. Something she couldn’t take back even if she wanted to.

Eyeing him from the corner of her eye, she bemoaned her new lot in life. _And I only wanted something to eat!_

She talked a while longer with him, before she was finally able to make her excuses and left.

Now walking up the hallway, she chirped brightly, “Now onto fo—oood?”

Lucy trailed off as she turned round the corner, met with the sight of the terror twins.

For now, the two didn’t seem to be tormenting anyone. But the image still linger on her mind’s eye.

Two sets of eyes focused on her, their hearing perfectly able to recognise who exactly was in front of them.

“Are you seeing it, brother?”

One asked the other faintly.

“I am. It’s drooly sis,” the other worryingly agreed.

They...didn’t immediately run to her? And what was up with those lackluster tones of voice?

Putting their axes down onto the wall next to them, Dum taking the lead, the two made their way in front of her before stopping inches within touching distance. She was too confused to move out of the way like her instincts were calling her to do.

Then, in a tone heavy with contrition, twin voices said, “We’re sorry.”

“If you don’t ever want to see us again, brother and I understand,” Dee lamenated.

Dum agreed. “We told you such a lie, and then Dee and I even hurt someone in front of you in jealousy.”

 _A... lie?_ “What lie?”

Lucy wasn’t understanding this, but it seemed they were trying to make amends for scaring her? But that was the most important part of this scene. _What had they been lying about?_ Hope fluttered in her chest like a butterfly. _Could it be--?_

And the two soon proved her right.

“The bottle brother and I fed you doesn’t keep you here. It was so that, coming here, you’d eventually be able to leave.”

“....!”

Lucy caught herself by the wall, her knees growing weak with relief. Heart hammering in her chest, she let the words just been said sink in.

 _Be able to leave._ Lucy could...she’d be able to return, in the end? _Be able to leave!_

She felt so, so.... _so...huh. . . . ?_

Her heart was still hammering in her chest, but now it was almost painful. Wincing, she lifted a palm to her head.

... _Huh? That’s...it’s a good thing._

Why then, did she feel so wrong? Why did it feel like a prenomition of doom rather than relief?

 _It’s supposed to be a good thing!_ It didn’t make sense!

But, she realized, the problem was..no matter how much she begged or pleaded, this was reality. And now, outside of her will, she was going to go home. Before, she didn’t have the choice to come here or not, and now again, she didn’t have the choice to stay rather than leave.

Always, her feet were stuck in quick sand, crystallized in one moment, unable to make a change. She could never change, just accept. If she didn’t accept it, she’d go down screaming. Like she’d accepted her eventual homelessness, because ever since that day-

_Stop, don’t think._

The voice echoed from what felt like a deep hole, an emptiness.

_Just accept._

That’s right. It didn’t matter that her circumstances hadn’t changed, she should just-

“Drooly sis!”

A word said out of concern snapped her back into the moment. Fuzzily, she shook her head, the thoughts she’d been thinking dispersing into thin air.

_What was I..?_

“Drooly sis?” Dum asked, and while she’d been sunken into thought, he’d moved forwards and was clutching to the sleeve of her arm, Dee mirrored opposite him.

“..Ugh!” Lucy jolted backwards, flailing her arms to get rid of their grips. The two, like leeches, remained stubbornly stuck to her. “Ya-“

Tripping over her own feet, she sprawled onto the carpet for the so many-th time. “O, owww.” She made herself sit up, rubbing her delicate back.

Dum, immediately worried, called out, “Drooly sis, are you okay?” He manouvered himself around her so he was positioned behind her, as Dee crawled of off her.

Before she could tell him not to touch her, he’d already lifted up the back of her shirt and was checking the spot.

“Wa-wa-wa-waiiit!”

Immediately, a red flush sped over her cheeks and she clutched the front of her shirt to her stomach so she wasn’t accidentally flashing Dee. _Even then, they could see my bra,_ she thought in historics.

“Hm~ It doesn’t look like you fractured anything.”

Commenting so, she felt Dum’s warm hand press onto her back.

She gasped, “Stop!”

“Hm?” Dee, who’d been watching on since his brother had first moved, finally took notice of her protest.  

“Brother,” he said, aimed this time at Dum, “I think Lucy doesn’t think we’re trustworthy. Let’s switch to adults so she’ll be able to depend on us.”

Lucy wanted to cry. _That’d make it even more inappropriate! At least now I can act as if you two are just unwitting!_

“You’re right, brother, anything for Lucy,” Dum concluded, and without any regard for what she wanted, they switched, and the terror twin’s hand grew an adult’s size. His hand was a reassuring weight on the back of her shoulders, and she flushed harder.

 _Awawawawa~_ Someone could fry an egg on her skin, if they wanted to. _This is crazy! What are these two even doing!_

She’d already forgotten all about what had led up to here.

“...This is boring.”

Eventually, Dee grew bored of just being a spectator.

“Want to take my place?” Dum chirruped with an undertone of laughter. Now he’d seen for himself she wasn’t hurt, he was cheerful again and was enjoying the contact.

The man’s blue-eyed counterpart shook his head, a mist of black green hair flying before settling down again. Without further exchange of words, Dee slid into her lap and settled his hands on the bared skin of her sides (which she hadn’t been able to cover with her shirt despite best attempts).

Lucy hiccuped her surprise. “....!”

His hands also were warm, and gently fitted around her skin. He only rested them there rather than move them, which was good as she’d otherwise think _screw trying to keep my modesty,_ slacken her grip on her shirt and push him off.

But if the twins was satisfied with just this...that wasn’t too bad. She was already slowly getting accustomed to it, her flush dying down.

“So will you forgive us?” Dum asked, referring back to them trying to make amends.

“We won’t hurt anyone in front of you anymore,” Dee supported, and touched his forehead against hers.

He was so close, it was making her poetic. Lucy thought in wonderment, _how blue are his eyes that go on forever like a morning’s sky._

And what they’d said before, that she’d been chosen out of so many, and how Blood had spoken about how she didn’t have a home. Because they liked her, they had taken her to Wonderland and given her a home.

Really?

Was that honestly the truth?

They didn’t have any other motive?

Lucy didn’t want to think. She didn’t want to have to guess these two’s intent, it was exhausting.

Putting aside the fact that they hurt people, could she at least trust them not to hurt her? That they genuinely liked her? _If that’s true, I might accept even the fact that others are getting hurt._

But even thinking that was a dangerous thing. It was accepting responsibility, but letting them go ahead and hurt people anyway.

As always, regardless of the truth, Lucy was powerless to act in any other way. Only accept.

“...okay.”

Thus said, the twins peered at her first like they couldn’t believe it, before looking at each other over her shoulder with widening, relieved smiles.

They wrapped around her, coocooning her in warmth from either side. Lucy still felt torn. But she didn’t hate them, and to be honest, the home she’d had couldn’t even be called one.

Regardless of what she felt for the twins, she was here now, and was already starting to get to know people.

Wonderland was good. This was one truth she knew.

She stayed there with the twins for a while longer, before they led her to the kitchen.

Later.

“Young miss!” The door slammed, Blood dramatically sweeping in like a pissed of cat.  

Lucy, stopping munching from where she was sitting on the dining table, looked patiently up at him. “....?”

“What’s up boss?” the terror twins (who hadn’t left her alone since) chorused.

Blood’s voice was wobbly with trauma. “The, the orange. Ghk.” He moved his hand in front of his mouth.“I feel like I’m going to vomit...”

Lucy, putting her plate down, leaned away from him, but Blood reached over and gripped her by her shoulders before she could. It almost felt like he was using her as support.

Blood’s eyes were faintly wild where they connected with hers. “You don’t know the life I’ve led. All those carrots...for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner, for snacks. Orange tarts, orange batons, orange cuisine.”

“Sis, what did you do?” Dee’s voice came from the side.

Ignoring him, Blood, the broken man, said tremblingly, “You don’t know the fear of carrot dishes day in day out, night after night after night, over the course of thousand of time turns. Please,” he begged, “Next time you convince Elliot to share his meals with me: don’t.”

His hands shook her briefly. “Please,” he repeated, “don’t.”

Numbly, Lucy stared at the shell of what had once been a dignified mafia boss and came to the realization, _wow, he really has been traumatized hasn’t he?_ She tried to picture it, living day by day on carrot dishes alone. The picture her mind created was a nousiating one.

 _And I caused this to happen?_ It was only right that Lucy apologise! Properly cowed, she bowed her head and swore, “I’m sorry. I won’t.”

“Good.” Voice still wobbling, Blood released her, turned robotically on his heel, and strode out in much the same way he entered.

Wishing him the best, she watched him go.

The twins started gniffling there after.

“What a prank! What a fun situation, sis!”

“If only we’d been there! That look on Boss’s face-!”

“Kyhahaha!”

 _Well, glad to see at least someone is getting some fun from this situation._ Lucy sighed, staring at her face reflected in her plate.

Obviously, Dee noticed. “What’s wrong, Lucy? Are my brother and I boring you?”

“Do we need to give you some entertainment?” Dum pondered, and she suddenly felt like she was under the gaze of two sharks.

Lucy still remembered their ‘entertainment’ from before and hurriedly denied, “No, really, it’s okay. I’m sufficiently entertained right now.”

Dee tilted his head, from where he was sitting opposite her on the table. “I feel like Lucy’s telling a lie, brother.”

“I have to agree with you on that, Dee.”

The red-eyed child of the siblings pondered the matter some more.

“Ah!”

Hitting the centre of his palm with his fist, he seemed to have hit on sudden inspiration. “Lucy, Lucy, have you gone to the other territories yet?” He asked excitedly, and his brother seemed to catch on.

“We’ll give you a super~ special~ tour around Wonderland. How does that sound, sis?”

 _Her opinion, well..._ “Coming from you two, it sounds very suspicious,” she flat out declined.

Dee turned so she could see the impish edge of the grin on his face. “Then that must mean sis wants to continue where we le-“

Panicking, she turned it around, “No! No! A tour sounds perfect!”

“Hm~ alright then. It’s decided!” the sadist said, with a satisfied air.

 _Ah, thank god._ Just in the nick of time, she’d cut of the head of that snake. Which was good, since she didn’t want anything to happen like earlier today; she didn’t want to look weak in front of the twins and besides, she didn’t have a relationship with them which would allow such intimacy to begin with.  

That was her story and she was sticking to it.

“We’re going to have to do that tomorrow. I’m beat, so I’m going back to bed.”

The next morning, they went on their tour, unsurprisingly starting with the same territory the twins and her were already on.

“Bored~”

But since the territory only contained the houses for the servants working at the manner, and some plantlife, they steered quickly towards the Castle of Hearts territory instead.

They passed the time in small talk until they got there.

“So what should I be expecting about the Castle of hearts?” Lucy pondered as she strolled down the footpath.

“Hmmm. There’s the faceless shoulders and maids. They’re always fun to torment. And the roleholders there... Ace won’t be there, hopefully,” Dee answered, sticking his tongue out in distaste.

Lucy halted, sending the twins a side glance. “You two do know... I don’t exactly want to see anyone being tormented, right?”

Dum complained at that, “Lucy is boring.”

“We were supposed to have fun, right? How is that any fun!?” Dee nodded furiously in solitarianism.

“You two were the ones to suggest a tour.” She looked at them doubtingly. “Blame yourselves.”

“Heh heh, well, if there does end up being trouble....” one of the terror twin whispered as they started moving again.

“Sis can’t blame us,” the other finished.

She glanced at them again, seeing they were absorbed in their own world. _I can hear you two, you know?_ She sighed, but decided ignoring them for now was the better part of discretion.

If they did indiscriminately slaughter people, she’d just have to go back to avoiding them. It _would_ show her that they were without good points after all. It was that simple.

Lucy stubbornly ignored the tiny prickle of disappointment in her chest at the thought of ignoring these two. It was ridiculous to even listen to, an emotional reaction when she should still be chilled to her bones in their presence. They were kidnapping, murderous, shape-shifting children after all. That was all they really were.

 _But they care for me._ She could count on one hand the people who did that and still have fingers left over. A rare thing, someone actually caring for her of all people. Caring for the her who was so adapt at ruining her own chances in life. No, at downright ruining her life.

Watching the two twins excitedly narrate the many violent trips they’d taken previously to the Castle of Hearts, she thought she was really being foolish.

Nevertheless, the situation was what it was, and Lucy had never been inclined to sticking her head in the sand. _I like them, and it’s only because they like me._

“So what do you think, Lucy? Axes are obviously better than guns, right?” one of the twins asked.

“Hm? Ah, I don’t really have an opinion on that.”

They were starting to near the maze like garden in the front of the Castle of Heart’s territory.

Seeing their disheartened faces, she added. “If we’re speaking about real axes or guns. But when RPG-ing, being a warrior is best, so axes, I guess?”

Twin voices asked her, “RPG?

So there was something they didn’t know. “Short for role playing game,” she dictated with a swirl of her finger through the air. “It can be a game you play on a screen, or you can play it with people in the flesh. It’s when you role play that you’re someone else, like a warrior or a mage or whatever else you want.”

The twins for once were actually staying quiet. _Is this that interesting to them?_

“I’ve played in live action role playing games before,” she went on, rubbing the back of her head. “When we play, nobody actually gets wounded. It’s play after all. But we do act as if we’re wounded to give it more realism. Since nobody actually gets hurt but you can scratch that itch of violence you have, it’s really fun.”

“But you don’t have to role play here. You can do whatever you want.” Not comprehending her, Dee spoke up. “I’ll give you this axe,” Dum supported, and the pole of his axe scraped against the floor as he moved it towards her.

“Oh! No!”

She put her palms up, shoving the weapon away.

“Aww, but you said you liked axes better,” the red-eyed brother complained. He sighed sourly. “Okay fine, we’ll get you a gun instead, though axes are cleary superior..”

“So spoiled,” Dee commiserated.

 _These two..._ Lucy’s eyebrows started to twitch. Really, no matter how much time she’d told them already. _They’re incorrigiable, these brats._

“Oh, but Lucy doesn’t like violence.”

Finally! At least one of them remembered!

Dum tilted his head. “But then, why does she do live action roleplay?”

“Because nobody actually gets hurt,” she muttered underneath her breath.

 “Dunno!” Dee continued speaking, like he hadn’t heard. “Lucy is pretty contradictionary, right~?”

“That’s true brother. But we like her this way~”

Watching these two’s two man comedy show, Lucy tragically shook her red ponytail. _Really, really incorrigable._

They continued walking on for a moment more.

“Annnnd, we’re here!” Dee suddenly called out.

And indeed, as he’d said, they made it to the entrance of the maze signifying the start of the Heart’s territory. Familiar people in soldier outfits stood guard in corners at the garden, while a woman wearing a maid outfit was tending the red roses that had been planted. It was the only flower which had been planted in the area.

“Hmm, to get through here, we’ll have to get rid of the guards first, won’t we brother?” Dum mused.

They were standing behind one of the high bushes, to avoid being seen.

“Ah, but Lucy..” Rubbing his chin with his hand, a complicated look formed on Dee’s face. Then a sudden excited light beamed from his eyes and he said, “I know! Drooly sis, why don’t you close your eyes and wait here?”

“Close my eyes,” Lucy repeated, dully.

“Oh, and it’d probably be better for you to plug your ears too. Faceless never shut up!”

And all this was said in the slightly rapt tempo of an innocent child’s voice, who couldn’t wait to share a toy with a playmate.

“Brother, let’s make sure none of the blood splatter lands on us too,” Dum said as an aside in the middle of his brother’s speech.

“Oh! Good idea! Then to sis, it really will be like nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened...I’m standing right here, listening to you both.” She sighed.

Dee turned to her. “But, you know our job right? We’re the mafia’s gatekeepers. Even if we wanted to stroll in, it’s impossible without drawing attention.”

“It’s unavoidable that it’ll come to bloodshed. Do you want Dum and I to quit our jobs, sis? Because even if you do plug your ears and hide your eyes, violence will happen. And not just by us either. Even now, Elliot and the rest of the family are fighting one of the other territories for land. And the Hatter family isn’t the only one doing this. The Game is a three-way territory fight for a reason.”

“Since nobody wants to lose, but nobody’s gonna win, violence won’t ever stop,” Dum finished almost melancholically.

“That’s why we’ll never be out of a job. Isn’t it great, brother?”

“It’s great. We’re so blessed to have such a good work place! If only Blood will give us a larger salaray...”

Grinning cheerfully, the two of them, segging into other subjects, ruined the somber atmosphere.

Lucy wasn’t even surprised.   _Well, it’s just about what I expected._

But the brothers did have a point. This world she now lived in was dangerous. Even the amusement park employees carried guns on their hip and the mafia didn’t even need to be mentioned. She was the strange one here, to want to blame the people who got used to having to hurt others and being hurt, when it was necessary to adapt to this world.

Unless she had a way of changing how this world, for now she should keep her mouth shut. This was what Lucy believed, _but after all, I want to keep at least some of my values._

If it was unecessary, wasn’t it allowed for her to ask that they keep at least some blood shed at a minimum? It couldn’t be helped where their jobs were concerned, but in this case where they were just trying to entertain her, couldn’t she expect that they give in to her wishes at least a little?

Maybe that was why she’d given these brothers a second chance. So she could see whether they’d be willing to spoil her at least this far.

 _But, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen._ Even though being violent here was unnecessary here, and she’d finally driven it in the brothers thick skulls she disliked it, they were still going to kill the guards.

Her stomach twisting, she readied herself for the inevitable truth. 

Her voice shivering, she asked, “So will you two kill those soldiers after all?”

The terror twins looked at each other against the hedge with half lidded eyes and inscrutable expressions, before Dum said lightly, “You’ll have to get used to it eventually, Lucy.”

She twisted her fingers into the branches of the hedge, and was quiet.

Whether they were aware of the tension going on inside of her or not, she didn’t know. But Dum’s red eyes were penetrative as he locked gazes with her.

“But that’s okay. We’ve got nothing but time. That ‘eventually’ doesn’t have to be now. If you want to be spoiled, then brother and I’ll do it for you. Right brother?”

Dee looked at her hard for a minute, before he released his breath in a whoosh.

“Ahh, so boring. Let’s go already.”

He reached out, taking a hold of her hand and entwining his fingers with hers.

Without another glance towards the crimson tinted garden, the terrible twin steered her onto the footpath that led back to the mansion.

It seemed, for now at least, her tour was over.

She went of to the amusement park to recuperate, but... it ended up being just as much an ordeal, but in a different way.

"Do you want to go on a rollercoaster with me?" Boris asked, his tail swishing with intent behind his back.

"No way," Lucy shot back, thinking of the previous times she'd been on rollercoasters. While back in her childhood rollercoasters and other death defying machines of its ilk where a staple, somehow after Clamont had left the visits had gotten rarer and she'd been more and more reluctant to go on them. (Or maybe it was the other way round, how should she know?)

"But that's boring!" he cried out, pride seemingly criminally offended. She wanted to tell him to shove his pride, before he came out with his explanation - "We could go play in one of the stalls lining the ground, maybe even win a prize, who knows? But that doesn't feel like you've experienced something. You can play in an arcade outside of the amusement park and do the entire same thing. You need to experience something new, something you'll remember." The cat ears on top of the man's head twitched during his tirade, which she stared at in fascination.

He held out his hand. "So are you with me?"

The ears cried out for her to say yes. Her fingers twitched by her sides with the want of it (also, the wish to stroke those ears and see whether they were truly made of fur). Lucy managed to resist the latter only with a titanicous amount of effort. The former was a battle already lost.

"Alright, I'll go with you."

Only so those cat ears of yours can do even more amusing tricks.

He grinned from ear to ear. "Fantastic."

And like that, she was fooled into following the cat boy into the preciple of the rollercoaster ride--the precipice she was now watching down from after the rails had trucked her up there. Lucy wasn't a catholic but "mother of god!" felt very fitting to say from her new vantage point. Otherwise she might have started whimpering and lose any and all credibility she had left.

 _Don't be ridiculous, that's something you never had_ , disbarring.

"Don't worry," the cat boy said as he kindly patted her knee from the seat next to her. Just like her, securely strapped to the cart by the belt which coiled over both their laps.

 

The cart tipped over. Her reply was lost in the descent that followed.

"AAAAAH!"

The cart rocketed down the railing, the up-draft shooting her hair into the air, tugging playfully at the long strands and threatening to loose them from their confines (she was still wearing her hair tie). Her stomach shot upwards with the accelaration, but outside of a flipping sensation in its pit, she'd crammed enough food in her stomach there was no feeling of nausea. And thank goodness for that.

"Whooo! This is the best! Can you taste that rush, the sonic boom? It gives me chills!" came a belated call from the boy next to her.

"Gh," was she only capable of in response, before the cart was ricocheting through the corners. The return of the "mother of god!" soon commenced.

"AAAAAH!" also made a snap comeback, what do you know.

The cart careened through the left, the momentum slingshotting it through the corner somehow and sticking her to the railing, before she was slammed into the side of it's metal frame as it instead turned right. Then came the loop de loops.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! WHY DID I LET YOU CONVI-"

Her reply became lost in the winds.

Lucy was knocked backwards against the cart, an oppressive weight keeping her tucked in there as the cart began its course through the loop. The air rotating too quickly against her lips, leaving her unable to breathe.

Finally, they came out of the loop to loop and Lucy took in the air in great gulps. She'd even be able to scream now if she really wanted to. But she stayed silent and held onto the railing with a white knuckled death grip instead.

She was still mute even when their cart reached the end stage, Boris finally noticing there was something wrong.

"Are you okay?"

She turned blank eyes on him. "A little too late, my friend." Belatedly, she wondered if she'd kicked up a fuss earlier, whether the ride operator's would have ended it shorter for her. Or if they didn't, Boris would have tried shooting them to do so.

On retrospect, she was glad she didn't even if it did mean surviving that horrible ride. Lucy's skin still crawled as she staggered out of the cart with the help of Boris's outstretched hand.

"Come on," said Boris, hooking his arm through hers as he began leading them down the pathway. "I'll treat you to lunch. As an apology. Okay?"

"I already ate a second ago," she replied, stoically.

He scoffed. "Sugar spun candy isn't a meal."

"My stomach is small. That means it can't handle too much."

Completely ignoring her, which, rude, Boris instead turned them around into a cafe. Well okay. If it had mac and cheese, she could probably still stuff herself.

She didn't audibly communicate her agreement to Boris.

He led her there anyways.

That night, Lucy lay on her bed and stared at the bottle which was all that remained of what the twins force-fed her earlier. Before, its contents were completely diminished, but since she’d started interacting with people, it’d started filling up drop by drop.

Lucy swirled the liquid around the bottle, deep in thought. Presumably the liquid rising was an indication of how close it was getting before she could leave. She was getting closer.

A sick feeling stirred the bottom of her stomach and she turned on her side, dropping the bottle onto the matress.

“...Do I really want to leave? In the end, whether I do or not, I don’t suppose I have a choice...”

She sighed.

“And what about those twins? If I do choose to stay here ... I’ll have to deal with them too.”

She frowned, pursing her lips in thought. The two had shown her a different side to her today. She’d gotten closer to them because of it.

But, could it really be said that they’d shown her a different side, when Dee and Dum had almost ignored her wishes and gone rampaging again? ... Granted, it wouldn’t have been in front of her, but... she’d have been to blame for it, in the end.

More likely, rather than them changing, it was her changing: her comfort levels which were changing. She was accepting the world more, and through that, came to accept them more. But then, could she really say she was getting closer to the two of them...? Lucy didn’t think so, especially since, even though she’d spent less time with them, Blood, Elliot and even the cheshire cat, were people she liked better than them.

Blood was kind for a mafia boss and dry witted in a way which attracted her. Elliot, despite being the second in command to said mafia boss, was an expressive, affectionate person who she was interested in. It helped that he liked her. And lastly, the cheshire cat... he teased her, but he’d also been the one to calm her down while she’d been in that state of panic. She couldn’t help but feel grateful towards him.

What had the twins done for her compared to that ...?

She let a soft sound pass her lips. “Oh.” Right. That was true. They’d done that one thing nobody else would’ve ever done.

Hadn’t they—

“—given me a home?”

Lucy lay frozen on her covers, the bottle pinched between her fingers. Her thoughts were going in panicked circles in her head, _she didn’t need a home, she wasn’t allowed—_

“Don’t think.”

A deep, reverberating voice cut her off like before.

It wasn’t her voice? ....

“Just accept.”

She shut her eyes. Right, that was right. That was right, wasn’t it? She’d been kidnapped into this world, and she couldn’t leave it. She’d have to leave this world when the bottle was filled, but before then, she’d have to stay. She was powerless to leave.

Dee and Dum had made sure of that... Deserving, or allowance, had nothing to do with it. The truth of this embedded into her head... She’d stay here until she couldn’t anymore.

And with that cheery thought, Lucy nodded off.

....

....

....

_“But I didn’t do it!”_

_That childish voice, shrill with an adult’s desperation, belonged to the young girl with the red ponytail._

_“I didn’t break it!”_

_But her cries for mercy where left unheard by the kangaroo court._

_Her classmates muttered: “Well it clearly can’t have been Clamont.” “Clamont’s the only one who was also on cleaning duty, but wouldn’t he keep silent if he did it?” “We misunderstood you all this time. I’m sorry Clamont!”_

_But it had been Clamont! Clamont was the bully, the one who broke people’s things, who stole Suzie’s phone, who pickpocketed anyone who left money in their coats. He’d defaced lockers from people he didn’t even know when people weren’t looking and had once menaced a child in the neighbourhood to steal their skateboard only to leave it discarded into some bushes._

_Many a times he’d manipulated people into giving them their rare marbles in the idea that he’d be able to get better ones soon and would give them to them (that never happened). He’d sweet talked her into going along with his behaviour because, in his own words, his victims had people to come up for them, but he didn’t have anyone. Didn’t he deserve love to?_

_Yet_ she _was the one at blame here?_

_“Lucy is a terrible child.”_

_People had said that before. “She’s vandalized several cars with the keys she steals from other people’s houses.” “She bought a box of crayons with money that she stole. She lied that she didn’t have money to call her house when stranded at the swimming pool and started a whole hoopla for them, her poor parents.”_

_That was a common refrain: “Her poor parents.”_

_Her mother would slap her down for being selfish. Her father would encourage the same behaviour she slapped down, except when she did something that personally offended him (that changed on a dime), and suddenly she wasn’t his “precious princess” anymore, but a pampered child that deserved punishment. Didn’t she deserve love too?_

_Her eyes filled with tears, turned towards her childhood friend. “Clamont,” she choked._

_“Don’t look at me,” the boy said coolly. “I’m no longer under your thumb.”_

_Of course. Lucy almost laughed at the thought, even through her tears. That had never been the case._

_..._

_..._

_..._

It had been what felt like a long time since she’d been dropped into Wonderland. Day by day, the liquid in her bottle was flowing backwards, as if time itself was turning against the grain. Lucy felt her stress piling up, so she attended a lot of Blood’s tea parties and visited the amusement park many a times to combat it. If she was distracted, she had nothing to worry about, right?

She’d avoided being around Dee and Dum because they still made her feel uneasy, even if after that one day they hadn’t hurt anyone in front of her. Now and then, they would still ‘welcome her’ home with hands stained with blood though...as if they weren’t going to let her completely forget their true selves.

They’d also taken to changing into their adults selves when they happened to meet her. Lucy didn’t want to know why, but she had her suspicions. Like for example the fact they seemed to like her in an ‘adult’ way.

Admittably, being around them while they were children did make her feel uncomfortable knowing this. So it was probably for the best.

One thing that did concerned her was the rumours she was hearing about the other foreigner who’d been here before her. Supposedly she’d ‘moved’ to the country of Diamonds, which was in Wonderland as well. But how had she moved? Could that happen to Lucy too? She was worried.

So she asked her companions that over tea one day.

“Alice huh?” His knees crossed underneath the table, Blood swirled the liquid around in his cup and looked contemplative. “Why do you need to know all of a sudden?”

“Yeah, sis,” the twins chanted in perfect synchronization, and Dum reached out to tussle her hair. He could do that since he was in his older form right now. “She’s not important. Why do you want to talk about someone like her?”

An outsider had been dragged into this world just as she had. Why would she not want to know more, logically speaking? It made no sense how these people were acting.

“She’s like me, isn’t she?”

“Ehh, what’s this? Sis, are you maybe feeling inadequate?”

With a cock of his head, Dum asked this and let go of her hair.

“How did you even reach that conclusion?”

She shook her head at his words, now more confused than ever.

“But Lucy, aren’t you comparing yourself to that woman?” Dee insisted from her other side, where he was sitting next to her and had his arm slung around the back of her chair. “Lucy is our one and only outsider, you could never be replaced,” he went on to say, and moved closer to her side.

“Do you really want to know more? Isn’t knowing you’re our one and only enough?”

Dum, following his brother’s movements, also leaned closer to her so they were pressing into her from both sides.

Hyper aware of where their knees touched and Dum was nuzzling into her shoulder, she released the air in her lungs through gritted teeth. They were trying to distract her, she felt, and the worst part was that it was working.

She managed to get one sentence in still, however: “What about her character? The person she was?”

“Alice’s personality?” Elliot repeated, and she’d almost forgotten he was there. “Hrrmm, that’s difficult to answer. It’s all pretty fuzzy by now.”

_Fuzzy?_

She arched a doubting eyebrow at the rabbit-man, though the way his face was screwed up in concentration like he was thinking very deeply told her he was serious.

_Trying, and yet he still doesn’t remember the girl very well?_

Presuming this, Lucy said “Can I take that as nobody was that close to her?”

“She’d sometimes meet Blood over for tea.” Contradicting so, Elliot shook his head.

The mafia boss smiled calmly at what his subordinate said, before elaborating.

“I don’t remember the girl very well either. If you want information on her, you’re going to have to ask the Heart castle’s prime minister.”

At that, the brothers let out a shriek, “What? No!”

With a hop they clutched onto her, Dee hooking his arm around her neck and Dum practically falling into her lap.

“Don’t go there without us! He’ll kill you!” Dum spluttered.

“Brother’s right, he really will!” Saying this, Dee crushed her face into his pinstriped suit covered chest.

“Mphf!”

Coincidentally, now Lucy’s mouth was covered and she couldn’t ask questions anymore.

 _Really? Coincidence, huh...?_ Lucy scoffed in her mind. _Sure._ But from the way the twins were acting... Lucy sighed, _maybe they really don’t have malicious motives._ Pushing lightly at Dee, she made room for herself again and asked, “Do you promise you’ll take me there then?”

“We promise!” her twins chorused, and that was that.

The brothers and her didn’t immediately travel to the Heart’s Castle though. The brothers still had work to do, and the breaks they did have didn’t last long enough to get to the Heart Castle.

Which left Lucy cooling her heels in the mansion, but with Dee and Dum gone, even with books to read, it was quite boring. Lucy had never thought of herself as someone who thrived in human presence, but she couldn’t deny it any longer. Without wi-fi or a game to play, she found a source of entertainment only in others.

She would go to Elliot, since he out of all the people she’d met so far seemed relatively less likely to shoot her, but she wandered across the entire mansion and didn’t come across him once, so it was likely he was working too. Blood was also mysteriously gone.

There was but one action she could take-

Finding a servant to pester. The corners of Lucy’s lips turned down automatically at the thought, since those people’s faint faces still freaked her out even now. But she should be getting used to them anyway if she was going to be living here for any longer.

So with that in mind, she started down the corridor. After two turns left and one right, she found that in front of one of the doors there, a male servant was standing guard. Like the rest of the servants she’d seen, he was uniformed in black and red, with black feathers sticking out of his hair.

“Hello,” she greeted, her feet pattering on the carpet before stopping in front of the man. Though he had no eyes, she could see his eyebrows shoot up his forehead at her voice.

“Miss foreigner? But you definitely avoided talking to any of us before now.”

Lucy groaned in her mind. _So the staff noticed how I’ve been acting till now._ It was a bit embarrassing, but hopefully he didn’t know she’d been avoiding them because she was scared of them. Scared even more than she was of the twins, who she had every reason to be freaking terrified of.

The only way to put a stop to this, she thought, was to apologise.

So she did, saying, “I’m sorry. I just suddenly was dropped in this world, so I’m not very used to...” she gestured with a flap of her hand to encompass her surroundings.

The uniformed man seemed to brighten up at this. “That’s understandable. What you don’t know is scary. So.” He clapped his hands together, his look expectant. “Was there something you wanted?”

She ran a hand down her hair in thought, before saying, “I just wanted to talk. I have nothing else to do, you see.”

He let out an appreciative noise, “Ooh. Nothing to do? How lucky.” She made a face at him, and he amended lazily, “but boredom is the enemy. In that case, would you like me to give you something to do, miss foreigner?”

She slid her eyes over the, again, expectant gaze of the uniformed man. This close up, she could actually see the faint lines of his eyes and they were gleaming. _Is this a trap?_ Was something she couldn’t stop thinking. But even if it was, she had nothing to do, and she doubted Blood would let his men get away with injuring her in some way.

“Okay. If you have something to stop me from being bored, then by all means. But, before then-“ She put up her hand as if to stop him. “Call me Lucy. It’s more my name than foreigner ever will be.”

The man smiled calmly, dimples popping up in the corners of his mouth. “Miss Lucy, then,” he ordained, before he turned on his foot and threw over his shoulder, “Come follow behind me, miss Lucy.”

They walked through the hallways until he opened a glass door which led to the outside, and more specifically, a part of the mansion she hadn’t been to before.

A clearing stretched before her until stopping at a hill a hundred meters away. But that wasn’t what drew her attention, but the scorch marks imprinted in several patches of grass on the clearing.

“This is a mine field,” the uniformed man explained for her, the plastic of his vest squeaking as he pointed at the area in front of them. “But it has been sabotaged recently by a different faction, so half of the mines planted are now nothing but duds. We need to plant new ones but before then we have to get rid of the old ones.”

Kaclik, the man smoothly retrieved the gun from his belt and turned the safety off, before turning the nozzle at the field. “-Bang!”

**_“BOOOOOOOOM!”_ **

One of his bullets hit a mine which was not a dud, and it seemed for a moment like a thunder clap had split the earth, kicking up a wave of dust and grass. Stepping backwards from the edge of the field, Lucy covered her mouth with her sleeve to breathe through it.

“Here, miss Lucy.” Still smiling tranquily, the man turned his nozzle in a direction away from her and handed over the gun.

“This is my favourite part of the job, but since you’re bored, I’ll let you do it just this once.” He winked.

Lucy wasn’t scared. She had her hands on a gun and wasn’t scared, because it had always been people who hurt other people. This was nothing but a tool, like a kitchen knife and as long as she didn’t turn it on a person, it’s purpose didn’t have to be to kill others.

She didn’t know how to use it, though. The props used in live action rpg weren’t the same at all.

“How do I use this?”

Tightening her grip on the leather frame, she asked it of him.

A look of polite incomprehension blanketed his face for a moment, before quickly clearing up with the soft exclaimant of, “right, foreigner.”

_Should I be offended? It is true..._

But before she could do anything either way, the lesson started.

Putting his hand on her wrist holding the gun, the lanky mobster stepped behind her and started adjusting her aim. He bent and pulled at her finger joints, before moving his index finger over her own lightly touching the trigger. She was almost leaning into the crook of his arm by now, but it was a surprisingly comforting feeling.

“Brace for the recoil,” the uniformed man suggested, before his other hand signalled she should pull together by squeezing her forearm.

“Bang!” the bullet sped from the cylinder, and with the uniformed man’s help, it connected to the patch of earth she’d been going for.

“BOOOOOOM!”

Again, an explosion split the air, and dust was kicked up. Before she could lift her hand to cover her mouth again, the uniformed man touched her arm so she moved the gun’s nozzle more to the middle of the clearing.

“Bang!” the gun spluttered, and another explosion rocketed the earth with a spectacular splattering of debris. “Bang-!” a second shot, and nothing exploded now, before “-bang!” a third hit on another mine, “-bang!” so did her sixth- “Bang!” her seventh- “Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!” Her eleventh, twelfth, fifteenth- “Bang!” sixteenth-

Click! Click, click click click!

“-Oh.”

Listening further to the gun’s dial tone, she mourned. She’d almost been enjoying herself there, but there were no more bullets in its frame.

Warmth left her back as the uniformed man stepped besides her again, and he took the gun from her as his hands retreated from her as well. “Young miss, wasn’t it just as I told you?” His eyes were curving happily, his tone gentle, as he put the safety on the gun again. “This is my favourite past time. There’s no way anyone could be bored blowing up mines.”

Lucy’s trail of thought stopped abruptly, before the gears in her head whirred. _What?_ There’s no way anyone could be- maybe anyone from this place, but she wasn’t violent like these people. Yet she’d had no scuplus clearing up the mind field they were going to use to plant more mines which would be used to blow people up. The activity in itself wasn’t bad, but what it would lead to-

And she’d been so busy having fun she hadn’t thought of this? Lucy rubbed the back of her head and mumbled an absent agreement to the man, still thinking furiously. _Aren’t I adapting ...a little too well?_

“I’m happy.” The man’s voice was sincere, and brought her out of her head. She looked up at him, and it could be her imagination, but she thought she could see colour filling in his eyes. A nice, warm chestnut.

Lucy was starting to feel bashful. “It’s...just because you helped me find entertainment. So, you know, thanks.” Avoiding his gaze, she toyed with the red strands from her ponytail.  

Suddenly, she felt a hand that wasn’t hers gently touch a lock of her hair, and shifted her gaze. “You have such wonderfully coloured hair,” the uniformed man offered up as an excuse, and tugged it up to his mouth before laying down a kiss.

She almost jumped out of her skin! Quickly, Lucy jerked away from the man and jitterly concealed the lock with the palm of her hand. “Dude, personal space!”

The man laughed sheepishly. “Right, sorry.” His cheeks dusting with red, it seemed in the heat of the moment, he’d forgotten that touching someone like that without permission wasn’t appropriate.

She eyed him full of suspicion for a second, but when he didn’t try to cross the distance, she let her shoulders relax again.

“But really miss, your hair is very gorgeous. Red like roses.” The man winked.

 _He’s flirting with me._ He was definitely flirting with her. She absently wondered how he’d act if he knew that the twins also wanted her. Would he stop, because they were of higher rank than him? Or would the twins rip him to shreds before he had the opportunity to?

Since not that long ago she’d been a pariah, a homeless woman, an undesirable, she had to admit that the attention (from someone other than the twins, at least) felt flattering.

_....? Wait-_

She’d almost forgotten the fear she held towards them, the faceless. Somehow, she’d actually grown more comfortable around this man than the few roleholders she’d met.

She raised her eyes to the calmly smiling faceless in his leather waist coat and black coattails.

_Was this his plan?_

If so, he’d succeeded greatly at it.

“You- what is your name?”

Not a second after she finished speaking, the man’s smile dimmed.

The uniformed man balled his fist at the centre of his chest and with a bowed head admitted, “-I don’t have one.”

 _Doesn’t have one?_ She looked at the black spikes at the top of his head, to his polished black dress shoes and thought, _No face, and now no name?_

But, ignoring his lack of a face, he seemed the same as everyone else she’d met here. He did seem human, and humans had names. Specifically so that people could differentiate others form themselves- _Oh wait._ This was a faceless. But even then-

“Not even from your parents?”

His facial features pulled tight in a sober face, he shook his head. “I don’t have any parents, miss.”

Well, that wasn’t omnious. Lucy guessed either his parents had died, or he’d never had any parents to begin with. It would explain why he was shacking it up with the mafia in the latter’s case.

...Either that, or faceless just didn’t have parents, period.

She looked at him consideringly. _I can’t name him either, like he’s a pet._ Then what _could_ Lucy do? ...Well, since a name was something to differentiate with-

“Then I just won’t forget your face,” she mumbled.

The man blinked. “Excuse me?”

She stepped up to him, taking hold of his bony shoulders. “I won’t forget what you look like. Isn’t that as good as having a name?”

Open surprise bloomed over his face and brought a break in his proper posture. _Not a bad look._

But that was enough of that. Lucy moved one of her hands to her face to stiffen a yawn, and let go of the man with her other. She blinked blearily. _Tired._

The uniformed man regained his composure enough to notice.

“Oh, are you sleepy? Then, do you want me to escort you back to your room?” Saying this, he patted his hands of of gunpowder.

“Don’t need an escort,” she grumbled, but didn’t protest when he did lead her to the room.

Once there, she practically fell into her bed, hugging the pink pillow she’d been bequethed closely to her chest. “What am I even doing?” Murmuring this, she rolled over and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling over her head.   


She didn’t know how long she’d been here so far—it felt like forever, and simultaneously like it was just yesterday. She thought falling into the trap that it was forever was worse, though.

 _Because, then I might-_ pain!

Lucy flinched, slapping her pillow aside to clap her hand on her forehead.

Right, that was right. She was going to leave, because that was just the way the world worked. She _couldn’t_ stay, so thinking that there might be a way to stay here? Becoming resigned to stay here, as she was at leaving? That wasn’t possible. Because Lucy knew, she was going to leave.

_She was._

_Just accept, don’t think._

Rolling onto her stomach, Lucy shoved her pillow over her head and tried to get to sleep.

At the same time.

 _“_ Hey brother, do you think we made the correct decision?” Dee asked idly as he kicked at the twitching body which remained of the enemy one of the opposing factions had sent.

“The decision to stop lying to Lucy she wouldn’t be able to leave, brother?” Dum asked in response, toying with the blood dying the shaft of his axe a bright red. “Yes, I do think so. You know it yourself, brother—Nightmare told it to you too.”

He flicked the blade of his axe, letting the blood splatter into the grass at the side of the road. “Lucy is a contrary girl. If she resigns herself to staying here, and then the opportunity comes that she can leave, she’ll take it greedily.”

“She’s so high maintenance,” Dee complained with a shake of his head, his tone childish. He looked at the ripped up body at his feet. “It’s also getting such a drag hiding these corpses from her.”

“It’s only until they turn into clocks, brother. Have some patience.” Saying so, Dum strode up to the body his brother was still toying with. His shadow lengthened with each step as he took on his adult form.

“Heave, ho.” Lifting the body on his shoulder, he turned to the bushes further up the side of the road and dumped it there.  

“There, now Lucy won’t be able to see it if she comes past.” He clapped his hands together, satisfied.

“Such tedious work,” his brother complained again, and yawned behind a blood splattered hand. “Why was it we chased away the mouse again, brother?”

His brother fixed him with a doubting look, and he grinned with a maul full of teeth. “Just kidding. Something like this doesn’t irritate me enough I want him back. Though...it has been a bit boring without someone to chase.”

Stepping up to him, his red-eyed brother clapped him consolingly on the shoulder. “That’s why we’ve got Lucy here, don’t we brother? So things won’t be boring again.”

The smile softened. “Yes, Lucy. With her here, it won’t be boring ever again.”

On this as well, they were of one mind.

End chap.


	3. Not Terrible

The next day she relaxed with her 13th trip to the amusement park. Though she’d gone to sleep at night, when she’d woken up (feeling completely refreshed) it was still night. Staring up at the sky as she walked the cobbled bricks of the footpath inside the park, Lucy thought- _as expected, I still can’t get used to this._

“Lucy!” A voice called out when she had almost reached the water attraction she’d been eyeing the last time was here, before weight dropped onto her shoulders and almost dragged her down.

She knew the owner of that voice. “What are you doing?” she immediately shot back, and jerked out of the cat’s grip, covering the tops of her shoulders protectively.

The cat’s tail swished behind him in amusement, a cat that ate the cream’s smile on his lips. “Greeting you back home. Why? Don’t you want to hug the kitty~”

“I’m not one of your customers,” she grumbled back, slowly uncoiling from the tenseness her posture had taken on at being ambushed so suddenly. It hit her what he’d said before that last bit and she pointed out, “Also, this isn’t my home. You didn’t let me freeload here.” Mores the pity.

“Such a disappointment!” the cat mourned, and siddled up to her with his hands folded in his pockets. “But you know,” he said, turning to the side so one of his eyes was focusing on her, “that old man, the park’s owner, isn’t busy right now, so you can go ask him.”

So far she’d only been hanging out with Boris, so she hadn’t met him yet.

Lucy scoffed, looking away at him to observe the slow truck of the crowds going up and down the footpath. “And what would you get from that?”

The cat walked supplely up to her and brought his weight to bear on his hand on her shoulder, with the complaint- “I thought we had a good relationship going. Why are you so grumpy today?”

Lucy lifted her hand to toy with the hair next to her chin, looking out over the horizon. “Dunno. Fatigue, maybe?” Thought she’d had a good night’s sleep, it could be mental fatigue.

Resting his chin on his hand, he glanced at her sideways. “You’re not freaking out about the faceless anymore though. Progress huh?”

“Just a bit.”

The two of them stood there quietly, Boris’s tail swishing and ears flicking restlessly before he finally had enough of it.

“We’re going to play a game,” he said decisively and dragged her over the bricks towards a tented area in the distance.

“Ah, stop that! M- my neck..”

Easily ignoring Lucy’s protests at that, she was dragged until they stood at the tent flaps, the entrance to the area. Game music blared out from the open gap, so she guessed he really had meant a game. Letting go of her neck, he slid next to her and locked their arms together before dragging her in.

It was like an arcade, with several devices you had to use your body to operate like DDR, though there were a couple of games more in-line with the flavour of the amusement park. Boris straight out ignored those, making a beeline towards the gun game at the back of the middle row of machines.

Lucy rubbed at her wounded limbs and watched him nonchalantly push a quarter into the bright red painted machine, take a hold of the gun, and then turn towards her in an after thought. As if he’d forgotten she was there!

“I’m really good at games like this, you know. I’ll let you play first,” he said, a smug smile on his face like- _aren’t I gracious?_

That face was so annoying Lucy reached out over the steps and flicked him on the nose.

“What did you do that for!?” Whining, he reached up to pet his nose with a merry jangle of the chains on his wrists.

 _I’ve always wondered about them,_ thought Lucy as she followed the movement with her eyes. Well, nothing ventured nothing gained. “Boris,” she said, “What is _up_ with your dressing style?”

“You’re asking me this now...”

With a shake of his head, he dropped his nose and began shooting the screen with the fake gun. Over the background of explosions and victory each time one of his shots hit (which was every time) he explained, “Just like it, I guess. Why? You don’t think I look like a verrry cool kitty in pink and gold?”

With his other hand, he pulled at the gold hanging from his choker in emphasis and winked.

But, ignoring that, wasn’t he just as good as he said he was? Peeking over his shoulder, Lucy could see that every single of his shots hit their marks. It was unnatural how he could do it so fluently without even paying attention.

All he had to say for himself was, “It’s because I’m a cat. We’re naturally skilled.”

Oi oi, _I do call you a cat in your head, but you’re really human after all, you know?_ Lucy shook her head, at both his fashion sense and gaming talent. But maybe that just showed she shouldn’t be getting in to the habbit of calling people by a different species; they may start actually thinking it.

After she said that, with one hand still outstretched towards the screen, Boris cocked his head and said, “But I am a cat so it isn’t wrong, you know.”

“Incorrect!” she immediately cut down, “You have cat ears and a cat tail and a cat smile, yeah. But you’re not a cat!”

Boris’s eyebrow went up. Actually, the gazes from the faceless Lucy had been ignoring and been ignored by so far, she could feel them burning into her back.

“I don’t know how it is in your world, but here, I _am_ a cat.”

He seemed so insistent, and then there was the fact that she was drawing attention by her denials, that Lucy woefully threw her hands up in defeat. “I give up, you can be a cat if you want to be.”

The cat’s lips curved victoriously. “That’s because I am a cat.”

Then, he flipped his wrist and offered her the fake gun. She glanced at the screen to see he’d finished it – got a new record, even.  

She stepped over to the black leather pad in front of the machine.

Naturally, she was much worse at it than him. But it was an interesting experience, using fake guns after having used a real one to clean up that mine field ten time turns ago. As she squeezed out shots from the fake gun’s barrel, she was almost disappointed there was no recoil.

Though she’d thought differently while on that field (distracted by the uniformed soldier’s flirting), in the end, there was a difference between the two after all. The adrenaline rush, for one, was completely absent.

While she was deep in thought, the cat snuck up to her again and poked her in the cheek. “Penny for your thoughts?”

She couldn’t see why not. Letting her grip on the frame slacken, she murmured, “Holding a real gun and holding a fake one is different.”

The cat let out an excited (birdlike?) noise at that. “Right? I think so too. Fake guns could never compare. Here!” He moved to stand next to the machine so she could see him, and unpocketed a gun from nowhere.

Lucy glanced down its burgundy and silver length with wide eyes- the same chain which hung from his wrists and choker was also attached to it. She thought back to the guns she’d seen hanging from the belts of the other employers in this park.

“...Does everyone here own a gun, or something?”

“Ha?” The cat went, “A gun... well, of course they do?” His voice lilting questioningly up at the end, he shot her a look of honest puzzlement.

She heaved a sigh, and swept her eyes over the other customers in the tent who, in contrary to when she’d been doubting his cat credibility, weren’t paying them any mind. “Of course they do, he says..”

But all the evidence pointed towards him being right. She combed a hand through her hair with one hand and with the other aimed at the flying aliens on the screen.

“So you don’t have a gun,” he concluded. His eyes stood pityingly, which she almost wanted to rail against. Not owning a gun was normal. Normal!

 _The more I’m here,_ she felt more than ever, _the more I’m in danger of losing all my moral scruples._

It was enough to give any girl a headache.

“But if you don’t have a gun,” Boris mused, slinking over her side to watch her play. “What’ve you been doing all this time?”

“What do you mean, doing?” Lucy repeated the question, and tsked when her shot only just skipped over the enemy.

Leaning his weight on her side, he rested his chin on her shoulder and explained, “You live with the Hatter’s, don’t you?” He paused, before saying with a dismissive laugh, “Don’t tell me you’re staying there without any way to defend yourself.”

“....” She didn’t have anything to say to that.

“Whoa whoa what?” Now suddenly alarmed, he pulled at the cottom of her sleeve to force her to face him. “You’re living with those maniacs without a gun or anything??”

His eyes were wide pinpricks of black surrounded by a sea of pink, the concern in the angular lines of his face almost flattering.

 _No, don’t lie to yourself._ It _was_ flattering, made something warm and fuzzy inside Lucy wake up and urge her to pet him or pinch his cheeks. Truth to be told, she was _weak_ against faces like these, so she had to really hold herself back from doing either of those.

 _Even if I want to, though, I doubt he’d appreciate it._ Is it bad to want to pamper someone? Lucy stil didn’t know, but probably yes when you didn’t know that person well.

“That’s terrible!” Boris was still freaking out. “We need to get you a gun right away-! And besides, guns are good.”

The cat nodded sagely to himself, warming up to the idea. “Sooo good. There are so many different guns you know? With different barrels, different receivers, oh and the recoil needs to be customized too. Finding one that fits you is going to be difficult but somehow, I’m looking forward to it!”

His forehead was bumping against her own while he was talking, and it was getting really distracting.

Boris continued to mutter, “I wonder what sort of gun would suit you. You’re a beginner right? Oh- or did you have a gun back home?”

Suddenly at the other end of his expectant, big pink eyes, Lucy stuttered something.

“You didn’t?” Voice pitching upwards in disbelief, he frowned at her with a mother’s disapproval. “You’ve really been letting your safety go, oi Lucy.”

“Ah well...” She hesitated, before going on, “Guns weren’t as widespread as here exactly, so someone owning a gun was a rarity rather than an everyday fact.”

“Eh?”

Letting the sound balloon from his lips, he pawed at the back of her cardigan. “No way, what did your world do about protecting yourself then? Wait, don’t tell me it’s like the twins.“

Now that was going to far. “No no nooo.” She thoroughly shook herself at the thought. “My place wasn’t _that_ barbarous. Put it out of your mind, I don’t even want to think about it like that.”

“Or like the knight,” Boris ignored her.

Lucy repeated it after him. “The knight...” She didn’t know anything about a knight, but presumably a knight was from the castle- _No wait, stop getting distracted._

“My people **aren’** t like that.”

“Yeah. I also think I was going too far there.” An uncomfortable, almost guilty look appeared on his face.

She had her suspicions as to why. _Oi oi, what is the person you’re comparing my world’s people to like? Did you just heap deadly insults on them?_

But anyway, they were straying far of topic here.

“I do not need nor want a gun,” she finally answered him.

 Boris scratched at his ear. “Well, considering the circumstances, you won’t be targeted by roleholders mostly. But, the faceless are a whole ‘nother story.”

She gazed at him with skeptical eyes. “You’re not just trying to freak me out about them again?” _I can’t see hazel eyes doing me harm,_ she completed in her mind. Or people like him.

“So you’ve had good experiences with faceless,” Boris understood, which was sharp of him. _Am I that easy to read? Nah._ More likely, he simply remembered how much trouble she’d had with them, so her sudden turnabout had to be from something.

He cautioned her, “But even the faceless aren’t a monoethic entity. You can’t base your opinion on just one person.”

 _Hm, true._ It still felt a bit like a betrayal after uniformed man had hard-won her trust, but even then. And besides, while she trusted Boris and the people from her residence, she didn’t trust any other other roleholders or she would’ve already traveled alone to the Castle.

She had to give it up. “Okay, so not everyone has my best interests in mind. But.” Lucy gazed in thought at the people playing around her. “I don’t see how holding a _gun_ in my hand will stop me from getting shot.”

After all, while having a gun in her own world would be able to repel anyone wanting to mug her (and make them think her crazy as a consequence) here, it was the norm to be wielding a gun. In that case, Lucy’d be expected to use it, and it wouldn’t make anyone wary at all. That left the problem that guns didn’t leave you bullet proof.

Boris, releasing her, pushed a half step backwards with a grumbled, “That’s boring.” Then he added, a last ditch attempt, “You don’t even want one for the fun of it? Mod it out to your heart’s content?”

“Nooo, thank you.” Waving her hands wildly in his direction, she dodged the responsibility.

“Awww.” The cat let out a pout which was too cute on his face. Again, Lucy was assailed with the urge to pinch his cheeks, but she valiantly struggled on and prevailed against it. Truly, it was the battle of the century.

But that reminded her- “Enough about guns. Didn’t you speak about the genuine owner of this park being here today? If so, if I talk to him, will he let me stay here?”

“Ah, the old man? Yeah he’ll let you stay,” Boris waved his hand dismissively. At that same moment, the bong! Sound of loss came from the machine behind them.

“Ah,” Lucy exhaled. While they’d been busy talking, the game had finished. _What a shame._ But that at least meant the cat should be able to lead her to his old man now.

She stepped up to him and linked their arms together. This time, she was the one to drag him out in her hurry.

But honestly speaking, she wasn’t actually that confident she wanted to leave the mansion. She’d gotten used to the people there, while she didn’t know what Boris’s old man’s character was. And it seemed that she wouldn’t have as much peace and quiet as she had in the mansion since customers mobbed this place day and night.

She’d also come to appreciate the faceless servants there. If she could just appreciate Dee and Dum without having to feel guilty for it- because they were terrible, violent people, no bet and she shouldn’t be soft towards them just for liking her- it would be an ideal place. So maybe she wanted to remain in the mansion, but as long as she made an attempt to leave the place despite it, she could at least feel less emotional turmoil (even if it made her feel less happy).

Even to herself, Lucy didn’t make any sense, but there you go.

Of course, when they did actually find him, it was as he was to the point of putting a snare to a brown polished instrument- a violin? In the middle of a square like he wanted everyone to listen.

 _Ah, a musician, huh_? Lucy thought nothing of it as she strode onwards.

Suddenly Boris yelled, “Run!” and threw his arm out to the side as a barrier, stopping her in her tracks.

Alas, it was already too late.

A goddawful screeching, that could be compared to nails coming down on a chalkboard but three times as loud, quickly filled the square. People who hadn’t made it out of the area soon enough began screaming and covering their ears. It didn’t do anything to block out the sound, this Lucy knew out of experience since she covered her own as well.

“The hell is this?!” Turning on the cat next to her, Lucy demanded to know.  

Boris winced guiltily under her spitting green gaze before begrudingly admitting, “The old man’s....violin playing...”

“Violin playing!” she repeated. That was a degree of awful an musical instrument shouldn’t even be capable of!

People were starting to throw food at the outlandishly dressed man (a vibrant yellow coat with horse woodworks as decorations, really?) but he danced around the projectiles and continued strumming his instrument like they weren’t there. An instrument which, actually, on second though, didn’t seem _quite_ like a violin.

“Yeah,” Boris’s voice sounded sheepish. “I didn’t tell you but.... the old man’s convinced he’s an ace performer so he puts on these ‘concerts’.”

Not only would her life her be busy with all the customers, but she’d also be plagued with screeches from hell-on a daily basis? “Leave it,” she murmured and walked up to Boris to pat him on the shoulder. “I’m sorry, I can’t actually live here.”

“I understand, you don’t need to apologise,” murmured Boris back.   

In the background, the “violin music” went on and on.

Really, it was a canoptic concert.

In the end, she fled the square and still didn’t have the opportunity to introduce herself to the owner. But such was life. She’d just have to come over another time—hopefully, when he **wasn’t** in the middle of a hell sacrifice ceremony _– Oh, excuse me, **concert,**_ Lucy snorted in her mind.

Turning away from welcoming the sight of the mansion to Boris, she thanked him for walking her back home, and for amusing her for the day.

“No problem, this kitty had fun too~” he declared on the cob stones of the mansion, before stepping over and wrapping his arms around her sides in a hug.

He left her stuttering at the sudden skinship with a grin on his face, leaving afterwards before she could get herself together enough to reply.

_What an utter rogue._

Exhaling deeply, she left for her room in the mansion.  

Waking up the next day, she decided on a walk.

The path she took led her to the middle of the woods. And it was peaceful. The smell of pine cones, the tweeting of various species of birds, even the small pitter patter of animal sscurrying around looking for food- _ah, it’s so good._ Closing her eyes, Lucy navigated by instinct alone. The trees canopy covering the sun above her, it really was a gentle, tranquil day-

“Coooooming through-“

The voice interrupted her thoughts. Before she could take inventory, the voice’s owner wrapped an arm around her shoulder and dragged her swiftly behind him.

Naturally, she protested, “What are you-“

“Don’t mind me, just saving your life!”

The stranger punctuated his words with a push of her shoulder so she narrowly avoided tripping over a cut down tree log.

 _What is this scenario?_ Everything was going to fast for Lucy to regain her bearings. All she could do was come along for the ride, whether she wanted to or not.

Suddenly she heard a whine from behind her. A panting whine, like breath being exhaled through a fanged maw and the snapping of plant growth like chasing footsteps. _Don’t tell me-_

“Nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about,” her captor giggled in her ear, _the madman._

Lucy, inhaling a lung full of air, yelled, “BEAAAAAAAAAAAAR!”

“Ah ha ha ha!” Her saviour laughed merrily at their predicament.  

_What is this even?_

“You have a sword on your back, right,” she got out with difficulty. Since she was leaning against him right now, she could feel the metal sheeth against her side. “Then cut down that bear!”

He gasped theatrically at her words. “Cut down a fuzzy wuzzy bear? How could _I_?”

He was breathing completely normal like this was a walk in the park. This too, Lucy thought, was a bit much. But she understood his words. While she didn’t want to die on the hands of a beast, animals, just like humans, shouldn’t be killed needlessly.

In that case... “Promise me I won’t die!”

“You won’t die!” he promised at once.

Lucy thought that readiness in itself, was suspicion, but she didn’t have any other choice. “Okay then! Let’s run let’s runnnn!”

Putting words to action, she pumped her legs diligently in order to keep up with the young man. Together, the two tore through the landscape like the hounds of hell were on their heels. Ignore the stitch in your side! Ignore the stinging of your battered feet, the sweat running down your back, annnnnnd runnnn!

It was actually starting to get a bit fun. Lucy felt like she was running a marathon against the man. He was actually deliberately keeping pace with her though, and moving her out of the way of obstacles.

She huffed out a laugh as they turned around a cluster of trees. _That’s likely what’s making this fun!_ The fact that, no matter what, he was keeping them away from the beast. So she could trust him, she could also trust she wasn’t going to die, and take it as easy as someone running for her life can.

 _Oh my god, madness is contagious._ Suddenly she realized the perverted turn her thoughts were taking and it almost made her trip.

“Oh that’s not good-“ saying this, the man stepped in front of her and in the same movement jerked her towards him. She was lifted onto his back into the piggyback position. _The fu-_

The young man looked at her with a bird-like twist of his head, “Is it no good, you don’t like it?” His burgundy brown eyes looked pitifully in her own.

 _Don’t like it, you say..._ Muttering underneath her breath, she looked over his shoulder to some bushes lining the footpath. “Just,” she mumbled as she tightened her grip on the man’s shoulders. “Don’t drop me, please.”

“I won’t let you be killed,” the stranger promised, the angular features of his face softening. He sped up his pace after that.

He, with her on his shoulders, ran across several different paths. They jumped over cut down logs and bushes and evaded trees and poisonous plants.

After he’d put her on her shoulders, thankfully, it took only fifteen minutes more before the bear gave up the towel and slunk back into the greater depths of the forest.

It was in a grove with a water source that he let her feet meet solid ground again.

“Thank you.” Her legs quivering like a coltish beasts’s, she sank to her knees and leaned her back against the knotted tree roots. Now that she wasn’t in a constant state of movement, she could look at him properly.

The man who had led the beast to her and then saved her was tall. She could see his shoulders were broad even covered by the thick material of his eye searingly red longcoat. The buckles at his collarbone had been left open so that the collar popped in a casual fashion. His eyes, as she’d seen before, were a shade of wine burgundy and he had ear length straight brown hair which went with them.

His face was heart shaped and he had high cheekbones, but his smile is what completed the look and enforced the overall feeling of refreshment.

The young man grinned. “Like what you see?”

“....”

 _Oops. I was just openly leering at him, wasn’t I?_ For all it hadn’t been her intention, her once over couldn’t have been more blatant. _Oh no. Oh no._

Her cheeks reddening in embarrassment, Lucy wished the ground would swallow her up. And she’d been so good to avoid something like this _before! Aaaaaah!_

Little did anyone know (since Lucy hadn’t been acquainted with people; she was homeless after all) embarrassment was actually one of her key peeves. She absolutely hated to feel embarrassed for any reason, and so usually conducted herself in ways that would boost her confidence. That meant, generally, not putting herself in a position she could be made the fool, and not being overally familiar with people.

The only option she had left: deny, deny, _deny._

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she sniffed, averting her gaze from the man intently watching her. “Moreover, we haven’t introduced ourselves right? I’m Lucy.”

“My name is Ace.”

Saying so, the young man sat himself down near the stream of water.

That name came in familiar. Ace ace ace ... Ah! Wasn’t that the name of the Castle of Heart’s head of security, the knight of hearts?

“Who’re you?” he asked in return.

She understood he didn’t mean her name this time, and combing a hand through her hair she said bitterly, “A foreigner.”

 Ace shot forwards in his place. “W~ah, an actual foreigner? I’ve met an actual foreigner today?” His voice was absolutely coloured with his excitement.

She winced at his enthusiasm. “Yeah. Guess so.” Really, after how Boris had acted too—was her being an outsider really that interesting?”

“Amazing,” the knight went on like he didn’t hear, “I almost fed a foreigner of all things to a bear....”

Snap, went her tolerance. “That’s not amazing at all! I almost died you know?” She shook her fist at the red bedecked man and he only laughed in response.

“Ha ha ha! You didn’t die right? So does it matter?”

Her head throbbed at this man’s ridiculousness. “Of course it does! Didn’t you _just a moment ago_ comment on it yourself?”

“That’s because I didn’t know you were a foreigner right? Isn’t it natural to be surprised about it?” he asked her, his tone reasonable. His words weren’t!

Lucy shook her head and sighed, relaxing more of her weight onto the knol behind her. “Not to mention, I don’t even know what’s so great about foreigners asides from that myth..” she muttered childishly underneath her breath.

“Well.” The man adjusted himself so he was sitting crosslegged on the earth, a smile blooming on his face. “There really isn’t anything that great about it. But if you befriend a faceless, you’ll lose them easily in the crowd and it’s almost like they belong to that crowd instead of yourself, right? And befriending a fellow roleholder is very difficult when there’s only so much of them! So I think it’d be easy to befriend a foreigner instead.”

“But you’ve never met one before, right?”

She assumed this was the case, since even Boris had talked about foreigners in the realm of myths. But wait- if Peter White, the Heart Castle’s prime minister, knew about the foreigner who’d come before her, she must have stayed at his territory right? Then what if Ace did know?

The man hummed contemplatively. “...Was that the case? No, I did meet a foreigner before you.” As she thought. The earth shifted beneath his knees as he slid forwards. “Her name was Alice. A good friend.”

The smile shrunk on his face, leaving only an ambiguous curve of his lips. “And then she ‘moved.’” He shrugged eloquently after the word, leaving her only more in the dark.

 _This is something I’m already used to._ Ever since she’d entered this world, nothing had made sense. That she wouldn’t know what this moved business was about wasn’t a surprise. She had a feeling the people of this world couldn’t help themselves but act enigmatically and never make things clear.

 _Irritating._ And yet another thing she had to accept. _They’re really starting to pile up, these things._

“But I have to go,” Ace’s voice interrupted her thoughts, before the knight grabbed his sheathed sword from next to him and stood.

“Oh.” Blinking up at him, Lucy refused to believe she felt a bit of disappointment at that fact. Besides, even as she thought that, the spark winked out. This person was just someone new she’d met—and they’d led a bear to her of all things. An acquaintance she cared little about. “Then, be careful going home.” She waved lackdaisaly at him and he smiled in amusement.

“I’ll be sure to!”

With those merry words, Ace turned around and went up the hill. Eventually, disappearing further into the woords.

“Haa~” Lucy exhaled. She leaned with her chin in her hand, boredom quickly taking her over. “Now what am I supposed to do?”

The birds chirped around her didn’t have the answer. Eventually, she just decided to go home.

 “Lucy!”

Waving a carrot at her in welcome, when she went to the kitchens, Elliot was already there busily having lunch. Lucy swept her gaze over the selection of dishes on the platters—all of it carrot. Maybe she wasn’t that hungry...

“Over here!”

Elliot patted the free seat next to him expectantly, and with those shining eyes fixed on her so confidently, though Lucy didn’t actually want to eat any of the dishes there... Lucy sighed and slunk over.

In a magnacious gesture, Elliot handed her a dish made from carrot sticks.

It had probably been a few months since she’d first ended up here. While at first she’d been confused about Blood’s loathing towards carrot, she now knew it intimately. Carrots for breakfast, carrots for lunch, even carrots for dinner when he could get away with it and carrots in between... The avalanche of carrot never stopped.

Lucy didn’t particularly hate carrot, and mixed in with other stuff, it could even be nice once in a while. But she was confident even the most steadfast carrot lover would go on hunger strike if they had to endure this constant atmosphere of carrots.

It maybe wouldn’t be that bad if she could simply refuse to eat with Elliot, and thus only have to endure watching the man eat carrots with everything. Sadly, his shining eyes, his expectancy and everything else was pretty pressuring. Usually Lucy gave in to the carrots rather than disappointing him.

Lucy, quite frankly, could be called a pushover.

“Ugh....” Letting out a groan, she dipped her carrot into an accompanying sauce and began to nibble.

_Curse my easily moved heart!_

Afterwards, once he’d polished of his own meal, Elliot started up a conversation.

“You’ve been going out of the territory a lot recently. Is it getting boring here?”

She shook her head, trying to keep her carrot induced misery from showing on her face. “I just wanted a change of space. I’ve been staying inside this residence only for quite a while.”

“Let me see,” Elliot ticked on his fingers, “You’ve been going to the amusement park for a while now so you know Boris and Gowland, and today you met the knight of hearts-“

“Are you counting the roleholders I’ve met so far?” Her chair creaked as she relaxed more into the cushion. _Hey, wait a sec-_ “How do you know I’ve met the knight of hearts?”

Elliot shifted his elbows further down the armrests of his chair. “It’s my job to know everything that goes on in this territory. And besides, you’re our guest you know.” He waved an indicating hand at her.  

Were they keeping track of her? ...Did she care?

She didn’t have much input on that. “Huh. Okay.”

Elliot leaned backwards. “So what do you think of the other territories so far? Ours is the coolest right!?”

Lucy took a moment to honestly ponder the matter, and it took only a moment for her to agree. “Yeah.”

She’d already thought about that before. The Hatter Mansion was ideal for her purposes, since it was quiet, and she could also socialize when she wanted. She hadn’t entered the castle yet so she didn’t know what that place was like. Though with how the queen and the prime minister were said to be, she doubted she’d feel safe there. The amusement park she’d been to several times before was always busy, and now with her having become acquainted to Gowland and his music... _Yeah, no._

“You think that about us even-though you don’t like our gatekeepers?” Elliot raised his eyebrows at her, apparently not so enthusiastic he didn’t notice her quiet pondering.

“You’re right, “ she said, nodding at his sharp words. “That was in my mind, since this place to me is linked to the twins. But I still am very thankful to Blood for letting me stay.”

She hadn’t had an actual roof underneath her head for so long. She couldn’t be ungrateful. Well, though that would’ve been the same if this place was a shack--it was still more than she had before. But the mansion was better than she could have imagined, so she was thankful even above that.

“That does remind me, though.” Saying so, Lucy clasped her hands together with a solemn face. “Can you possibly tell me why the twins like me that much? Enough that they sought me out in that other world?” She looked down at her knuckles and said in frustration, “It doesn’t make sense to me.”

If she couldn’t get the true reason out of the twins (undoubtfully, they’d say it was because she was just that loveable, or maybe that they pititied her) Lucy wasn’t that prideful she wouldn’t ask someone else. That it was Elliot was just a coincidence though.

Elliot roughly smoothed back his hair. “Why those two like you? Aaa, that’s something I don’t know either. The brats previously only liked money, fighting and slacking of. I didn’t even think they had it in them to like a girl....”

She frowned at his words. “That’s not possible, right? Even if they’re children a lot of the time, they’re adults too. They really haven’t had previous relationships with other girls?”

“They did sometimes go around with Alice when she would come visit, but otherwise, none that I know of.”

From his careless tone of voice, she presumed that wasn’t something she should take seriously. But Alice was also an outsider, just like Lucy. And earlier she’d thought that maybe the brothers liked outsiders and had picked her for that reason. She couldn’t not connect the dots.

“Hey.” Elliot, sensing something was wrong, reached out to touch her shoulder and said slightly panicky, “The brothers _definitely_ like you, okay? Please don’t cry.”

Her? Cry?

 _...No!_ Lucy hadn’t been about to cry at all! That he even said she was going to was insulting. Narrowing her eyes into a glare, she slapped his hand from her shoulders and said, “That’s _not_ what I was going to do. I _don’t_ care about those brothers,” in a snake’s hiss.

Her hair on end, she was practically bristling. Elliot moved his hand backwards placatingly. “Okay okay. I won’t speak about it anymore.”

Which meant he still thought she liked the brother, when liking them was such a selfish thing. That could bring any girl’s blood to boil, but Lucy cooled herself of with the thought, _here in Wonderland, the brothers aren’t anything special._ They weren’t especially violent. In fact, the way they acted was in line with their job. Even Elliot was like that: killing others for the sake of his job.

He wasn’t insulting her saying it how it was. She didn’t _like_ the brothers—how they could be so violent that the word blood was included even in their title; how they had kidnapped her from her world without asking her first, etc. She didn’t like them, but for some reason their opinion of her was important to her, and because of that she at least cared for them.

Lucy closed her eyes with the knowledge that she’d overreacted splendidly. “...Sorry, Elliot.”

She could only apologise and hope her ill temper hadn’t led to any hurt on the bunny man’s part.

“No, not your fault. I was also being pushy.” Trying to be polite, with a wave of his hand, Elliot swept the matter aside. She still felt bad, but if Elliot was fine with it, Lucy decided she was too.

She changed the subject, inquiring about Blood and they talked for a while more before Elliot had to excuse himself again to go back to his work. When he was gone, Lucy swung her legs back and forwards on the kitchen’s bench, muttering to herself, “...Am I really that obvious.”

She closed her eyes and dropped backwards with a sigh. “In that case...maybe I should just give it up.”

Fighting back against the circumstances that brought her here was getting tedious. Becoming scared that people would judge her for liking Dee and Dum despite them having kidnapped her, and being the bloody twins, was also getting irritating. Since staying here was only going to be a temporary thing anyway...

... _That’s right. It’s temporary._

....She should just do what she wanted without thinking about the consequences.

_Also, to begin with, what consequence was worse than landing on a park bench?_

She’d already reached the bottom. With that in mind, she’d never tried crawling back to the top. Back home, her reputation was already in shreds so she’d felt the need to move country. But on only her seconth day in this new place, she found out that she’d been taken for a fool; had all her luggage stolen from her (which had also acted as the only belongings she’d had) and found out from the landlord’s mouth himself that she’d been late in arriving so he’d leased the house to some couple instead.

Such a series of events to anyone else would be marvelously unlucky, but they wouldn’t get so down on the dumps over it that they would choose a park bench to sleep at that they knew the people from the city never used.

But to Lucy, who was used to such events, which had been happening steadily to her since that moment in middle school, she’d felt resigned over it and had pushed on to where she’d thought she’d end up at anyway.

Something like this shouldn’t act as motivation to act even more brazen, yet Lucy felt her mood rising at the thought. That was right, _she was already at rock bottom._ She wasn’t yet so brazen to think, _the only way left is up,_ but either way, even if the consequences were dire, she’d handled becoming homeless hadn’t she? So wouldn’t she be able to handle anything now?

And to add to her good mood, two time turns later while she’d been strolling the residence out of nothing to do, Dee and Dum turned up.

“We’re free today,” the twins accosted her in the back garden.

Dum’s arms around her, she tilted her head as if to say ‘so?’

“I thought you wanted to go to the Heart’s Castle?” Dee replied, his long hair brushing against his jawline as he spoke. Again, the brother had come to her wearing their older bodies.

“That would be nice,” she replied, after a moment to think about it.

Honestly speaking, she’d almost thought the brothers had forgotten all about the visit. But it wasn’t like that; they just didn’t have the time until now. Thinking like this, Lucy felt a trickle of warmth enter her heart.

She didn’t protest when her arms were latched onto from both sides, before the two brothers pulled her onto the road.

The trip to the Heart’s Castle from the mansion didn’t take long. The time turned twice, the blue sky turning a deep black before seemingly skipping backwards to the orange of dusk.

The brothers chatted with her while they were on the way.

“What have you been doing recently when brother and I aren’t there?”

“You went to the amusement park? What did you do there?”

“Do you like Boris better than us?”

...It was more like an interrogation than a chat, though.

Lucy shook her head woefully as she sauntered down the stone steps, and she replied to them in turn, “My business with Boris is my own. What I do on my own time is also my own business. Do you two have anything interesting to speak about?” _Anything other than about me,_ Lucy thought without much hope in her heart.

“But Lucy, brother and I haven’t seen you in so long!” Dee exploded. “We missed you!”

He hugged the arm he was holding tighter, his blue eyes twinkling.

“M- Missed me?” Lucy stuttered the words. She had expected that, but hearing it be said so boldly was something different.

“Mm-hm! It feels like years went by since we saw you last.” Dum purred the last in her ear, tickling the shell and she jolted and leaned her head the other way. Of course, Dee was there, so all she achieved was getting her neck close enough to the blue-eyed brother to wrap his arm around her abdomen and lay a kiss against the back of it.

“...ups.” She teetered, and only his grip was what kept her up.

Dum stepped after her and brushed a hand against the side of her face, tickling the skin there.

“Lucy’s surprised face is cute too.” He glanced over her shoulder at his brother, “Why didn’t we think of doing this earlier?”

“What are you saying brother. You vetoed it, didn’t you?” Dee answered from behind her, and lightly stroked her waistline through her tunic.

Lucy was turning completely red, goosebumps breaking out from the spot the long haired brother had touched.

“Haha, that’s right,” Dum giggled light heartedly, and deftly moved to wrap his arms around her shoulders. Though he was touching his brother also, he didn’t seem to pay it much mind. “We didn’t want to scare you before you were completely used to it,” he explained for her benefit.

 _Completely used to what?_ Lucy arched an eyebrow at the brother doing a good impression of a koala hanging from a tree branch (the branch being her neck). _Being treated like this..? That’s not something I can get used to, you know._

But, she felt that warmth from earlier become a bonfire, ventilating the oxygen faster through her pumping arteries. If she actually talked now, she knew she’d stumble over her words so to keep at least some of her dignity, she stayed mum.

“What do you think brother. She’s better than money, isn’t she?” Grinning from ear to ear, the long haired twin asked offhand to the other. Not saying anything, Dum nuzzled his cheek affectionately against her own. Lucy herself remained glued to the ground. 

“But money is still better than free time,” Dum threw down the gauntlet once he was done with the gesture.

That struck a tone of discord with his brother, who pouted, “No it isn’t-“ and reached out to slap his brother’s head.

Now grinning also, Dum confidently dodged it and readjusted his grip on her only minutely in the midst of the move.

“Oi oi.” Lucy snapped out of her tree impression. “Don’t fight while I’m in the middle like this,” she scolded. She was already having flashbacks of when they’d used their axes against an actual human being. She didn’t want to be anywhere near them if they started a fight.

“...!”

Suddenly, she noticed something out of place on the brothers—they weren’t holding onto their axes. She couldn’t help mention it out loud.

“What, that surprises you?” Dee asked as he let go of her. “I didn’t know you noticed our axes so much. Should we get them back, brother?”

The last was of course aimed at Dum.

Dum also let go, stepping to the side to he was at the spot he started at. “We got rid of our axes for you, Lucy,” he explained as his brother hadn’t, an unhappy glint in his eyes. “And now you’re saying you didn’t want us to.”

Uck. They had gotten rid of their axes (probably just for today) for her? Lucy could get scared at the degree of influence she had over these two twins, especially since a while ago, she’d been unlucky to catch the twins in a serenade aimed specifically at said axes. They liked their weapons _a lot._

Seeing they were still waiting for her reaction, she flapped her hands in negative. “Of course I like it that you two would do that for me!” But, she explained, “we’re going to the castle of hearts, and the reason you two are escorting me there is because it’s dangerous. I- I don’t want to be shot by the Prime Minister or beheaded by its Queen.”

It felt shameful for her to be scared at that when she’d turned down Boris’s offer to herself wield a gun. It felt like she didn’t have the right, when she could just as easily arm herself or get herself bullet proof clothing to protect herself. Since she didn’t, that meant she didn’t have the right to seek protection from these two—to ask them to risk their lives for her or even take other people’s lives for her.

“Ohh, is that all?” Laughed Dum, and walking up the road he folded his arms behind his head “The people we’ll meet there are only _canon fodder._ The soldiers are nothing but faceless, and the maids aren’t even taught an inch of combat because the Queen doesn’t think they need it. If Ace was there, it might be worrisome, but he’s never there so we’re in the clear.”

Seeing his carefree attitude, Lucy was going to start worrying for real.

“Besides,” his brother said, gesturing with upturned palms, “The only one you need to be afraid for is the Prime Minister. Since you’re not Alice, and he might think you’re here to replace Alice, he might be insulted by your very existence and want to put you full of holes!”

Dum shook his fist at the sky at his brother’s words. “That’s so, that’s so! That’s why we couldn’t let you go alone! But Lucy, you don’t have to be afraid. Even though we don’t have our axes out,” he patted the space of his pocket, and winked, “we still have them with us. A roleholder is _always_ armed.”

 _Since I’m not Alice,_ she thought, mentally tasting those words. _Replacing Alice?_

Only now, with widening eyes her only reaction, did she realize that was what she was afraid of too. Lucy, from the moment she’d been kidnapped and the terror twins had shown so much affection towards her, had wondered why she’d been chosen out of all people. Why not a girl from Wonderland?

Remembering the scorn in Dum’s voice when he’d called the faceless maids canon fodders, she now knew why the brothers didn’t take any of them. Clearly they didn’t think very much of the faceless. But that left the question as to why they’d chosen her from the world she’d come from, when there should’ve been many outsiders they could’ve chosen instead. A whole planet full.

From the conservations she’d had on the matter, it looked like Alice hadn’t been that special a person to the Hatter Mansion compared to the roleholders from the Castle of Hearts. The roleholders from her place had also warned her about Peter White’s reaction towards her would be like. If he couldn’t bare to see his Alice replaced, then-

_Could I possibly?_

Could Lucy trust that it was herself the twins were interested in, and not someone else? Just like how Peter White was only interested in Alice. That was an interesting theory, and maybe if Lucy had been a girl with more self-esteem, she might’ve been able to believe it. But Lucy was Lucy, and such a theory seemed too good to be true.

Most likely, that meant it was _not_ true.

“So did we do good?” the twins broke out in synchronization, breaking her from her thoughts. Lucy looked at them, seeing their eyes glitter wantonly in the light of the stars (while they’d been walking, the sky had changed).

Right, they’d just told her they were keeping their axes concealed so as to not cause her worry. _Though it’s not the axes in itself that I have problems with._ After all, she was the sort of person who’d used to have a collection of knives and such things herself, simply because she thought them cool. Even if she’d never use weapons herself.

But she couldn’t say that to the fresh, expectant faces of the twins so she put on a smile. “Yes. You cared for what I’d think, so thank you.”

Smiles blooming on twin faces, she knew she’d made the correct choice.

That was the end of their walk. Right after that, they’d arrived at the bush maze that was the entrance to the Castle of Heart’s territory. While previously Lucy had told the twins to behave and not hurt any of the faceless, now she’d come here with a mission she couldn’t back away from. Though they were sneaking in, if anyone saw them and the alarm was pulled, Lucy was going to close her eyes and plug her ears and let the brothers to it.

She felt heartless thinking about it. (If it weren’t for her, the maids and soldiers might keep their lives) It was that sort of feeling. But she felt like Peter White had answers crucial to her continued life here, and the answer to whether she could fully put her trust into the brothers’ hands for however long she stayed. _It’s worth it, right--?_

Either way, it was too late now she’d given Dee and Dum the go ahead. Crouching low and close to the bush next to her, Lucy followed behind the two as they snuck into the first area of the rose maze.

Two guards were posted in front of the stairs at the end of the maze.

A maid was carrying laundry down the path, and another was simply pacing back and forwards admiring the flowers.

First, they had to pass the maid to get to the gap in the bushes opposite them.

Making no noise, Dee pulled a button from his suit and gestured towards his brother. “Yeah, what is it?” the boy whispered, his lips barely moving. The blue-eyed twin smiled loftily and bounced lightly on the heels of his shoes, vulpinely bending his knees when he hit stone so he wasn’t being noisy. Lucy didn’t know what that meant but Dum, moving to position himself behind his brother, seemed to.

He gripped his brother hips and heaved him up, enough to be able to look over the bush they were hiding behind. With a jerk of his hands he chucked the button to the left of the path over the bush, and his brother quickly dropped him, the tap of his feet on the floor and the tink of the button dropping masking each other.

The maid’s humming stopped. “—Hm? What’s that noise?”

 _So that’s what the brothers where up to,_ Lucy thought.

With a scrape of her shoe against stone, the maid turned directions.

Just as planned.

The twins whispering out in synchronisation, “Now!”, pulled her after them as they rushed towards the gap the maid had just left open. They crossed before the maid could turn her head and look.

Even then, at the other side of the bushes, they didn’t dawdle.  Guessing the woman was going to turn back soon, the three of them slunk through the bushes and only stopped when they road they took was converging on the other maid’s.

 _So far so good,_ Lucy thought and cooled her heels. She sharpened her ears for any footsteps approaching them, but the maid admiring the flowers kept on her tread path.  

So she looked towards the brothers to see what they would do.

Dee and Dum’s eyes were filled with predatory purpose while kneeling next to her on the stone. She could see the thoughts whirling behind their even-tempered countenance.

 _They’re really irritated I’m not letting them kill any servants._ As expected.

Lucy hardened her heart against the possibility that they might, very soon, start going on a rampage. After all, they’d promised her not to kill if everything went as planned, but there hadn’t been a plan from the beginning. In that case, didn’t they have a loophole were not-killing was concerned?

This was what she thought, so she had to be on her tiptoes in case it would happen. _I’m not going to let it affect me—_ Lucy gritted her teeth against the anticipatory pang of sadness— _I’m not--_

A weight dropped on her shoulder and Lucy rotated her head. It was Dee.

“I can just see the thoughts gathering behind your eyes like storm clouds,” the boy mused. He cocked his head, “So even after we’ve done alll this, you still don’t trust us?”

It seemed, like she for them, the brothers were aware of her true sentiments. _But I really can’t trust you,_ she thought, staring indolently into the brother’s sharp blue eyes.

The gravel shifted as Dum moved around his brother and took a hold of her chin between his fingers, the sensation of his nails grazing the skin mildly uncomfortable. She didn’t move though, as he said, “What do we need to do to make you believe us? There’s so many actions we have and haven’t taken with _you_ in mind, hey Lucy. Please tell me? How can brother and I finally become deserving of your trust?”

The sharpness of the accusation in his words made her feel unwell, and she grimaced as she shifted backwards. Dum leaned forwards, not letting her escape, and the solemn prick of his red eyes made her feel even worse.

“What do we need to do?” Dee echoed besides his brother, his voice as soft as a down blanket but it’s effect landing just as gently, but suffocatingly, on her.

Lucy pondered, clearing her mind  of the affects of the brothers’ closeness. _What do they need to do, to gain my trust?_ The expected answer, if she was still listening to her previous world’s morals, was to _not be_ homicidal maniacs. Then she’d be able to trust they wouldn’t do anything close to killing people for the funs of it.

The situation was however different here. Here, _everyone_ was a homicidal maniac. She couldn’t be sure that the people the twins fought didn’t have it coming, or that it was a good idea for them to not get into the habbit of picking a fight with anyone who came near, considering the bucket load of enemies the mafia had. For their own safety, it’d probably be better for them to be ready and willing to fight anyone at every time.

Likely, Lucy had misunderstood that battle readiness as bloodlust in the moment, thinking the brothers were at the apex of betraying her and creating needless corpses. _Oh no, so that’s what it is._ The brightness in Lucy’s eyes dimmed as she lowered her gaze to her folded hands in her lap. They had accused her because she had just acted as if they were devoid of trustworthiness when they wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her.

_I’m such a fool._

It reminded her...

...

...

...

_Years ago._

_Lucy tightened her grip on the chains of the swingset, busily not looking in his direction._

_“C’mon, you still mad at me Lucy?” Clamont smooth tenor called out, from where he was perched on the monkey bars to the side and the back of her._

_Her back prickled underneath his gaze, and Lucy felt her cheeks starting to flush. “’M not.”_

_“What was that?”_

_Clearing her throat, she repeated in a higher volume, “I’m not mad at you Mont. I know your parents don’t like mine.” Since, after all, her parents could act really embarrassing when they wanted to. So of course it’d be her they’d first blame if Clamont broke his toy or that vase one time or that time he nicked the key of his dad’s office._

_That she actually thought for a moment it was his fault-_

_She didn’t feel angry. Just ashamed._

_Noticeable warmth entered his tone after that. “Right! It isn’t my fault they hate them, and we know the truth. I_ know _the truth. So come up on these monkey bars and play with me?”_

_“..Okay.”_

_...._

_...._

_...._

They arrived at the main garden after a longer walk.

“Now what do we do?” Lucy asked, flat on the ground in front of the fence which surrounded it. There were soldiers and maids standing inside the garden, so they didn’t want to be seen.

“Now we’ll call out for Peter White,” said Dee with an impish smile, “And _they’ll_ have to bring him here if they don’t want to die.”

_What-_

The bloodthirsty boy hopped over the fence and into view, followed closely by his twin, not bothering to explain himself.

In a flash of white light, they drew out their battle axes and took fighting positions and were finally noticed by the surrounding occupants who all drew their swords in a clatter of metal.

“Do not be alarmed!” Dum shouted above this. “We just want Peter White. Bring out the White Rabbit!”

The soldiers charged, ignoring his words, and he swung his axe to parry the swords stuck out at him. The metal clanged as it connected, and his brother quickly stepped to support him, swiping for their abdomens. The two soldiers at the front of the charge had to jump back to avoid being skewered, and the rest had to dodge to evade them.

She could barely see the curve of Dum’s lips as the soldiers scattered, likely what he’d wanted, before the brothers split up and began to fight in earnest. It was chaos.

_Didn’t he just want a hostage to use to call out the man?_

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut again—this was certainly not something she wanted to see.

It was at that moment that a voice called out, “What is this nonsense? The castle’s soldiers can’t even stop an invasion force of just two hoodlums?” The voice absolutely _dripped_ with disdain as it sketched that last bit.

“White Rabbit!” the twins celebrated in chorus.

 _White rabbit?_ Lucy shot up in surprise, but the fence was in the way. She stood and used her arms to haul herself over, to see a man of average size and pristine white bunny ears stare icicles at the brothers.

“We’re not an invasion force,” Dee disagreed in cheer, and he smiled at her over his shoulder. “Our outsider just wanted to ask you a few questions.”

The soldiers from the garden (thankfully, not dead) cried in synchronisation, “Outsider!?” They began to whisper to one another.

“-That’s not possible-“

“-Is it true?-“

“-Another outsider?”

Peter White sneered, his face not softening an inch. “And?”

He was the only one who remained unsurprised (or most likely, uncaring).

Lucy took the moment to walk over and gestured with turned around palms. “I wanted to ask you a few questions about ‘Alice.’”

The man’s face grew dark at her words. “You want to know about Alice,” he finished flatly.

Lucy could see he was discontent with the thought, but didn’t care even one bit. She’d come here for a purpose, and a small explanation wouldn’t cost him any. Someone had almost died from this.

So she went blithedly on with her explanation: “I’m an outsider. My residence told me about the fact that Alice moved, but I don’t know much further than that. What does it mean to move?” She sketched.“Why did Alice move? If a person moves, can they move back? Do I have to worry about it and etcetera?”

Pressing the heel of his palm against his forehead, the man released a terse sigh. “And you couldn’t have sent a courier with your questions, you had to come here yourself.”

“You would have killed one,” was the brother’s common consensus to that.

“Of course, what did I expect from a mobster,” the man disdained and flicked his silver eyes on her, his gaze strangely heavy.

Lucy, not moving, locked eyes with the man.

Eventually, he snorted and a cloud of tension fell away from the surrounding area. He pivoted on his feet, and said over his shoulder, “I have an audience with her majesty the queen to attend. Her majesty lived in this same castle with Alice as well. If you want to know about her this much, than follow me there.”

His goal achieved, he began strolling away.

When they entered the audition room, it was a large hall with an elevated podium at the very end. Three thrones sat on top of the podium, but only one was occcupied. Looking at the woman with hair a darker, plummer shade of red than her own, and wearing a magnificent and complicated looking gown, Lucy presumed this was the queen.

“Oh ho?” The woman questioned, smoky voice on as she swept her gaze over the foursome entering the premises. “Our castle’s prime minister, accompanied by the bloody twins? What a rare event. And,” she went on, with an elegant flick of her fingers, “Who would you be?”

A strange urge overcame Lucy, and she fell onto one knee in homage. Her chin remained held aloft as she introduced herself, “I’m-I’m an outsider. I’m Lucy,” while in the background she panicked about whether a curtesy would’ve been more appropriate and _what are you even doing Lucy, this isn’t your queen-_

“Ah,” Vivaldi breathed airly with the flip of her wrist, leaning to the side of her throne. “If our lofty self remembers correctly, that would make you the Hatter’s outsider. Please,” the red of her lipstick sparkled in the light of the chandelier, “Stand up, you do not need to bow to us.”

Lucy hurried to do so and Peter White moved past her to take his place at his queen’s armrest.

“So?” the queen asked, coquittishly turned her head so she had them in her side view, “A shy woman like you, traveling all the way to our castle your two knights at your side, so romantic. Was there something you wanted from us?”

Lucy grimaced at the woman’s wording. She wouldn’t call them knights, though they were undeniably with her to protect her in case the situation turned awry.

“You don’t like it?” Dum whispered of the side of her and laughed at the expression on her face. Dee shushed his brother while wearing just as broad a smirk.

“She wanted to ask some questions about Alice,” Peter White, sticking himself back into the conversation, revealed.

“Alice!” the queen gasped, before forcibly recollecting herself. In a calmer voice, she continued, “What could you possibly want to know about Alice? She’s gone by now. Alice is no longer pertinent news.”

 _A case of lady doth protests too much,_ Lucy rated impassionately.

“I want to know about why she moved,” she went on to say, the twins remaining silent. “And what does that even mean?”

“How boring,” the queen felt, and looked meaningfully at her prime minister.

He took over the explanation from there.

“Moving happens now and then over the course of time. It’s when the combination of roleholders in a country changes, though there are always twelve roleholders in one country at a time. Excluding April season...”

He grimaced.

“...But nevermind April season. Let me give you an example: we are now in the country of hearts. If you substract Julius and the amusement park, and add the mouse and the dream demon, with everything else remaining the same: that’s the country of clover.”

“And Alice?” Lucy asked.

Peter White adjusted his glasses. “She moved herself while we all stayed behind, entering the country of Diamonds, a place where we’re locked out from.”

His eyes flashed, showed his deep irritation at this fact.

Lucy opinioned, _how anticlimatic._ So that was it then, basically? Sometimes the people inside this country moved, and other times they didn’t, and it was just something that happened? Explained why when she asked Blood he just offered her something vague.

"Right, so another thing..." Lucy hesitated for a second before bulldozing onwards- "Why did you choose Alice to take here to wonderland?"

The white rabbit-eared man sniffed disdainfully. "do you really think there was a choice? There wasn't," he went on to say, standing prim and proper behind her highness's back. "It's because I wanted Alice here that I took her here. It's that simple."

If Lucy understood correctly, he was saying it wasn't because he wanted an outsider here that he took Alice from her home, but that he wanted Alice, outsider status outside.

Lucy flickered her green eyes to the casually at rest twins. Is it the same for them? _Can I let myself trust that it is?_

"Naturally, if it wasn't my dear Alice, nobody else would've possibly done, including yourself," she heard the prime minister drone on in the background. "It's an insult to her that you even think you are on the same level."

From the way his face emptied of all emotion but a dark glare, she assumed this line of questioning was no longer welcome. What else to ask, what else to ask....

Oh!

Lucy twisted her fingers behind her back and asked, "Is it true that only by filling the medicine bottle, will I be able to go home?"

One of the twins immediately whined, "You don't trust what Dee and I said? It's definitely true."

"Right, we're not lying to you anymore, brother and I promised!" The other twin resolutely joined the whining.

The queen laughed. "Ohohoho~ It really does seem to us that those two are smitten with you."

Lucy eyed the elegantly sprawling woman askew at the non sequitur.

The prime minister was the only one who didn't comment, though the glare did fade from his face. "That medicine bottle..." He trailed of, contemplatively.

"Yes?" Lucy pressed, not able to bear waiting now answers were so near to her.

"It's the same kind I gave my darling Alice." His silver lashes bat against the skin underneath his eye line as he dropped the twins a measuring look. "I don't suppose they also helped you drink it," and here he shuddered, "By sharing your germs, perhaps?"

On automatic her lips inched downwards like an anchor was weighing down the corners when she thought back on the incident.

The prime minister, not needing anymore agreement, closed his eyes and breathed through his nose and muttered something about "copy cats."

Lucy's nails dug into the skin if her palms. This isn't what I want to know. What I want to know is- "And? If she'd filled the bottle with interaction, it would've let her go home in the end?"

The prime minister gave her a narrow stare through silver eyes. "her game was set up in such a way that the bottle was a measuring gauge to how far she needed to go. It was based on Alice's character." His voice was snooty, like she should already know this.

"I don't know your character, so the liquid level in the bottle may indicate something entirely different," finished Peter. He raised his voice pointedly, "for my darlings sake, I made sure to understand every minutia of the process, unlike those brazen copycats of yours."

"That's unfair!" The twins snapped to attention, and threw looks filled with daggers at the cleanly dressed rabbit. As one, they turned to her.

"You don't believe this stinking rabbit right?" "You know we wouldn't make a mistake like that, right?

"But, Peter White is saying the process you used on me was individualized specifically for Alice," she told them, raising her arms to her sides in a gesture of hopelessness.

Dun caught her wrist and stepped closer to her. "Brother and I kept that in mind. It's just that, character wise, the part with the bottle is something you have in common with Alice."

"And that's all," his brother finished.

That's all she needed to know.

Of course, Lucy was not an idiot, so she did recognize there were things the brothers were keeping from her. But she wasn't going to take Peter Whites word over them, when said prime minister was actively malicious versus the twins' innocent negligence. 

“Then, I still have one question. Why was I able to get here? I mean, how go the mechanics behind the outsiders and the roleholders and just everything?”

Lucy remembered the hole, and falling into it. She also remembered it going on for a long time before it slowed as they landed—impossible, in other words.

“Hmm, how boring!” Dee interrupted, grabbing her by the arm so she’d pay attention to him. “ _We_ could tell you that!”

“So they can,” Peter White cut in. “If that’s all, you pests, then disappear from my sight.”

Lucy’s eyebrow shot up. _Then why did you want us to talk to the queen again?_

“Oh no, don’t go yet. We want to have a tea party with the new outsider,” the lady Vivaldi said.

 _Oh. That’s probably why,_ Lucy guessed.

Before she could answer in opposition one of the twins’ wrapped his arm around her throat from the back, whining, “I don’t want to. Can’t we just go?”

Actually, the mental fatigue from the whole situation was also starting to wear her out. Usually a tea party is a good way to relax, but Lucy doubted going on a tea party with a queen known to _behead people_ was going to freshen her up.

So Lucy said, “We’ll come over in six time changes to have tea, but for now, Blood will be expecting me back home.”

The woman stared penetratingly at her in silence for a moment, but Lucy never broke _._

 _“_...As you will. Then, we expect to see you tomorrow. Dismissed.”

The brother’s immediately dragged her out of there.

That night, Lucy sat down on the edge of her bed and felt increasingly angry. She’d finally had that discussion with Peter White and had gotten nothing out of it. Sure, she now knew more about the world worked, if only a limited amount of roleholders could stay in one country at a time is what made a country...but outside from that? Nothing.

Partly it was her fault, she knew, that she hadn’t asked any further questions. But with the twins there, watching her everyone move, she hadn’t felt able to. She felt angry that they’d followed her to the castle even if in order to protect her, angry that there had been outsiders before her who’d been kidnapped into this land, angry that she still wasn’t here so that Lucy could compare their two stories.

Angry about a lot of things. But most of all, angry that the twins were products of this world’s twisted society, and so she couldn’t let go of herself even now.

Lucy hadn’t always been a very morale person. Back in her past, during middle school, she’d actually been a very easily influenced fool. She’d been the lacky of a sociopathic little boy, trusting that his actions were right, and letting him direct her as he wished. She’d still believe him right to this day, because she really had been so self absorbed she hadn’t noticed the hurt he caused others, simply taking his every word and act as gospel...if he hadn’t discarded her.

 _She’d_ ended up being the bad guy in the end, in the eyes of others. But that had left lasting scars. Even now, Lucy could no longer trust in her own judgement. Furthermore, her tendency to look towards others for the proper way to act had only been intensified, which meant that with nobody to model herself against, Lucy was absolutely paralyzed.

In a whole new world, with new cultural values and norms to learn, _what was wrong and what was right?_ Because Dee and Dum had kidnapped her, she felt they had to be wrong, so she couldn’t listen to them either. Yet, she most definitely wanted to, because _she needed_ someone to model after.

She’d have liked it if their affection for her didn’t play a role in her wish for them to be right, but she knew it had been her affection for Clamont that had led her astray. Because he had praised her and spoiled her and she was easily moved by emotional things like that, and the twins were trying to do the same to her as well, making it even more difficult...

Well. Probably not trying, but actually did feel affection towards her. But even if they did, they were the bloody twins. They were the **Bloody Twins** _. Remember this, Lucy!_ She reprimanded herself, flopping backwards onto her covers.

Lucy took the medicine bottle from her pants pocket, and dangled it between her fingers above her head.

“There’s a very noticeable increase in liquid, huh?”

At least that was one thing she knew the twins were correct about.

_....Is that really true?_

Lucy narrowed her eyes, tilting the cylinder so the liquid fell to the other end of the bottle. “What sort of game is this?”

A game where she needed to visit others to regain the liquid she’d previously swallowed from this bottle.

“As if time itself is running back..”

It was strange.

Lucy hardened her gaze on the bottle, feeling more and more suspicious about its true nature. Just like she was towards the people of this world, who weren’t what they seemed.

End chapter.


	4. Grey Bars/Facades

### Chapter four: Facades  


But keeping that in mind was pretty hard when she spent the next dozen of time changes hanging out with those same inhabitants. Going on walks with the Hatter family, oohing and aahing over Boris’s gun collection (and again, politely rejecting offers for one) visiting the Heart’s castle for an adrenaline rushed tea time with the Queen, and so on.

Lucy dangled her legs back and forwards over the edge of her seat, pushing the thought to the back of her mind as she obliged the rabbit in conversation. “So what do you have against rabbits, persay?”

Elliot, sitting behind the round tea table with a stack of documents in front of him, twitched his ears attentively. “You think I have something against rabbits? That’s a weird question to ask. I don’t think anything about rabbits.”

“Yeah,” Lucy reasoned, her gaze hovering over the top of his head, “But you’ve been very insistent that you’re not a rabbit, nor that you like carrots, despite eating it in so many different dishes.” She cocked her brow at the frowning look he gave her. “Don’t you think so yourself?”

Elliot grumbled, and popped of the lid of the pen he was holding with his teeth, mumbling through it, “You and the twins both keep on saying I’m a rabbit! I’m not! You’d also be irritated if people kept on mistaking your species, that’s a natural thing to do.”

“Yeah.” Lucy pinched the handle of her tea cup within her fingers, running her nail against the ceramic just because. “But there’s the fact that eating carrots, no matter what form they take, is something rabbits *love* doing. You have to admit that rabbit or not, you do have aspects which are rabbit-like.”

The mafia’s number two made a sour face in contradiction.

Deciding to stop beating around the bush, Lucy pointed one long nailed finger at the man’s...appendages. “Not the mention the fact you have rabbit ears.”

Gasping in horror, Elliot’s hands flew up to flatten protectively said appendages against his skull. “These aren’t rabbit ears. I’m not like that bastard White Rabbit, dammit!”

Lucy rocked forwards on the seat, coming to sit at it’s edge menacingly. “What’s that you say? Not rabbit ears?” She whipped out her victory item—a powder box the Queen had leant her—showing him his reflection inside of it.

Elliot gasped again before fervently shaking his head in refusal, the pen falling out of his numb fingers. “That’s not me!”

“Ah.” She buffed her nails and looked slyly at the musclebound mobster from underneath her eyelashes, placing the powder box on top of the table. “But au contraire. This says you are, and you can’t lie against reality, can you?”

“Lucy, you’re so mean!”

She preened underneath those words of his, finding them most fitting. Better to become the instigator rather than the one instigated against.

Eventually, Elliot capitalized on part of it.

“Okay, so I have rabbit-like aspects, like ears and how I like carrot dishes.”

He sounded like the words were painfully and physically being dragged out of him.

“But!” He continued, holding his index finger aloft, “You like carrot dishes too, so you’re also rabbit-like!”

 _Where did you get that from!?_ Inwardly, Lucy screamed.

She collapsed forwards onto the table, narrowly missing the document pile. “Okay, fine.” _I can already see getting you to admit any more is a lost cause._

"Hey, Lucy!" Came two twin calls after that, and when she turned her head she could see the twins sprinting over the finely cut grass towards her.

Their speed petered down when they approached the table, Dee jogging in place while Dee swaggered up to the piece of furniture.

Bam- he slammed his palms down hard onto the table and said, "Lucy, brother and I know what you like to do. Your faceless told us."

He grinned. "Want to explode some left over mines with us?"

Ignoring Elliot grumbling about being more gentle with Bloods property, she said "Sure, but.” She tilted her head from behind the edge of the table, before raising her cup upwards to show she wasn’t done having tea yet.

His smile was like sunshine. “That’s okay! Dum and I’ll wait here!”

Without another word, the brothers sought out their seats and did just that.

The place they ended up taking her was the clearing the uniformed man she’d befriended had brought her to.

“Isn’t this place where the mines are?” she murmured half to herself, taking her first step out into the grassy plain, her heel slightly sinking into the dirt. 

Dee nodded enthusiastically. “M-hm. Your faceless told us you like blowing up the mines here, and we like blowing up things in general, so we thought it might be fun!” Behind him, his shorter haired brother was loading up bullets into the cylinder of a gun with mod work done to it she could vaguely remember having seen Boris rave about.

 “Fair enough.”

She accepted the gun Dum offered her, and dregged up the memories of her first time handling it.

Lucy pointed the end at a point further down the field.

“So how have you been recently, drooly sis?” Dee asked, watching her push the trigger with hands folded beneath his chin.

Now that was a blast back to the past (and an actual blast, as her bullet hit target- no pun intended). It had been a while since the twins had called her anything but Lucy.

They also didn’t tend to engage in small talk. “You worried about me?” she asked, waiting for the smoke to clear so she could start shooting for mines again.

“Wondering whether you’ve been doing fun stuff without me,” the long-haired mobster’s perpetually cheery voice sounded.

“No, without me!” Came Dum’s call of rivalry over his brother.

Lucy scratched at a metal corner on the gun’s barrel before slotting it back onto her shoulder, tensing for the incoming recoil. Said nothing as the section of the field she targeted went up like a firecracker, hot air blowing past them and tangling up her hair.

"Can you not?" She said, with a grimace. "I'm not up to you twos jealousy right now."

"Tetchy," Dee observed, and she just sent him a look which made him raise his hands in surrender. Also, she belatedly realized she had the guns nozzle turned in his direction and quickly moved it.

"Then, want to know what we've been doing recently?" Dum offered.

They should already know she didn't want to hear about their actions based on that side of the business.. Reasoning so, Lucy agreed.

"We hung out with Boris. He knows all the most interesting places to get into, and its always fun to go where we aren't supposed to," Dum began his tale.

Aiming her nozzle back down the clearing, Lucy squeezed of another shot. The field of explosions looked unassuming. She figured they'd cleaned the scorch marks and assorted other mess since she'd been there last.

...actually, since this was an active mine field, they'd probably had to clean up several times, and most likely of dirt like blood stains and plasticized flesh.

Lucy didn't bother riling herself up over this. People died everyday back home. Atrocities were a common thing. If she got worked up over every single one of them, shed be suffering from empathy related burn out before long.

It was the same here. Eventually she had to admit to herself that she didn't care, and that that wasn't wrong of her. Alas, she had an easier time doing the former than the latter.

It made her wonder... Did the boys suffer from such self incrimination?

She hesitantly raised her voice. "Dee..., Dam, how do you feel when you do something bad?"

"Bad?" Asked Dam, perking up from his silent ruminating at the sound of her voice. "Like when we gravity the front gate, or when brother and I steel the tea flowers from Blood’s stash to sell them on the black market." He actually sounded proud detailing it. But that wasn’t...

"That's not bad," Dee contradicted, echoing her thoughts. He grinned over the gun's metallic white barrel at the two of them. "That's fun."

Shed have to go in more detail. "Not like.. Pranks, or... Well," she tilted her head, "Actually, yes. When you do things like that, Blood and Elliot aren't ever in the fun, are they? Blood especially. I did mean bad like murder or... Hurting someone's feelings, I guess? But that could work too.."

"You're equilizing murder with playing a prank," Dee observed. "Sis... Are you becoming more native already? That's wonderful.” Enthusiastic agreement came from his brother.

Lucy deliberately did not think about how her feelings on this matter hadn't changed since before. It wasn't worth it. She went on, "But.. The blame in peoples eyes as they stare at you afterwards... Or the disdain like they're laughing at you.. Or that they know who you really are now as if everything you are all returns to that one moment of badness, of being a bad girl."

Lucy never wanted to hurt people. She'd never gone out of the way to gain that look. It frightened her to receive it because that meant it wasn't under control, she wasn't under control.

It had been her parents favorite way of disciplining her.

"It doesn't matter if you're sorry, or if you didn't mean it. It all hinges on the other person to accept the apology, they have control over it. They can withhold it forever if they want to, there's not a thing in the world you can do to change it."

"Do you really need forgiveness from people who won’t let you make amends?" Was Dee's reaction to this.

Dum had walked over to cuddle her from behind the moment she'd started her rant, trying to get her mind of off it. It was sweet, so for once in her life, she moved her arms backwards in initiative for a hug.

"If they won’t let you make amends, and yet insist that you should feel terrible for whatever it is you did, doesn't that seem like they're the bad guys here?" Dee hypothesized.

"You're right brother," Dum said, rubbing circles into the knots in her shoulders, relieving her of her tension, her self criminations. "They take your feelings hostage, unable to move forwards, unable to be anything else but the bad girl. They push you into a role for their own self-satisfaction. They want to see you bleed, because it makes them feel better."

Dee finished, looking cynically over the grass field into the distance, "They can’t face themselves, so in order to not get called put over their behavior, they press into your mind that it’s you at fault. That you deserve to feel like a bad child. That you deserve to feel like you can't stand up for yourself, because bad children should feel bad. They're not allowed happy endings."

"But if it did become your role, can anyone blame you? Not in this world, were we all play by our roles."

"If anything, no matter how ordinary, leaves you to feeling this way, then why not go ahead with it? Why remain passive when you can do what you want and not even a thing in you changes? When you know you'll be blamed anyway?"

His words were seductive, but she was trying to parse them beyond their surface laquer. “What are you trying to say? I don’t _want_ to become a bad person, that’s the whole problem.” It was sounding like he wanted her to do the entire opposite; to spite the people who’d put this idea in her mind. But Lucy could never do that.

She replied, with helplessness, “I don’t want to be blamed.”

Dee’s words were a promise: "Here, you won’t be."

They weren’t enough. “Even if you say that-“

Dum’s hand stilled on the outside of her shoulderblade, snapping, “This world is different! In your world it would be bad, but here, everyone plays their roles and gets their dues as they should! It’s different!”

He was taking it... personally? She moved from the warmth of his hand, pivoting on her heel to watch him stand with the backdrop of the field stretching afar. His face was twisted up with emotion. He really did mean it, what he was saying. What they both had been sayin- they..did something...like with her, did something happen to them?

Pain. “U-urgh.” Like someone had taken a sledgehammer to her head, the pain sparked and jumped, purreing the insides of her scalp.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to swallow back the pain. Could see from the corner of her eye Dee drop the ammulition he had been toying with to help her. He caught her before she could fall, feet shuffling backwards a little as he adjusted to her weight.

His arm wrapped around her, his sleeve moving in front of her eyes like a blindfold, a constant “Shhh,” and “Relax, let go, let me help you” and other words of comfort buzzing in her ear.

“Not fair,” Dum’s petulant voice came, from what sounded like up close. “I wanted to catch her brother, not fair.” After repeating himself, a darker shadow crossed her eyes behind the black of Dee’s sleeve, before a hand dropped onto her knee and she heard the grass rustle from Dum dropping into a crouch next to her.

Dee began a gentle rocking movement which managed not to jar her head. It still hurt, by the way. Except the pain had spread so she was crushing her molars to stop herself from moaning. She instead forced herself to pay attention to the solid imprint of Dee against her front, to Dum’s hand on her knee.

Still. Still, even with this pain in her, she still wanted to continue the conversation she’d been having with them. She pushed at the arm spread across her face impatiently. “W-w—why do you understand so well what I’m going through? Almost like you two went th-through it yourselves.”

“You know, Lucy, there’s only one way to get to Wonderland. It’s the same for everyone else,” Dum replied, a non answer.

She felt Dee’s arms tighten around her shoulders as he finished his brother’s sentence. “You need to want to escape.”

...

The castle’s garden was a lot like the Hatter’s, but more magnificent. There was the abundance of roses (check); there was the corner left open on a twenty mile radius for the table meant especially for tea (check); and there was the tea itself, just as high quality and from the queen’s gentle hums as she imbibed on it, the enjoyment was also the same.

Sitting behind the table she was also occupying, listening to these sounds, Lucy felt like maybe she needed to give the tea and the queen their alone time. But then she remembered how Blood was the exact same, and probably wanting to leave her alone and not him was double standards.

It was just that Blood’s voice was gravely and plain weird, like she’d never heard before in her life, but her majesty’s voice was... _how should I put it?_ Smokey and tangible, something that gently carrassed the shell of your ear, that made you want to lean forwards and **listen.** _Probably good for her rule, come to think of it,_ thought Lucy and played idly with the stem of her red roses emblazoned tea cup.

Noticing she was starting to zone out, her majesty put her tea down with a clack and folded her elbows down beneath her as she affixed her attention on Lucy. “Our gratitude for coming to our tea party on time. In Wonderland, punctuation is an especially rare thing, so it means a lot.”

Wondering whether she was just buttering her up, Lucy demurred, “Arriving early is the least someone can be expected to do. If people have been showing up to your parties late, that’s on them.”

The queen’s garnet red eyes lit up with excitement, rays of light practically beaming from her eyes. It was... a bit intense. “Isn’t it? We’re the queen, and we can’t even be gifted with civilized company. Ah, if only we could get new ones by lopping of their heads.” She shook her head at the tragedy of the thought.

Lucy wisely didn’t say anything at it, changing the subject, “But these tea leaves are really good. I think they’re the same type Blood gets?”

“You speak about the Hatter with familiarity,” rather than bite the bait, the queen deduced with a cute expression of intrigue on her face.

“I have been staying at his place for... a year now?” Lucy frowned ponderingly at the liquid in her cup. “So I think we’ve gotten close, as far as landlord and resident go.”

“That’s right.” The woman blinked. “It’s the gatekeepers you are closed to, isn’t it?” She gestured with a tilt of her head at the brothers, in their younger forms, messing around on the steps.

Her shoulderblades knocking against the wood of her seat, Lucy shrugged. “They’re the ones who brought me here. I guess I do know them longer than I do the rest of the Hatter family and I do like them.”

The queen blinked again. “Then is there something blocking you from liking them the most?”

Ah, that was sharp of her. Or maybe it was Lucy who’d been bad at concealing her reluctance where the twins were concerned. 

She crossed her leg underneath the platform of the table, pulling it closer to herself over her other knee. “Nothing but my own shortcomings in this case, I guess.”

Lucy averted the gaze to the twins, who were in the middle of a heated conversation regarding the possibility of a worker’s union, and thought back to the previous day’s events. She looked sideline at the perfectly postured seated figure of the queen. _Dare I ask?_

“Shortcomings?”

 _Yes, I do._ Lucy turned to face the queen straight on, letting her expression sharpen into something more serious. “Can I ask how exactly I got here in Wonderland? And,” she cautioned before the queen could say anything, “I’m not talking about being led here by the twins.”

Lucy hooked her thumb at the twins. “They recently let me know a person is only able to come here if they meet a set parameter?”

The woman nodded her head, her eyes telling Lucy to get on with it.

Lucy took in a deep breath and said, “They spoke about.... escape. Does that mean- am I here because I’m... avoiding reality?”

The queen’s lips parted in an enigmatic smile, “You’re here to play a game. If you win, you get to go home, and if you don’t, you’ll stay here.”

Which was a non-answer if there was ever one. Lucy’s chair creaked a she adjusted herself and thought about it. But, if her winning meant that she got to go home... shouldn’t that mean she wanted to go home? In that case, this place wasn’t an escape for her. If she could extrapolate that from the queen’s vague words...

Lucy remembered there was a game. Unlike her actions recently, she groped for her long forgotten medicine bottle in the bottom of her trouser pocket and took it out. The sun shined through it’s glass walls as she lifted it into the air.

“You’re close to finishing,” the queen observed with a casual glance over the bottle.

Lucy looked down at the bottle. 75% of the bottle was already filled.

“I am.”

They talked a bit more, before Lucy followed Dee and Dum back to their estate.

 **The next day** (or three time changes afterwards)..               

“Hello!”

Lucy was walking on one of the path strewn within the amusement park when she heard the person call her, and was aprehensive to see who exactly it came from.

Uncaring about her caution, Mary Gowland jogged all the way over from a foot cart, only stopping when he neared her.

“I just wanted to say sorry about last time you were here. My freeloader explained it all.” His bushy eyebrows moved while he spoke, and at the last bit, lowered as he lowered his voice in pity. “It’s a shame you’re allergic to all types of music. If it were just violin, I could’ve still shown you my drums...”

Lucy stared placidly up at the muscular man while she let the news sink in. So Boris had lied and told him she was allergic to music.

... _Is that even possible,_ she deadpanned in her mind.

And drums? So not only was he atrocious with the quasi-violin, but also with the drums? ...How bad? ...She probably shouldn’t let her morbid curiosity rule her and ask, shouldn’t she.

The man scratched the back of his collar in a sheepish gesture, his calm baritone rumbling, “So will you forgive me for not knowing that in time?” He went as far as clapping his hands together in appeasement, which looked ridiculous on a man his towering length and girth.

She felt her aversion towards him drain away with this surprisingly kind treatment and had to turn away in a gesture as bashful as his had been. “Yeah, sure.” Mumbling in her cheeks, “ Besides, you admit you didn’t know it beforehand...”

The man straightened out to his full length at her permission with one clap of his hands. “Good good. Now, since you are a guest and I can’t show you my music, I guess I’ll have to find some other way to entertain you huh!” He walked over to pat her on the shoulder. “There’s a very good restaurant close to here,” He winked, “I’ll buy you a snack.”

“Not carrot,” she said almost on automatic, and the pity was full flowing out of him now.

“You poor thing,” he mourned-she supposed Elliot’s reputation was strong enough to precede him even here-and began steering her up the path, and eventually to a shopping street in walking distance of the rest of the attractions. An easy place to take a break, in other words.

“So, what do you think about that cat?” Gowland asked her while there were still on the way.

Moving past the flowing crowds, Lucy had to think about that for a second, before coming down with, “He’s a friend. It’s easy being with him and he always has fun things to do, which I like about him.” Even with his habit of teasing her, she liked him.

“I see. He’ll be glad to hear that,” he observed, before he led her to one of the terrasses to the side of the street, and they sat down.

Lucy decided to ask something she’d been wondering about before. “You’re the amusement park’s owner right? Then why are you in the three-way stand off with the other territories?” What came to mind when thinking about an amusement park was family fun; a place of safety and joy, not of gun battles.

His grin showed a bit of canine. “I’m an amusement park owner, right? Doesn’t an amusement park need land too?”

 _Wellll yes, but-_ “Enough that you feel the need to compete with the Castle and the Mafia for it?” And the lives that would be lost, what about them?

“I’m surprised you haven’t had this conversation with the people in your territory?” he said, his voice lilting questioningly at the end.

“They told me all the territories are dangerous in their own ways, and that everyone was armed and all, but that was just about it,” feet tapping against the metal bottom of the table leg, she answered him.

He spread his arms in declaration. “What you need to understand, and which everything hinges on in the end, is that this place is a game. Wonderland is a game, and a game can be won or lost. But for that to happen, there need to be participants.”

“And that’s you and the other roleholders?” Lucy guessed.

He shook his head in a rueful gesture. “And the faceless are important too in their own ways. They have to make up the space us roleholders don’t take. Footsoldiers, shoppers, citizens. A country with only twelve inhabitants can’t be called a country— _it needs_ others to fill in that space, even if we’re the only ones who’re actually participating in the game, and there’s only a country to fill _because_ of the game.”

He went on to say, as their meals arrived, “You’re called an outsider because you’re not a part of the game. You don’t replace any of the citizens killed of by the roleholders whims, and neither are you part of the three-way territory struggle. You’ve got a place to go back to as well. Even if the game is finished and another one doesn’t slot into place, you still have a place to return to.” A slight smile, almost self-criminating, settled on his face. “That means you’re irreplacable. That what you choose to do is meaningful.”

“Meaningful...” she repeated, looking down at her fries. She felt like everything she was doing here was meaningless. Just... living her life waiting. She let her hand lower to touch the pocket around her bottle. Waiting for when she could get back to her pointless life on the park bench.

“But was does this info have to do with the amusement park?” she asked next, forcing herself back to the topic rather than anymore angsting. There was enough of that for her to do when she was on her own, but she was conversing with someone right now. It’d be... rude, if she descended into her own mind.

“I can’t refuse to play,” Gowland pointed out, a natural assumption that could be pulled from his previous explanation. “What is a marquise that doesn’t own land? ...If I refuse, my land will quickly be eaten up by the other territories, my role becoming irrelevant. I’d lose meaning.”

His countenance remained exactly the same even as he said those words, not letting slip any unease. But she nevertheless felt like they were words said with weight, especially with the repetition of “meaning.”

Remembering her food, she devoured a fry in quick bites before speaking, “Hypothetically, if that ever happened, what would happen to the rest of Wonderland?” She elaborated, “Since there wouldn’t be three but two sides in the conflict, will the remaining territories fight until one of them wins? If so, what would then happen?” Looked at him cautiously over her eyelashes. “Game over?”

He laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling and said, “You don’t need to be so gentle with me. I can take the thought experiment.”

Lucy spluttered at his words. _So he caught what I was trying there._ Great, now she felt embarrassed. The chair creaking as she shifted restlessly. “I just thought..from what you were saying before, it’s not a nice thought?”

He sobered enough to address that. “You’re right. It’d be a terrifying simulation to everyone here in Wonderland, so you should probably not ponder about it so much in public with more fragile people.” He then turned his thumbs to himself. “Not me, I can take it! And besides, I can see you were at the point of explosion worrying about this stuff.”

“....Not completely untrue,” she muttered, letting him have it, and traced patterns in the metal of her arm rest.

“But yes,” he said, after a pause. She looked up at him, into the unmoving blue of his eyes. “If that will ever happen, a new game would be started and the roles of the old game would become obsolete. That’s why we have the ability to make rules, so we’ll still exist in this world.”

It sounded abundantly nihilistic. And these people were living it, day by day. Lucy’s eyes widened. Such an existence was like a constant struggle to remain relevant, as the roleholders would literally cease existing if they gave up their roles.

It was eye-opening.

Could she think about the twins in better terms with this in mind?

 _The twins..._ Now that she was thinking about them-this guy seemed to understand a lot of things. Would he be able to help her set to rest the rest of her inhibitions regarding the two?

Lucy went ahead and took that risk.

“Thank you for telling me that. There’s just one thing I wanted to ask, and it’s about the people at my residence.”

He waved a casual hand in the air. “Go ahead.”

She twined her fingers together and rested her chin on top of them, still facing the carnival dressed man. “Dee and Dum...can I trust them?”

"The bloody twins. You've chosen a hard two to like," he replied.

She sighed, one hand on a fry. "Like I don't already know that."

"I can tell you one thing about them. They're not actively malicious. If they're on your side you shouldn't be having any complaints."

"I don't have any, but I'm scared," she explained.

"Because they're strong?" Gowland asked, his eyes scanning her searchingly.

Lucy shrugged helplessly. "Because I'm weak."

She flicked her eyes up and explained her view, "back in my world, it was very important to be a person strong in morals. Even rudeness was the end of the world for some people. I'm finding it very hard to adjust here where all of that doesn't seem to be the case. I think Dee and dam want me to apply their rules on this world and give me a compass this way, except that I have no way of knowing whether their particular brand of violence is normal here."

Gowland was sympathetic. "You saw them hurt somebody, didn't you?"

Lucy chewed dourly on her food and let that answer for her.

"Then I get where you're coming from. It's hard to see the people you like have sides that you don't like. It's very difficult to keep those two sides separate in your mind and not let it colour your overall perception of them."

She was nodding in earnest now. That was it exactly.

"This world actively antagonizes the uglier sides of people, however. How long have you been here again?"

"A year ... I think."

"Once you stay here for longer, the same will happen to you. And you don't want to be shunned for something you can't help, do you?"

She shook her head no.

"And there you have it," he finished, the burly man looking satisfied with himself.

Okay, fine. So another person suggested to her she should just get over herself. Right. ...So was she actually going to?

Actually, since she was putting this in the words of “getting over herself”...

Lucy stared aimlessly at a spot in the sky to her left, before thanking Gowland for the conversation. She quietly devoured the rest of the meal before walking back home.

Back home, Lucy quietly knocked on the door to the twin’s room, not having met them at the front gates like usual.

There were the sounds of foosteps thumping against carpet before the door was pulled open. “Oh, it’s Lucy. Was there something you wanted?” asked the blue haired brother in his younger manifestation from the other side of the door.

“Just wanted to relax here. Why? Are you two busy?” she replied, and stepped past him further into the room before he could answer.

Dum waved at the sofa in the middle of the room, sharp sickles dangling from the ceiling acting as decor, and she took a beeline to him before sinking into the plush cushion of the seat next to him.

“Not really,” Dum answered her anyway, and walked over to them with arms pillowed behind his head. The door slides shut behind him.

There was a moment of awkward silence when they were all seated, which made sense. Lucy had just interrupted whatever they’d been up to, which was likely not something they could discuss with her considering she detested most of their hobbies.

So she opened up the conversation with something she’d been thinking about for a while now, “Dee... Dum... Were you two actually originally from my world?”

Dee answered with, “Were you wondering whether we knew each other before? We didn’t.” Which was a non-answer if there was ever one.

Lucy sat straighter on the edge of her seat. “No, what I mean is... “ she lowered her voice in a whisper, “Were you not roleholders before?”

_Can you become a roleholder?_

A hint of a smile peaked from the corners of Dum’s mouth at what she said to his brother. Dee spoke cheerfully, “You caught what we were trying to apply. How sharp of you, Lucy.”

“So you want me to become a roleholder,” she assumed, before shifting her hand over the pocket holding her bottle. “..But how is that possible If I’m going to leave anyway?”

Dee leaned his cheek sideways against the sofa’s cushion. “Didn’t Dum and I already tell you?”

His red-eyed brother elaborated for him, “Instead of winning this game of hearts: lose.”

They’d already said what before? Lucy tried to think back, way back, when she’d just arrived here. After they’d admitted they were lying about her having to stay here forever. She couldn’t help remember her own twisted and confused feelings about having to return, even back then. Of course, they’d grown a hundred fold since then. They’d also spoken about the game, she thought? She had fuzzier memories about that part.

But she remembered the way to leave was to interact with the people here, and she’d already done that to the point the liquid from her bottle was almost to the top.

She voiced her thoughts, “How can I avoid winning then, if just speaking to you all will speed it up?”

Dum reached out to grip her hand, smoothing his thumb over the knuckles. “Just stay. Even when you want to go, even when you know you can go and the exit becomes open to you at that moment, please don’t take it.”

She’d almost expect his voice to tremble there with the word choice, but no, he kept it fully under control, confident that she would listen to him.

“Yeah,” his brother supported, “That’s everything you need to do. If you just stay here then...it’ll happen automatically. Foreigners can immigrate even in your world, right?”

She exhaled. _Do I want this?_ “Right.” Did she?

She could do a little soul searching, search her feelings on the matter, but her instinctual reaction already explained everything. Becoming a roleholder – _staying here –_ wasn’t in the least bit offending to her. She’d been able to live all this time and... it hadn’t been unpleasant.

Even though she knew staying here went against every moral rule she’d learned, because it’d mean she was _okay_ with the violence and death that was a common affair here. It’d mean accepting it instead of rejecting it, and all she knew of right and wrong was screaming at her that comfort wasn’t a worthy substitute for rightness.

 _But what was?_ Would it be better, _morally superior,_ of her, to chose a live of misery instead of comfort? Of rejecting being actually accepted by people instead of remaining a social pariah whether she remained homeless or not? Or...maybe the reason she actually wanted to stay was because it’d mean an acceptance of herself _by_ herself—because she knew without a doubt that she couldn’t be the person her society wanted her to be.

Going back would be akin to shooting herself in the foot in that case; it’d be going against herself.

Taking the bottle from her pocket, ignoring the brothers to gaze at it in the light, her voice came out in a hush, “Okay.”

Dum, pressing a kiss onto her back hand, smoothed his lips into a smile.

Lucy shivered slightly against the feel, her doubt wanting to explode in her with the physical evidence of his satisfaction. Those doubts were banished from her mind when Dee, feeling left out, leaned over the space in front of her before kissing her.

Kissing her. Kissing her. Kissing her! Lucy's mind went blank against the smooth feel of the brother's lips moulding against hers, heat spreading out from where he touched her and heating her up beneath the surface like a bubbling cauldron. She reached out to steady her hands against his shoulders, his shoulderblades flexing at her touch.

While Dee lovingly attended to her lips, Dum followed her wrist upwards, pressing butterfly kisses and teeth grazing kisses on the naked skin of her arm before reaching her neck. He nuzzled her cheeks before lavishing the area with his tongue.

The heat now more like a bonfire, Lucy squirmed underneath their twin attentions in a wholly pleasant way.

Bizarrely, she wanted to say thank you, but that was stupid so she didn't. What was even the etiquette of something like this? It wasn’t like she’d ever done this before.

Ratcheting up his kissing, Dee sucked on her bottom lip, pulling and pushing in a rolling maneuver that spread pleasant shivers down her neck.

She moaned, "Nngh-"

He pressed closer, knees knocking against hers before locking them together. Dum, ignoring her personal bubble completely, fell into the gap Dee left so he was completely in her lap, sliding his fingers beneath her shirt so he could move them behind her back. Fingers massaged her there, finding the knots in her skin and conquering them. His weight on her dragging her down felt so good.

Lucy, letting out gasps and pleasant exhales, dug her fingers nails into Dee's shirt demandingly. He smiled understandingly and, removing his lips from hers for a second, he tore the fabric off of his shoulders. She planted her fingers there again, and this time could feel the firm, warm flesh over his bones and dug her fingers in. From his grunt, she presumed he enjoyed this before he passionately recaptured her lips and proved her right beyond all doubts. Opening her mouth slightly, she let him flick his tongue against hers, and suck on the soft flesh of her inner lip, pulling inwards and then pushing outwards in a consistent tempo. She bit of another gasp, "Ah-"

Letting Dee go for a sec, she gathered up the other boy in her lap and squished him closer to her. He shuffled in her lap to become comfortable at this change of position, lifting her shirt up a bit more as his hips slid forwards, his legs bracing against her from both sides, leaving a trail of heat behind where they came in contact with.

But there was still something important she had to say. “But if I-“ kiss “-become a roleholder-“ kiss “-what will that change about me?” she finished breathlessly, and she could count Dee’s eyelashes if she wanted to, above the blue of his eyes, as light and emphereal as the ocean’s waves when the sun’s rays hit on it just right.

Was she the sun in this simile? _\- No, don’t digress._

But it was difficult to stay on topic, back, forwards, back forwards, Dum’s using the heel of his hand to press into her skin, lighting up sparks.

“Nothing,” Dum promised, whispering in the crook of her neck before he bit down. She hissed at the sting and gripped tighter onto him, before being distracted by Dee’s nip to her chin, which he then immediately began lapping at with his tongue like a cat.  

No, she’d had enough of this. Lucy pushed Dee’s face away with her open palm and shoved Dum off of her lap. He landed on a heap on the floor, his fall done almost artfully. The smile on his face told her no harm was done.

Lucy caught her breath for a moment, before she slid a hair behind her ear in a nonchalant gesture. “Thank you for telling me this.” She stood and walked over to the door. “Okay, bye.” Shoved it open and slammed it shut again the moment her foot hit the hallway floor. Her heart was beating a hundred miles an hour from how far she’d let that go.

She took another shaky breathe as she commanded her legs to walk. She was staggering down the hallway now.

What was that?

What in all hells was that!?

Lucy wiped at her mouth in revulsion and opened the door to her own room, once she’d gotten there. She took a towel she had hanging from the back of a chair in the middle of the room and wiped it at the drool slobber on her skin. Yuck.

Slipping back under the covers once she was done, she resorted to the time honoured tradition of sleeping to avoid dealing with her problems. (But really, all three of them at once?) ( _Shut up, mind._ )

Lucy dreamed....

 _A pungent, chestnut and needle smelling, bright summer’s day._ _Middle school, a field trip._

_Tent fabric pulled over dozing people, people playing in the woods at the peripheral of the camp, and a deserted field to the side of the area._

_Distant murmuring or screaming voices of children at play, and the soft exhales of the people who were sleeping._

_And finally her, Lucy, tall red-haired Lucy, with big strides charging into that field. Her hands were balled up and her jaw clenched at a harsh angle as she tromped through the grass lands, nearing the only other one standing in the field like her. Clamont._

**_Clamont._ **

_Standing in the dirt with his hands casually stuffed in his slack, his gaze turned on a spot out in the distance. She came closer, drew herself up next to him and he finally looked up and greeted her carelessly, “Lucy. What did you want us to meet for-“_

_In a split second she was on him, driving him back first into the mud with her knees on his hips and her arm shoved into his windpipe. He tried to cough, gagging, uncomprehending as of yet the degree of danger he was in. First wanting to convince her otherwise, “W-hwhat-“_

_She hauled him up by his arm, dragged him up the field until she got to where the stone slab lay which she had prepared earlier that day and slammed him down head first into the rock._

_“Lu, Luucyyy” he slurred._

_She tore him from the slab before slamming his scalp into the rock. And she drove his head in again. And she drove it in again. The juices of his broken open scalp bled into her hands, but she drove it in again-_

When she woke up again, it was still night, but that didn’t bother her much. She slipped her legs over the edge of her bed and looked hazely at nothing for a moment, the lack of light not doing little to snap her fully awake. A grimace pulled at her lips as last night’s events filtered in.

She’d never thought she was the sort of person to go out with two people at once but she supposed that was something that was now happening. _I guess, at least,_ she finished morosely in her mind, the tone of her thoughts actually complete at odds with the excitement which stirred her abdomen thinking about it, going over the experience again.

Who was she even kidding? As she thought that, her lips lifted slightly in an actual smile and she brightly pushed on the bed’s springy mattress to get to her feet before going over to her closet to dress for the day.

Once properly adorned in a knee length skirt and a wooly pullover, she slipped out of her room into the hallway and shut the door behind her.

Humming to herself, Lucy started down the narrow corridor leading to the exit.

What did she want to do for today? Honestly, Lucy was spoiled for choice. She could go and ride the rollercoasters in the amusement park or have a heart to heart with the remarkably harmless Gowland (now he wouldn’t start up his violin in her presence), or visit the cat-or she could go to the only territory she hadn’t been to yet.

Lucy cocked her head. _Not completely true,_ she thought, as the trees moved past her while she walked up the path which would eventually lead her to the tower, _I have been to the little town attached to it._ Maybe once or twice. She’d never bothered giving the clock tower a visit, though she’d known a man called the clockmaker lived there.

Now that her worries about meeting everyone were set to rest – Lucy’s brows twitched, _that’s also not completely true –_ but, as far as her trust in Dee and Dum was letting her, she could go there and meet with the roleholder. Since the twins hadn’t reacted as strongly as they had at Peter White’s name, she presumed the man had a demeanor more like Gowland’s.

Besides, he was a clockmaker, wasn’t he?

_How dangerous could he really be?_

With this thought in mind, Lucy, continuing humming, lengthened her strides down the muddy path.

Later.

Lucy looked up-and up and up-at the steal beamed structure of what had to be the clock tower. She looked at the simple wooden door and found there was no such thing as a buzzer. _That means I need to knock I guess?_

Shrugging, Lucy reached out for the handle.

"Miss outsider?" A disbelieving voice called out from behind her.

She could recall the owner of that voice and looked over her shoulder at him. "Sir knight."

The red bedecked man casually wandered over and waved his hand at her words. "There's no need to call me that. Call me by my name-Ace.”

"Then why not do the same for me?" she suggested as he stepped beside her.  

"Hmm. I never noticed I was doing that, calling you by your title," he mused. "Then, Lucy, don't mind if I do!" He grinned cheerfully and bowed his head to look at her hand poised to knock.

"There's no buzzer I think," she explained.

"So then, this is your first time coming here, " he surmised, before placing his hand on the door and giving it a light push. It creaked open as if it had already been slightly ajar. "I'd have noticed if it had been, however."

He gestured demonstrating at the opening in the wall. "Julius knows when someone's to arrive, leaving it open in advance. Now, want to come in with me?"

Lucy scratched the side of her head and frowned hesitantly. "If you have an appointment with him-"

"I don't," the knight assured her, ushering her in with a touch on her upper back.

Julius ended up being a tall, slender man with a really cool clock themed coat on (gold etching stitched in the folds) and blue hair falling down his back like a waterfall. Lucy wished she had hair that silky. At the moment he was bowed over his workshop, his hands working with tiny pieces of metal to generate the whole, and as first impressions go, it was a positive one for her.

“Julius!” Ace called out with his arms wide, entering the small room. Lucy looked at the blue wallpaper which mirrored the blueness of the bricks this tower was made out of – a running theme? – before focusing on the fact that he had a studio bed as to maximize the space in the room. An ulitarian person then? Or maybe it was sheer necessity that led him to do so?

“You’re early,” the man spoke up in a sober monotone and didn’t move even as Ace embraced him with all the enthusiasm of seeing a long lost friend for the first time.

“Early?” The knight laughed, gesturing frivolously in the air with a hand. “It took me ten time changes to get here.”

“Exactly,” the other droned on, to an “ouch” from Ace, apparently because him taking even that long amount of time to get there was nothing compared to his usual.  

Ace, releasing his grip on his friends shoulders, then turned to her and gestured. Julius followed his gaze and leveled her with expectant eyes. 

“This is the miss outsider, Lucy,” he introduced brightly.

Listening to her first instinct, she stuck her hand out for him to shake. “And you’re Julius?”

His grip was solid, dependable. “Yes--Julius Monrey. Was there something you needed of me?”

“Does everyone visiting you need to need something?” Ace wondered, resting his back against the sidetable next to Julius’s workshop. “Lucy can’t just have shown up to experience the pleasure of your company?”

“It’s rare,” Julius agreed, his tone colourless, before she could speak up and admit that was it.

“Actually...” she began sheepishly. “I did just come here because I’ve never met you before and I wanted to change that.” Mainly because she’d met every other roleholder in the country, which did not subtract from her point.

The look the red bedecked knight sent the gloriously silky haired clockmaker was one filled with “I told you so.”

The clockmaker turned back to his work, picking up a screw. “Then leave.”

“Um, what?” Lucy looked at his back in confusion.

“I’m busy working and won’t be able to play entertainment to you. You’ll only be bored if you stay here. You should leave.” His fingers began to work, rotating and angling screws and clock gears. He still had his back turned to her.

Ace, his arms pillowed behind his head while dancing eyes watched the man work, let a smile cross his face. “Yep, that’s Julius alright. Perpetually no-nonsense, always a wet blanket, his gloominess enters any room he is in.” Despite the barbs leaving his tongue, the smile shone in its sincerety, showing his fondness for the man he lambasted.

“You two **are** friends ...right?” She muttered, if only to herself. Ace’s smile kicked up a notch in radiation.

“Of course we are! The very best of friends. I couldn’t find a better one than Julius,” he assured her.

Julius, meanwhile, only had this to say: “We’re not.”

She looked from the one to the other and hiked her shoulders in a helpless gesture. _“_ Well, doesn’t matter in either case.” She considered Julius again, how his hair gathered at the back of his head in a ponytail. “I don’t really want to leave, though. But if I’m interrupting your work, I guess I have no choice.”

She could see a twitch run down his spine at her words. She cheered inwardly. _Finally, movement._

“You...” he coughed awkwardly, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ll be working all the time you’ll be here though, so don’t complain if it gets boring.”

The knight leaned towards her, and whispered behind his hand, “Julius is a tsundere.”

“I can hear you,” the clockmaker’s called out flatly, leaving the knight undeterred chuckling.

Lucy ended up sitting up on his studio bed (he didn’t have any other places for her to sit) and started a question and answer session to get to know the clockmaker better.

“So your profession is clockmaker, isn’t it? Is it because of this that you’re living in a clock tower?” – was her first question.

“I do live here because of my profession, so in that you’re right. There needed to be a clocktower and a shopping street for me to buy part from because my profession is an intricate neutral one. If I stayed at a place inside any of the other territories, there wouldn’t be any certainty of this.”

“I guess that made sense,” she mused. She pointed one finger in the air, “Because otherwise they could ceize your means of production and the shops that make those parts for you, and stop you from fixing clocks from people of other territories, right?”

“Not only that,” Ace threw in there, still supervising from the side of the room, “But Julius could also be attacked easier by people from other territories if he lived in one of them. A clockmaker is not a popular profession.”

Lucy cocked her head and scrunched up her nose (primarily at the thought of Julius being injured). “Would anyone really want to hurt him—oh what am I saying, of course they would.” She sighed through her nose, pushing at the bed’s metal frame. “Though that stands by the idea that Julius’s profession is a critical one. There aren’t any other clockmaker’s?”

“You’re on the correct line of thought. But it’s why the profession itself is so important that you should be asking,” Ace complimented and suggested in turn, with a light tone of voice.

“Ace...” The clockmaker warned him, and the knight raised his hands in placation.

But he did remind the man, “If miss outsider is going to be staying here, she’ll need to know about it sooner than later. Keeping her in the dark,” he finished soberly, “Is against the rules.”

A meaningful tension collected inside the room after those words and Lucy fidgeted. Eventually she theorized, “Is it because without clocks nobody would read the time?”

At Ace’s tilt of the chin, she elaborated, “Because time is so unsteady in Wonderland. The time changes don’t have a set amount of hours of duration. They can last as long as a day or as short as a minute. And they don’t take place on a logical progression either, since it can be day and then night and then evening and then night again.”

“Have you noticed anyone keeping a stable schedule of time?” the knight prodded.

 _Have I?_ Lucy thought back about her experiences here. Her first instinct was to say “no.” That stayed even after she recalled the past.

“But somebody has to. Maybe the faceless who I don’t pay much attention to. I mean, otherwise, why would a clockmaker exist anyway, if there aren’t any clocks to fix?” She looked beseechingly at Julius.

“Funny that you say that,” Ace cut in, and her gaze was drawn back to his boyish features as he stared at a distant point in space. “The faceless do ‘break’” – she felt the words had quotation marks attached to them – “their clocks more often than we roleholders do. Can you imagine why this is? What’s so different about us and about them that they’d break them more?”

If Lucy remembered correctly, a roleholder had a role and a faceless didn’t. But faceless could do jobs as well, like becoming a maid or a soldier or a member of the mafia, so the roles themselves weren’t that important. The other important difference that roleholders had and faceless didn’t was in the name. Ace and his ilk had perceivable facial differences which simply wasn’t there in the faceless. Lastly, roleholders were considered more important while faceless simple cannon fodder—she still remembered what the twins had said on the matter.

Since clocks were broken more often by faceless and they were less good at fights than roleholders, it’d mean: “They get their clocks broken more often because they lose fights more often,” she murmured to herself.

Julius clicked his tongue but didn’t say anything more while Ace applauded. “That’s right Lucy. That’s exactly right.” The red of his eyes speared hers, challenging her to make further interferences on this piece of information. She’d heard enough to know Julius didn’t want her to though—but it was against the rules to intervene.

It sounded like clocks and the like were pretty important stuff she needed to know in that case. That this was another way in which her world and this world differed. How, then?

 _Wonderland doesn’t have a stable time. It skips, fast forwards, and returns whenever it wanted to,_ she thought. _There’s a clockmaker anyway who fixes broken clocks even though I haven’t seen anyone actually use one since I got here. Faceless break their clocks more often than roleholders, though it does happen that roleholders can break their clocks more._

 _It continues then,_ she thought, _that clocks here aren’t used to read time. Maybe because it can’t, maybe because nobody cares to use them like that. Clocks are broken—fights are lost. Fights are lost when clocks are broken... fights lead to death, almost no exceptions... cannon fodder means there are a lot of deaths. Julius is often busy, even now when he has a guest, so there need to be a lot of clocks repaired even with roleholders rarely losing fights._

When she spoke, her voice came out brittle, tension-fraught, “No... It can’t be...”

She looked at the clock Julius was still seamlessly working on despite his distate on the subject matter that they were discussing, the oil coating his hands like blood. “Wonderland doesn’t seem to work on time but it does. Time is inside a person and stops when a person dies, because a person runs on time. People _are_ the clocks.”

She jolted at Ace’s clap. “Well done, well reasoned out,” he praised, kicking away from the wall to walk over to the bed. “But that’s not anything to be scared about. After all, we have a clockmaker.” He gestured grandly with his wrist Julius’s way. “And he’ll fix any broken clocks without fail. He’s our world’s version of a god.”

“I object to that statement,” Julius refuted, finally speaking after his silence all this time. “I’m just a mortician, handling the dead remains of the people.” His voice was heavy with resignation on the matter.

Lucy’s face was still twisted in distaste at what she’d just found out, but Ace’s words gave her a twinge of hope. “Wait. That’s true,” she murmured, locking eyes with Julius who’d had his head turned their way. “That there’s a clockmaker means people _do_ get fixed—they don’t just die, you _heal_ them.”

“I wish that was true,” the blue haired clockmaker said gravely, breaking their eye contact. He continued bruskly, “but it’s not. There can only be replacements. When a person dies, they die.”

The knight patted her hands in sympathy from where they were on eye level with him, since she was still elevated on the studio bed. Lucy tightened her grip on the railing. “How does that work out then? People die—clocks show up? And then you fix them and give them to others?” The edge of accusation she could barely keep from her voice.

“People, when they die,” the clockmaker began his lecture dispassionately, “leave behind two things. A clock, which their body eventually melts into, and a substance called an afterimage. Senient shadows which then collect clocks and bring them back here where I work on them. An afterimage becomes a person again after they’ve been given the completed clock, but they will be a complete different person than who first had the clock.”

“’Replacements,’” she repeated and muttered to herself, “sounds like reincarnation.” She then raised her voice, “And people are okay with this then? Their loved ones dying by people who think of them as cannon fodder at the least, and then what they get in return are ...effectively strangers?”

“Most people come back wanting their friends and dash or family fixed,” Ace explained, full out holding her wrist now. The warmth was comfortable so she didn’t pull away. “Once they get their replacements, they will treat the new person as if they’re the old, because that’s what they are. Replacements. There’d be no need for them to exist if people didn’t need them. But that does happen.” A complicated look fell on his face. “People not needing them, that is. Shunned by the inner circle of their predeccesor, and nobody else wanting to take them in, they don’t often lead happy lives.”

“Ignoring the tragedy of the latter,” she replied, easily able to imagine it (and not wanting to) “You said most people. Who isn’t like most?”

“Some people try and keep their clocks away from the afterimages. That’s where I come in,” Ace answered.

She raised her eyebrows. “How so?”

“I get them back,” he said simply. “Sabotaging Julius’s work and getting away with it? I can’t allow that.”

Lucy took her hands away from the railing, and he let go of her wrist. “So you don’t feel any sympathy for them about wanting to keep their loved one’s clocks.”

“Sometimes they hide a stranger’s clock,” he confessed.

Julius cleared his throat before they could get further into the ethics of it all, drawing her attention back to him like an irrisistable magnetic force.

"If you'll be making a racket at each other, you might as well leave," he grumped.

A smile split Ace's face like the cat's that ate the cream and he said, "Awww Julius, you feeling left out? Then we will make sure to include you this time, Lucy and I," offering her name up without any input from her.

Not that she cared in this case. "Yeah, we were dominating the conversation in the end. Sorry. What would you like to talk about instead?"

The man sighed tersely, before suggesting she speak about what her time in Wonderland has been like so far.

"Strange," she considered to be a good descriptor. "Also overtly violent. You know I live with the hatters?" She didn't wait for his nod of indication. "The ones I spend most of my time with are their gatekeepers, albeit they and I have nothing in common. They're also the ones who dragged me here."

"I know," Julius assured her on the matter.

"They must have something about them, which leads you to gravitate more to them than anyone else surely," Ace said at the same time. "You're also sure you and them have absolutely nothing in common?"

"Well, I guess they like me? And its hard to hate the people who like you." She shrugged to show her own uncertainty on the matter. "And I guess its impossible to have absolutely nothing in common with a person, so I guess I do have some things like them. I just don't know what."

"Maybe if you broaden your horizons and spend more time with people away from your residence, you'll find you like other people better," Julius suggested as an option.

"Or you'll realize just what you like so much about the twins that makes you keep returning," Ace finished. "It's a win win situation in either case."

She arched her eyebrow and leaned backwards into the bed. "So what--you two offering?"

Julius stiffened in his seat, probably not having expected her to come down to the logical conclusion. Ace, well, he just grinned. "You accepting?"  Teased, hands in his pockets.

She brushed a strand of red hair behind her ear. "It's a good offer and I have nothing better to do." Only one thing stopped her from accepting it out of hand. Her medicine bottle, the personification of her heart. "I'm just not going to be around for much longer, so there's no point in it."

"You're going to die?!" Ace exclaimed in a panic and she went over what shed just said before dryly laughing.

"Ha ha ha no. You know what I meant," and let her hand cover the pocket she kept the bottle in. "When I'm leaving Wonderland."

Julius nodded. "That's a good decision. Once you return to your place, you won't be able to take with you anything of Wonderland."

At his words, a vice seemed to clamp around her heart. "Anything?" She repeated faintly.

"It'll be like you just woke up from a dream."

Her gaze shot up to the ceiling and she let her eyes run over the cracks. The squeezing sensation in her abdomen was not letting off. "I stay," she theorized, "And what would happen then-- to the me that's in the park?"

"Are you sure you want to know this?" Julius murmured. With the unsaid part that she was going to leave and it didn't concern her anyway.

She hesitantly tore her eyes from the ceiling, to the men in the room observing her. Ace with an enigmatic, not quite smile on his face (it was too rote of a smile to be one) and Julius's artful lack of expression. Their eyes shone with the same reptilian light.

"I kind of," her voice lingered in the air, looking for the words to use. She settled on,  “Okay. So I just kept something behind." Her lips pulled as she grimaced. "That something being that I'm sporting with the idea of staying here, if that is indeed possible."

Ace's eyes widened in surprise and he voiced, "You sure you want to do that? Even just settling aside the matter of regret, if you stay you'll also have to deal with the country moving or you moving without it like with Alice." It being left unsaid that if that happened, she'd be without the support she had here.

But for Lucy, it wasn't specifically the people that attracted her to Wonderland. It was the rokeholder mechanism--the idea that she could finally be her without any blame being assigned to her. Since in that sort of case, she's have no choice to act in such a manner as it'd be her role.

What the twins had said strongly hinted towards such a future.

So even if she was forcibly moved, if she could eventually blend in to the world enough for a role to arise from her ...

But this was something private she couldn't tell the sketchy knight or the clockmaker she was meeting for the first time.

"Did the twins suggest it to you?" Julius hypothesized after her silence. He was right on the money. Her nose scrunched up in annoyance.

"Yes."

Ace laughed, extending his arms behind him in a stretch. "Let me get that straight—this from the same twins who're you're not sure you like, who tore you from what you've known in their childish whims, and you're taking what they said in consideration anyway."

"They made good points," she replied, trying not to sound defensive. Then pursed her lips at him at the word choice of childish whims. "I also don't think they took me here out of boredom or anything, but that's a whole 'nother story."

"So it's something between you and the mafia's gatekeepers," Ace surmised. He locked eyes with her. "And that whatever has to do with the reason why they took you here?"

Dee had said only someone who wanted escape could show up here. It had felt like he and his brother could understand her pain, the reasons she wanted escapism, intimately. That her reasons for it and their reasons for it were the same. What life experiences could have led to them growing the role the Bloody Twins?

... What sort of role was she going to have, if it was indeed the case that she'd become a roleholder?

"You can tell us about it if it isn't too personal," Julius suggested, taking his hands from the clock he was finished tinkering with to fold them in his lap. "The twins have good reason for wanting you to stay here, so if you want a less biased opinion on it, it'd be best to run it by us, or someone else you know better you'd prefer to talk to."

 _Good point._ she could tell them about it, couldn't she? By keeping behind her motives and simply telling them what she wanted. Taking in a deep breath, Lucy gathered the courage to do so: "I want to become a roleholder."

"..Excuse me?" Ace let out in disbelief.

"You want to become a roleholder ..." Julius repeated bleakly after her.

Emotion had been kicked out of the two's countenances, leaving nothing behind but pure, stark, shock. Lucy opened her mouth to ask why they were blanking out so badly from her wish but though better than it. She clenched her teeth together and grabbed a piece of fabric from the bed to hold.

"You do realize what all of that entails," began Ace.

"That's right," she cut him of. "And it’s what I want anyways."

"You'll have to accept the fact that people can be replaced," Ace ticked of his fingers, like he didn't hear. "You'll have to accept the reality that you will no longer be a special, meaningful entity on your own. The only meaning you'll have left is in the rules you create and then follow, and in playing the great game of territory. You'll also have to learn how to fight so you don't get replaced the first time you're out, and get used to the loathing and envy completely strange to you faceless will lavish you with."

It slipped out before she could stop it, "And a lowered sense of personal responsibility."

The room hushed. Lucy squeezing her eyes closed at her idiocy at saying too much. She could hear her blood take a lap through her arteries with the beating of her heart. When she opened her eyes, it was to the view of

Ace looking at her with a crystalized sense of understanding, closely mirrored by Julius a moment after.

It was Ace who said what they undoubtedly were both thinking: "You poor thing."

Lucy felt the blood rush to her cheeks and was aware she probably had a flush rising on them and cursed herself again for over sharing.

"Whoever made you think you couldn't trust yourself is absolutely a bad guy," he went on to stay. "You don't need a role and rules to kennel you. Everything you've done since you got here has told me you're a good person. Not that you're acting like a good person, but that you actually are one," he said with force, noticing her disengaging.

"The rules are different here," she said flatly, but loaded with meaning.

"You don't have to do this," said Julius, and she believed he truly meant it.

"I want to 'kill' whoever made you think this way," Ace said. A stormy look painted stark lines on his face which hadn't been there before, and it was almost scary. She believed he too, was being sincere.

"That's useless," she decreed. Her parents were still in the other world. "Utterly and utterly useless."

"Kill," Ace returned, and he was gripping the hilt of his broadsword.

Lucy felt sorry for him.

But it was a good thing she was having this conversation, because now she was utterly confident about it. Without a doubt, Lucy would be able to become a roleholder. If not now, then in the future. That was a good thing, a great thing.

 _If only they don’t make it look like its something shameful,_ she grumbled in her mind.

“Anyway, it was nice meeting you,” she said, beginning to make her way down from the bed. She jumped the last few inches and turned to face the blue-haired man. “Thanks for not immediately kicking me out.”

From the complicated look on his face she imagined he understood she was dodging the conversation, but he said his goodbye to her nevertheless.

She stepped outside.

“Now where am I going to go now....”

A time not much longer after that...

“Are you going to leave?” Dee tugged plaintively on her sleeve. “You’re going to leave. Aren’t you?”

She was relaxing with the brothers on a field still somewhere on the hatter’s grounds. It’d be a picknick if they’d bothered to take a sheet with them to lay food onto, which they hadn’t. Putting the slightest of effort into an outing, that was them.

Dum, who was relaxing against the grass with his head resting on his arms said, “Don’t be ridiculous.” His eyes flickered towards her. “You’re smart, so you’re not going to go. Tell my idiot brother this before he has an aneuryism.”

Dee pouted and muttered bitterly, “Like you actually think that. You’re just as worried as me.”

The red-eyed brother sent him a silencing glare, which he switched to a confident smile when he noticed her watching this.

She reached out with both hands to mess up their hair, which they pliantly let her do. “Guys, I’ve already made my mind up. Even if there’s an option open for me to leave, I won’t take it. I want to stay here. That’s something I decided. So don’t worry. Okay?”

When the brothers remained mute, she stopped the movement of her hands and stressed, Ookay?”

“Yes,” they chorused, though she could sense their heart wasn’t in it.

Lucy sighed in irritation. “Seriously, I don’t _want_ to keep on having to pick up after you two’s insecurity.” She lay down as well, to angrily behold the sky. “If _this_ is what it’s going to be like from now on until such a moment happens... I might start avoiding you two, just fyi.”

“No! Don’t avoid us!” In a panic, Dee had sat up and pressed himself closer to her, giving her a front row seat to his teary eyes. His brother hadn’t reacted at all, outside of a brief shudder at the idea.

“ _If_ you insist on keeping on with this topic,” she reminded him as she sat up, pressing her hands to his chest to shove him backwards over the grass. 

“What did you want to talk about instead, Lucy?” Dum inquired.

Lucy brushed a stray strand of hair behind her air, lips smoothing into a neutral line. _Something’s been bothering for a while now. I guess this is a good as time as ever to get it of my chest._ Deciding so, she took in a deep breath and said, “Our relationship. That is, what exactly is it?”

Dee tilted his head in the clueless gesture of millions. “Our relationship? Lucy, what do you mean about that?”

Urk. He was going to make her elaborate. “Last week.” She looked at the two of them from the corners of her eye. “When we.... when that happened.”

“Lucy is so cute when she’s shy,” Dum sighed, a crooked smile on his face, knuckles resting against his cheek.

“Come on,” said Dee at the same time and in a sing-song, “You can call it what it was can’t you? We~ made~ out.”

A blush was already rising in her cheeks, but she valiantly continued, “Yes. That. What was that even about.”

“It wasn’t obvious?” Asked Dee innocently. He then grinned. “You needed your chains unfettered. Like we did. What could we do but help out someone in the same situation we were in? And all of that is beautiful, so beautiful, just being in your very presence brings me joy.”

“Unfettered...” she completed, taking in the affectionate look on the two’s faces in the backdrop of the green field, the sky behind their backs and the sun highlighting the green in their hair. She admitted it. She could believe they loved her. “What does that mean though?”

“Isn’t it true?” Dee returned. “You can’t live with even a single rule. Only a Rule. That’s why the simple act of living itself brings you pain.” His voice sunk to melancholy at the end: pained remembrance. “Because people, they tell you what to do. Who to be. You can’t be constrained like that, were every single desire will only bring you the loathing of others! It’s the absolute worst!”

“Everyone else,” Dum took over from there. “Everyone else, they can still live even in such a society. It doesn’t bother them. They gladly set aside their identity for the comfort of knowing they’re in the right. But you weren’t satisfied with that either. Whether you were breaking the rules, or living in the narrow confines of them, it was the same. It didn’t matter because you knew you were wrong anyway. And the only way to combat something like that is removing the very structure. It’s removing the ability that you _can_ be wrong.”

Lucy paled as she took in what they were saying. “You two have to be wrong,” she said. “You two _have_ to be, have to be because it can’t be that I _need_ to be right all the time. ...Those times I would let my parents disapproval get to me; when I got that I was letting Clamont manipulate me. Even if I was doing something bad... I wouldn’t have cared if they approved?”

“Society would still disapprove of you,” Dee pointed out. “But, essentially, that’s true. You’re a person who can only become your true self if the possibility of judgement was wiped out. Otherwise you’d always simply become what the people around you reflected back to you.”

Dum’s eyes were heated. They were pointed at her and the red of his eyes seemed like warm embers, the fondness simply radiating from him like a bonfire. “You’re pure white. The purest of them all.”

He made it sound ‘good.’ _It’s the least of good._ A quaking started through her; the trembling reaching her limbs. “I, I, I-“

She couldn’t speak.

Dum didn’t need her to, coming out of his lying position to pull her, gently, into a hug. He let her lie in the crook of his neck, devastated beyond words.

 _The thing is, what they just said isn’t even a lie,_ she thought distantly to herself. _I’ve never put it in words before, but it’s not. It’s simply not._ And that was what made it ground shaking.

She didn’t even move when she felt Dee’s hand run down her back, rubbing it. Movement was, at the moment, beyond her. But she was going to have to admit eventually that being with two people in a relationship was impossible for her. Eventually. For now, she basked in their comfort.

 That night...

The area around her was primarily black, with spots of purple, green and blue radiating from distant light sources. There was no ceiling nor floor, though peculiarly, when Lucy started to walk she could still do so.

All noise seemed to be sucked into her dark surroundings. Even her footsteps did not make any sounds as she’d expect. Lucy continued walking in such unerrving, dream-like surroundings. Her destination? Nowhere in particular – or at least at first.

Lucy stopped, raising her chin as she inspected the beam of light which had suddenly shot crept through the blanketing darkness. Or maybe not so suddenly at all, since she felt she’d been going for it all this time. Was that her final destination?

The time had come, Lucy understood, for her to make the choice. Continue onwards into that blinding light and return back to her home. Or... don’t. Just go back into the concealing darkness, which blinded also in it’s own way.

With a quirk of her lips, she felt that both paths had their disadvantages as well as their advantages. It was simply up to her to decide which one she could live with the most.

“I can’t be wrong,” she muttered to herself. That was something the twins who’d dragged her here had told her, based on what they knew about her personality, and about their own. “We understand, because we are you,” she said as well, Dee and Dam’s words again coming out of her mouth.

That wasn’t true. Ignoring the pedantic fact that people were separate entities, she felt like they’d simply judged her behaviour based on their own experiences. That wasn’t wrong persay, but to then say they understood her and knew what was best for her, well.. that was presumptious of them.

And then there was the knight and the clockmaker, who’d both been of the opinion she’d be better of out of Wonderland than in. Pity because people had made her think this way – that she couldn’t deal with people’s judgements to go to such extremes. They acted like this, this... control freak-ish behaviour was something she’d been taught. If so, wouldn’t she be able to unlearn it as well? Eventually go back to normal, instead of roosting in it?

The light winked at her, representing her hope for the future, for change (she thought). The darkness remained inert, a comforting escape, the possibility that she was alright as she was.

If she stayed, was she never the less going to be able to change? Or did that lock the possibility away from her forever?

...In either case, she felt she didn’t have the time to ruminate about this any further. Her legs were already pulling her, almost irresistably, towards the light. If she was going to choose the now, she’d have to make a deliberate choice.

Back?

Forwards?

Squeezing her eyes shut and stopping her legs from moving any further... Lucy _chose._


	5. Choices

Choice A:

“I completely refuse!”

 _No way no how._ Lucy was done with this _farce._ She was giving it up for the bad joke it was. Becoming a roleholder? Suuure. But doing it because she lacked the courage to face her issues? Wasn’t that pathetic?

There was no doubt about it: it really really was.

And she’d been on the point of acting choosing such a life. Lucy almost sneered, thinking of it now, and with big, confident strides took her next steps towards the light.

Eventually, she passed through it.

A white that verged on an emptiness of colour – before the grey bars on the window and the small four by four room swam into focus.

“Oh.”

A tearing up face as she collapsed on all fours. Memories also, clicking back into place. “So that’s why...”

Looking at the prison bars in front of her, she remembered....

(For killing Clamont.)

She’d turned herself in.

Choice B:

A gush of air escaping her in a sigh, Lucy dropped to the ground. She sat onto the emphereal, is it it real or not ground, and tried her very best not to admit it.

“But I have to,” she grumbled to herself.

She was a wreck, a disgusting human being who wouldn’t be wrong. “Because my itty bitty feelings can’t take it,” she sneered. Screw her feelings! -she wanted to be like, and confidently move into the light. Go back to her home.

The thing was, that was not _Lucy._ Right or wrong did not have a part in it but want did. And she wanted- what Lucy _really_ wanted-

“I’m staying.”

The light seemed so far away now, being pulled irrepairably back to where it came from. All exits closed, leaving only the dark.

Lucy turned her eyes on the ceiling of her room inside the Hatter mansion, and smiled.

Fin.


End file.
